Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Hands up if you've ever been told this....
Star_01:
--- Quote from: RPLguy on October 15, 2019, 01:28:55 AM ---So a question for the ladies...would sheer fear of being hurt again or not being healed from the last guy that hurt you and having a hard time trusting that a man who was treating you right be enough to make you fear actually stepping forward to explore the connection???
--- End quote ---
I would always give each guy a chance I meet. You can't tar everyone with the same brush or it'll never work out from the get go. Like if you get cheated on by someone, you can't assume everyone will and then go on to become clingy, possessive insecure and subsequently push the other person away. I certainly wouldn't basically throw someone else under a train and run off to protect myself but hurt them. That's selfish.
Yaz88:
--- Quote from: Star_01 on October 15, 2019, 01:10:06 AM ---Here's the thing. My latest POI I'm convinced he had commitment issues with me too and liked me at one point, but the way things ended he was really nasty about things. He knows I hate being ignored and he did it as a punishment during arguments. If he told me leave him alone he needs space I always respected it, or if he was done fine I can't stalk or harass him into staying in contact with me. But he ignored me the last time we ever had contact after an argument. I sent him a couple of messages asking to please let me know what is going on as I'm confused and hate not knowing what's happening and he would come on read them and say nothing but not delete me off of his social media or block me. So for that I can't really ever forgive him no matter what as that was spiteful after the connection we had and I really was the first person to come in and treat him right after not such a great upbringing. Like Girly1998 said, it's childish and nasty and immature. Some people may say well you should get the message by him ignoring you.. I disagree. If he said straight up he's done and leave him alone then I would take that and try my best to move on. To ignore me... I may be wrong but others have told me, friends and readers it's leaving me in limbo on purpose for when it suits him to come back in. He doesn't want to say move on leave me alone and regret it for incase he needs to come back later. I don't know if that's true but in most cases guys have always been honest or at least blocked me so I got the message. This guy? It's like he disappeared off of the face of the earth. I'm in the same situation, confused, angry, hurt and disappointed. I specifically told the guy please tell me I promise I won't get mad at you but I'd like to know what's happening here and nope. Nothing. Yet an empath is still trying to tell me he plans to pop back into my life and still has feelings and thinks about me. I disagree, how can you do that to someone you care about? I'm hurting and angry. Completely agree with Girly1998 on this one. It's just spiteful.
Edited to add that POI has done this before. He ignored me for 5 or so days and then pops his head up with excuses as though nothing happened.
--- End quote ---
Star, it really is the worst, isn’t it? Yes, a male intuitive who I trust, told me the same thing. If he was done and had moved on, he’d tell you. The issue is that my POI was my friend and he never struck me as someone who’d play games or lead someone on. The confusion is what caused me to start calling psychics, which really made moving on so much harder. Anyway, in Kisha’s last e-mail reading she pegged the situation and said in the colder months she saw me separating from this guy and stated why So I copied and pasted it and texted it to him. That was my way of saying bye. I needed closure.
Star_01:
--- Quote from: Yaz88 on October 15, 2019, 01:43:47 AM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on October 15, 2019, 01:10:06 AM ---Here's the thing. My latest POI I'm convinced he had commitment issues with me too and liked me at one point, but the way things ended he was really nasty about things. He knows I hate being ignored and he did it as a punishment during arguments. If he told me leave him alone he needs space I always respected it, or if he was done fine I can't stalk or harass him into staying in contact with me. But he ignored me the last time we ever had contact after an argument. I sent him a couple of messages asking to please let me know what is going on as I'm confused and hate not knowing what's happening and he would come on read them and say nothing but not delete me off of his social media or block me. So for that I can't really ever forgive him no matter what as that was spiteful after the connection we had and I really was the first person to come in and treat him right after not such a great upbringing. Like Girly1998 said, it's childish and nasty and immature. Some people may say well you should get the message by him ignoring you.. I disagree. If he said straight up he's done and leave him alone then I would take that and try my best to move on. To ignore me... I may be wrong but others have told me, friends and readers it's leaving me in limbo on purpose for when it suits him to come back in. He doesn't want to say move on leave me alone and regret it for incase he needs to come back later. I don't know if that's true but in most cases guys have always been honest or at least blocked me so I got the message. This guy? It's like he disappeared off of the face of the earth. I'm in the same situation, confused, angry, hurt and disappointed. I specifically told the guy please tell me I promise I won't get mad at you but I'd like to know what's happening here and nope. Nothing. Yet an empath is still trying to tell me he plans to pop back into my life and still has feelings and thinks about me. I disagree, how can you do that to someone you care about? I'm hurting and angry. Completely agree with Girly1998 on this one. It's just spiteful.
Edited to add that POI has done this before. He ignored me for 5 or so days and then pops his head up with excuses as though nothing happened.
--- End quote ---
Star, it really is the worst, isn’t it? Yes, a male intuitive who I trust, told me the same thing. If he was done and had moved on, he’d tell you. The issue is that my POI was my friend and he never struck me as someone who’d play games or lead someone on. The confusion is what caused me to start calling psychics, which really made moving on so much harder. Anyway, in Kisha’s last e-mail reading she pegged the situation and said in the colder months she saw me separating from this guy and stated why So I copied and pasted it and texted it to him. That was my way of saying bye. I needed closure.
--- End quote ---
It is quite spiteful imo, and if he came back I could never trust him again to be simply honest. The damage is now done. And my POI is actively on dating sites as I've seen his profile come up, yet supposedly that's him avoiding me and trying to forget about me. It's been 5 months for me too.
Yaz88:
--- Quote from: Star_01 on October 15, 2019, 01:46:34 AM ---
--- Quote from: Yaz88 on October 15, 2019, 01:43:47 AM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on October 15, 2019, 01:10:06 AM ---Here's the thing. My latest POI I'm convinced he had commitment issues with me too and liked me at one point, but the way things ended he was really nasty about things. He knows I hate being ignored and he did it as a punishment during arguments. If he told me leave him alone he needs space I always respected it, or if he was done fine I can't stalk or harass him into staying in contact with me. But he ignored me the last time we ever had contact after an argument. I sent him a couple of messages asking to please let me know what is going on as I'm confused and hate not knowing what's happening and he would come on read them and say nothing but not delete me off of his social media or block me. So for that I can't really ever forgive him no matter what as that was spiteful after the connection we had and I really was the first person to come in and treat him right after not such a great upbringing. Like Girly1998 said, it's childish and nasty and immature. Some people may say well you should get the message by him ignoring you.. I disagree. If he said straight up he's done and leave him alone then I would take that and try my best to move on. To ignore me... I may be wrong but others have told me, friends and readers it's leaving me in limbo on purpose for when it suits him to come back in. He doesn't want to say move on leave me alone and regret it for incase he needs to come back later. I don't know if that's true but in most cases guys have always been honest or at least blocked me so I got the message. This guy? It's like he disappeared off of the face of the earth. I'm in the same situation, confused, angry, hurt and disappointed. I specifically told the guy please tell me I promise I won't get mad at you but I'd like to know what's happening here and nope. Nothing. Yet an empath is still trying to tell me he plans to pop back into my life and still has feelings and thinks about me. I disagree, how can you do that to someone you care about? I'm hurting and angry. Completely agree with Girly1998 on this one. It's just spiteful.
Edited to add that POI has done this before. He ignored me for 5 or so days and then pops his head up with excuses as though nothing happened.
--- End quote ---
Star, it really is the worst, isn’t it? Yes, a male intuitive who I trust, told me the same thing. If he was done and had moved on, he’d tell you. The issue is that my POI was my friend and he never struck me as someone who’d play games or lead someone on. The confusion is what caused me to start calling psychics, which really made moving on so much harder. Anyway, in Kisha’s last e-mail reading she pegged the situation and said in the colder months she saw me separating from this guy and stated why So I copied and pasted it and texted it to him. That was my way of saying bye. I needed closure.
--- End quote ---
It is quite spiteful imo, and if he came back I could never trust him again to be simply honest. The damage is now done. And my POI is actively on dating sites as I've seen his profile come up, yet supposedly that's him avoiding me and trying to forget about me. It's been 5 months for me too.
--- End quote ---
I agree that the trust is gone. There was a point when this could have been salvaged, but now it’s too damaged to be repaired. All they needed to do was respond and say the truth, whatever it may be.
Star_01:
--- Quote from: Yaz88 on October 15, 2019, 02:03:31 AM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on October 15, 2019, 01:46:34 AM ---
--- Quote from: Yaz88 on October 15, 2019, 01:43:47 AM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on October 15, 2019, 01:10:06 AM ---Here's the thing. My latest POI I'm convinced he had commitment issues with me too and liked me at one point, but the way things ended he was really nasty about things. He knows I hate being ignored and he did it as a punishment during arguments. If he told me leave him alone he needs space I always respected it, or if he was done fine I can't stalk or harass him into staying in contact with me. But he ignored me the last time we ever had contact after an argument. I sent him a couple of messages asking to please let me know what is going on as I'm confused and hate not knowing what's happening and he would come on read them and say nothing but not delete me off of his social media or block me. So for that I can't really ever forgive him no matter what as that was spiteful after the connection we had and I really was the first person to come in and treat him right after not such a great upbringing. Like Girly1998 said, it's childish and nasty and immature. Some people may say well you should get the message by him ignoring you.. I disagree. If he said straight up he's done and leave him alone then I would take that and try my best to move on. To ignore me... I may be wrong but others have told me, friends and readers it's leaving me in limbo on purpose for when it suits him to come back in. He doesn't want to say move on leave me alone and regret it for incase he needs to come back later. I don't know if that's true but in most cases guys have always been honest or at least blocked me so I got the message. This guy? It's like he disappeared off of the face of the earth. I'm in the same situation, confused, angry, hurt and disappointed. I specifically told the guy please tell me I promise I won't get mad at you but I'd like to know what's happening here and nope. Nothing. Yet an empath is still trying to tell me he plans to pop back into my life and still has feelings and thinks about me. I disagree, how can you do that to someone you care about? I'm hurting and angry. Completely agree with Girly1998 on this one. It's just spiteful.
Edited to add that POI has done this before. He ignored me for 5 or so days and then pops his head up with excuses as though nothing happened.
--- End quote ---
Star, it really is the worst, isn’t it? Yes, a male intuitive who I trust, told me the same thing. If he was done and had moved on, he’d tell you. The issue is that my POI was my friend and he never struck me as someone who’d play games or lead someone on. The confusion is what caused me to start calling psychics, which really made moving on so much harder. Anyway, in Kisha’s last e-mail reading she pegged the situation and said in the colder months she saw me separating from this guy and stated why So I copied and pasted it and texted it to him. That was my way of saying bye. I needed closure.
--- End quote ---
It is quite spiteful imo, and if he came back I could never trust him again to be simply honest. The damage is now done. And my POI is actively on dating sites as I've seen his profile come up, yet supposedly that's him avoiding me and trying to forget about me. It's been 5 months for me too.
--- End quote ---
I agree that the trust is gone. There was a point when this could have been salvaged, but now it’s too damaged to be repaired. All they needed to do was respond and say the truth, whatever it may be.
--- End quote ---
I quite agree. I've always been one to respect when someone says they're done and leave them alone in relationships, no matter how painful it is I would respect and block and leave then be. And fair enough if the guy tried saying he is done and I didn't listen and kept harassing him and going crazy, but to ask someone what's going on and nothing - is just mean. And if they come back you'll always wonder why, their motives. Is it because they aren't getting things elsewhere that they did with you, or it took them to see other women to suddenly realise what they felt for you and their mistakes? Hmm...
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