At one point I had painted a backdrop of my situation on the board. But as many of you know, with all the drama and hidden readers I had removed or heavily edited most of my posts.
I want to thank Healer for this private board as I REALLY feel the need to be open right now, as I cannot stand my overwhelmin
g emotions at the moment.
I am terrified of taking this new job. It takes me 100% out if my ex's orbit. I knew from the get go this would be a long, difficult journey. Every reader, on their own, has mentioned this relationshi
p in terms of years down the road. Mystikka, Kisha, Michelle Caporale, Cookie....a
nd a few others.
I am very picky about who I call, I just don't go silly calling everyone who will answer. I take my time and reflect on the reader. I do feel I have found good ones.
I am just sad, terrified and losing hope.
For some odd reason I cannot seem to let go of the promises made that "one day" we will get it right. "One day" we will be married. "One day" we can have a family. Promises made by a man whose word doesn't have much value.
He has had several flings since me. I know for a fact they are flings. I know for a fact he still carrries me in his heart and mind. I also know for a fact he has no intention of moving his ass in my direction anytime soon.
So while there is love there, it means nothing if there is no action behind it.
I know many of us are going through our own relationshi
p issues, or life issues in general, and we all need to vent every now and again. And while sharing predictions is great, it usually is a fleeting feeling.
I hope everyone here knows I value their insights and I wish you all happiness and everything your hearts desire.
I need to let my heavy heart out for a bit. I want everyone else to know I will gladly be a shoulder if you need it

.
Be good today! Smile!