I actually do think that my ex has alot of NPD, I've done alot of research on it when a reader called my POI it once and I didn't know the meaning of the word. He matched up to almost all of them except cheating. He has hurt me alot and the way he hasn't shown any remorse for his actions says alot to me. I also notice a pattern with him from his last relationshi p before me and my relationshi p with him. He is always self victimising and it was all her fault, he was so good he did no wrong he is a really good partner. He hates admitting fault for things and for him to not come forward and apologise or check I'm okay after how things were last left is a reflector that he probably won't change in that area of never admitting to being wrong. That is unhealthy and an eggshell type of guy right there. I'm slowly realising now I'm moving on. Everything is always someone else's fault. Whether it's his Mum. Dad. Partner. The pet cat or dog or parrot or neighbour. It's never his fault. He could commit a murder and have blood on his hands and he would say someone framed him..
Something that he did which is classic narcissisti c behaviour is deflecting. So he would say for example, poor me. My ex was controlling with me, she didn't allow me to talk to any female friends and made me block them, I bought her some jewellery and it wasn't the right colour so she got mad. Well in our relationshi p he began to show signs like that with me. I have spoken to a reader who told me that this guy until he gets major help will not change and he's going to drag anyone down who comes into his life with him until he gets some serious therapy. She also picked up on his defective "it wasn't me" behaviour.
I was seeing a guy last year at a bad time. I won't go into details here but the guy hurt me and a month later he came back to apologise to me a month later for his actions. With this man, I never got that and he did cause me alot of hurt. And with saying sorry, you don't always have to say the words you're sorry. You can do things around it like send a text asking how someone is and acting like nothing has happened (which is what my ex did), if you owe them something to return it, and other ways around saying sorry like that. He probably is mostly immature, but I think alot of his behaviour is set in him. Even Kisha said there is something in his personality but she isn't sure what... Jealous and possessive people very rarely change. And people with low self esteem. I always will have a low self esteem even if I get married to the most handsome man with the loveliest house and lots of money. I am a firm believer that your childhood makes you. So if you have a shitty childhood, I think alot of the behaviour will set with the person like in your and our POI's case. Almost everyone I've met has got issued to this day because of how tough their childhood was. I think it's very easy to say to someone as a reader that the guy is immature and is that and this. Likewise I don't think all behaviour can be blamed on immaturity, I think lots of it is down to personality . I also think it can be dangerous when a woman could be dealing with a abusive guy for them to tell her he's just going through an immature phase. I think it is very hard (unless a psychologis t) to determine if it's immaturity or set in them.