Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
U reach out or sit back
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: sparky on November 15, 2018, 07:57:13 AM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 07:16:43 AM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on November 15, 2018, 06:50:09 AM ---I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
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There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
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I have watched many of these ex recovery guides. I really think some of it maybe true but definitely not all of it. They do not always take factors of the friends and family roles in the situation. Also to blanket a number of days on when you should reach out could be bad. Everyone heals differently and to even give a set number of days to reach out could cause more harm than good. When really you should trust your gut and determine if the time is right to reach out. That could be 6 months to a year even.
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this i agree with 100%.....
LAW1974:
wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
star1:
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 08:01:29 AM ---wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
--- End quote ---
But the issue is - sometimes men won't respond or reach out, even if they do care or miss you, it's hard. I can see why people call psychics, to get closure that they couldn't get.
sparky:
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 08:01:29 AM ---wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
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Still for most and not all. I will use my experience. My ex got mad about a snap her friend told her that I posted. Her friend said it had to do with her when it didn't. I found out a month later that my ex was still hurt from that snap. We didn't talk for that month. A whole month over a snap that she could have easily got over in 5 minutes if she talked to me about it. I even know my ex is still hurting from things prior to that to this day because she can't let go. I also know she hasn't moved on from me as the last contact in September she told me that she was "Trying to move on." One you don't tell your ex that and two you should be moved on if you are dating someone for 3 1/2 months at that point.
So I can agree that it for the majority it probably is true but I would still really look to see how your ex is behaving because it could be way longer for them. They might be that outlier percentage that wasn't in the study.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: star1 on November 15, 2018, 08:04:09 AM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 08:01:29 AM ---wow -- thats a long time.... the 45 days is for ppl who had a nasty break up and studies show that for most breakups 45-60 days is how long it takes almost all ppl to get over them. There are studies that show that like (I dont remember the statistics) but a high percentage of ppl only remember positive things about teir ex after the 30, 45 and 60 day marks... You learn all of this in Chris program...
But some ppl have really just moved on.... You dont really know if they're angry, scared of rejection, etc until you send that text and see what happens? I teeter back and forth on whether to use his program or listen to these readers?
--- End quote ---
But the issue is - sometimes men won't respond or reach out, even if they do care or miss you, it's hard. I can see why people call psychics, to get closure that they couldn't get.
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exactly, they won't reach out, or they've started dating someone else...who knows? I had reached out to the first POI I called psychics about and looking back, I regret it. I should have left it alone and then maybe I would have moved on much faster.
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