Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
U reach out or sit back
star1:
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 07:16:43 AM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on November 15, 2018, 06:50:09 AM ---I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
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There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
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That sounds pretty cool, it's more refreshing to hear a man himself give tips and explanations than some hippy dippy reader and this LOA stuff. I doubt mine would answer me though, which is why I'm having my last few readings and moving on. I might check this guy out, thanks!
Apalm831:
Yikes. Well, I’m past the 45 day mark
star1:
--- Quote from: Apalm831 on November 15, 2018, 07:35:53 AM ---Yikes. Well, I’m past the 45 day mark
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Ha ha.
sparky:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on November 15, 2018, 06:30:44 AM ---
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 04:30:19 AM ---oh - well i mean again if he ghosts me than i am no worse off.... in fact it actually tells me all these advisors telling me he's sitting at home thinking about me and waiting for me to reach out are all full of shit ;D....
I gotta think since he started viewing my stories and such he at least wants things to be peaceful between us? IDK.....
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it could be he's just curious of what you are up to..men can be real grudge holders..
as far as reaching out, that is up to you, but I would wait a bit and see if the urge is still there in a few days.
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Tell that to my ex. She has been holding a grudge on me from stuff that happened back in March/April even though she told me she forgave me in June. Her actions in September from not speaking to her for a good two months clearly showed she still is hanging onto a grudge.
sparky:
--- Quote from: LAW1974 on November 15, 2018, 07:16:43 AM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on November 15, 2018, 06:50:09 AM ---I think it's for different reasons. I think some readers aren't genuine, so they tell you not to reach out so that if he doesn't respond you don't keep calling the reader putting them on the spot. It's easier to say to somebody to wait for him to make the forts move and have a vulnerable person keep calling me asking when he'll come around. Some readers are old fashioned and think that the men should do all of the running as they're the "hunter gatherer". I have seen people be advised not to reach out to their ex and they did in the end and the ex told them that they were waiting for a text.. That's why I said follow your gut over any reader. Sit on it for a few days and if it doesn't budge - you have your answer.
--- End quote ---
There is a program by Chris Seiter called ex boyfriend recovery. He is a dating coach (and obviously a guy) -- His advice is NC for either 21, 30 or 45 days after break up (depending on situation) and then this whole book on texting him.... He claims that many men really do want to reach out to us (even when they broke up, esp if they really messed up) but they dont for fear of rejection or b/c they dont know if weve moved on.... A slew of different reasons. So you start with simple texts (like the one I stated above) hey I saw this and it reminded me of you and seeing where it goes.... Hes been really successful with the program!
--- End quote ---
I have watched many of these ex recovery guides. I really think some of it maybe true but definitely not all of it. They do not always take factors of the friends and family roles in the situation. Also to blanket a number of days on when you should reach out could be bad. Everyone heals differently and to even give a set number of days to reach out could cause more harm than good. When really you should trust your gut and determine if the time is right to reach out. That could be 6 months to a year even.
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