Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
THE END
HornetKick:
Here is a good description:
A red herring is something that is used to divert attention from the truth. In literature and cinema, a red herring is supposed to distract and mislead audiences so that there's a surprising twist that audiences didn't see coming.
I'm only trying to point out that it is ludicrous for herrings to show up in readings. Psychics are misleading enough as it is.
Sparkle002:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on June 07, 2020, 09:28:17 PM ---Here is a good description:
A red herring is something that is used to divert attention from the truth. In literature and cinema, a red herring is supposed to distract and mislead audiences so that there's a surprising twist that audiences didn't see coming.
I'm only trying to point out that it is ludicrous for herrings to show up in readings. Psychics are misleading enough as it is.
--- End quote ---
Oh wow!! Yes this sounds exactly what she was referring to and you’re right it is crazy for these herrings to even show up in readings- the crazier thing was the dude was actually the same dude! There isn’t a new guy therefore no real red herring. I
She used this term because the guy she predicted was someone i would be in a committed relationshi p and he would be SINGLE lol, and when she found he was actually married then that’s when the term popped up because thought for sure there was a single guy matching the same description that i would be in a relationshi p within March.
Nope. It was the same dude and he is still married. It would be interesting if he happened to get divorced by that time then the prediction would’ve rang true - because we definitely were very close romanticall y at that time.
These readers don’t know what they see sheesh- they are just a vessel to try to interpret the best they can
HornetKick:
Did he specificall y mention divorce, things weren't working out? Did he say he would consider that in any context? Saying and doing are two different things. I know you know that, but sometimes readers give scenarios based on the snippets of information they see and the way they interpret.
Have you broken it off with the guy? Well, I know you guys weren't technically on, but you were in a sense.
Sparkle002:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on June 07, 2020, 09:49:36 PM ---Did he specificall y mention divorce, things weren't working out? Did he say he would consider that in any context? Saying and doing are two different things. I know you know that, but sometimes readers give scenarios based on the snippets of information they see and the way they interpret.
Have you broken it off with the guy? Well, I know you guys weren't technically on, but you were in a sense.
--- End quote ---
Well as we grew closer around Feb, I told him I got readings. I told him that over a period of years - he was predicted to me, but no one ever saw him married. He wanted to know what else they said...I hesitated because most of them predicted divorce and that there were arguments going on in his house and he wasn't happy at home. So I told him before I tell you, just know I am uncomfortab le sharing this as I do not know what is going on - ok? So I told him what they said. He said that basically nothing like that was happening - especially with regard to divorce..an d with arguments, he felt like that was a normal part of a relationshi p. He didnt even have any intentions on divorce at all. He asked why they saw that? He said was it because of money, infidelity? I said you know I dont know! All they said was something about being unhappy and no connection - that was really it. When we had another conversatio n later - he again wanted to know what was going to happen next - and I mentioned some things and basically said that everyone said that he was not in love with his wife - and I said Im sure that isnt true (to him) - I said Im sure you love her I mean she is the mother of your kids - and he agreed (He never said it outright on his own tho).
HOWEVER, this is a man who 1) doesnt wear a ring 2) Never talks about his family ever at work 3) Doesnt have any pics of his fam in his office) and mentioned to me when we went out for the first time when we talked about my interests - I mentioned that Im not really big on marriage and whatever... he then said "marriage isnt all its cracked up to be". Honestly when he said that at that time, I thought it was a statement because I ddint know he was married.
So all in all he never told me that he would leave his wife, nor divorce or anything of that nature and as a matter of fact seemed quite surprised when I told him that. This is where Im like where are they all picking this up?!!! Out of another universe? lol . I just found it to be WEIRD...so many see this and when I talk to him - nothing. So either its true that he isnt or he could be lying to me because he really didnt know me - but he really seemed caught off guard.
I have broken it off emotionally - I havent outright said it - but Im just changing my energy. I never initiate communicati on with him - its allll him. So Ill just pull back - cant completely since he is a coworker but I wont engage in anything flirtatious because really thats the only thing we can do now anyway. We communicate everyday (outside of work) - only facetimed twice and havent seen him physicially in 3 months. So this isnt anything that has gone deep - yet everyone predicts this deep connection and him spending the night and moving out of house and separation - like REALLY
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: Sparkle002 on June 07, 2020, 10:17:11 PM ---
--- Quote from: HornetKick on June 07, 2020, 09:49:36 PM ---Did he specificall y mention divorce, things weren't working out? Did he say he would consider that in any context? Saying and doing are two different things. I know you know that, but sometimes readers give scenarios based on the snippets of information they see and the way they interpret.
Have you broken it off with the guy? Well, I know you guys weren't technically on, but you were in a sense.
--- End quote ---
Well as we grew closer around Feb, I told him I got readings. I told him that over a period of years - he was predicted to me, but no one ever saw him married. He wanted to know what else they said...I hesitated because most of them predicted divorce and that there were arguments going on in his house and he wasn't happy at home. So I told him before I tell you, just know I am uncomfortab le sharing this as I do not know what is going on - ok? So I told him what they said. He said that basically nothing like that was happening - especially with regard to divorce..an d with arguments, he felt like that was a normal part of a relationshi p. He didnt even have any intentions on divorce at all. He asked why they saw that? He said was it because of money, infidelity? I said you know I dont know! All they said was something about being unhappy and no connection - that was really it. When we had another conversatio n later - he again wanted to know what was going to happen next - and I mentioned some things and basically said that everyone said that he was not in love with his wife - and I said Im sure that isnt true (to him) - I said Im sure you love her I mean she is the mother of your kids - and he agreed (He never said it outright on his own tho).
HOWEVER, this is a man who 1) doesnt wear a ring 2) Never talks about his family ever at work 3) Doesnt have any pics of his fam in his office) and mentioned to me when we went out for the first time when we talked about my interests - I mentioned that Im not really big on marriage and whatever... he then said "marriage isnt all its cracked up to be". Honestly when he said that at that time, I thought it was a statement because I ddint know he was married.
So all in all he never told me that he would leave his wife, nor divorce or anything of that nature and as a matter of fact seemed quite surprised when I told him that. This is where Im like where are they all picking this up?!!! Out of another universe? lol . I just found it to be WEIRD...so many see this and when I talk to him - nothing. So either its true that he isnt or he could be lying to me because he really didnt know me - but he really seemed caught off guard.
I have broken it off emotionally - I havent outright said it - but Im just changing my energy. I never initiate communicati on with him - its allll him. So Ill just pull back - cant completely since he is a coworker but I wont engage in anything flirtatious because really thats the only thing we can do now anyway. We communicate everyday (outside of work) - only facetimed twice and havent seen him physicially in 3 months. So this isnt anything that has gone deep - yet everyone predicts this deep connection and him spending the night and moving out of house and separation - like REALLY
--- End quote ---
This is interesting, but the bolded portions don't put him in a good light. I mean men who don't want people to know they are married always try to keep their options open. That's how it looks, but it may not be the case. If he is now a jerk as you've mentioned perhaps he was in denial about wanting a divorce, perhaps the wife initiates it because there is a lot of complexitie s to divorces. idk, just saying stuff out loud. In addition, men like to have other options if they do want out of their current relationshi p...like he would start a romance long before he tells the wife, so if the wife is tired over whatever bs she is going through, he won't be out in the world alone.
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