cjean

[cj]

me and this guy fell for each other now I feel like all hope is lost for us. 

[positivethoughts]

Wow Cjean. I don't even know what to say except I can only imagine how much that must have hurt. Does he know how upset you are? Does he know you are in love with him?

[fm]

geez, like what you say in the other post, you have tons of guys waiting for u, maybe just have fun hang out and see what happens, enjoy yourself.

[cj]

well I haven't decided what I would do. But yeah in a way I have forgiven him. I need to for myself. It was draining my energy and happiness. I was letting someone else's problem become my own. It wasn't worth it. But forgiving doesn't mean being naive. Love doesn't come with an instruction manual. I have def moved on and fast! lol. You can forgive someone but that doesn't mean you should tolerate everything... We don't have to tolerate what people do just because we forgive them for doing it. Forgiving heals us personally. To tolerate everything only hurts us all in the long run.

Donna told me something so inspiring from her reading. She said: despite the seemingly difficult path  that you've chosen you have to keep going and be open for the unexpected that is against you. Ne calm and patient and its time to start expecting good news.

I know its hard to believe because none of us has come with our great stories of success, but whatever happens...I know that I have my power back. He does mean a lot to me and maybe I do look stupid for forgivinghim, but I am healing myself, and allowing this situation to empower me! Not him or her! So in  the end I will always come out victorious.
 

[cj]

 I went on a date with my sm for my bday on Fri the 12th (Abrielle tole me last month that he would pour his heart out on Feb13th. She was a day late but very right. Then Winter and Tatiana told me that on the 2nd week of Feb. he would tell me he cared about me but that his choices have made things complicated. And they were right! Tonight he definitely opened up and told me that he cared about me and he doesn't want to hurt me and he doesn't mean the messed up things he's said when we fought last week. He kissed me on my forehead and played with my hair while dishing his true feelings. So.........finally..not much but a start! + some real predictions that finally came true that I did not expect!

[cj]

ugh..today was a bad..bad, day...me and sm got into it again...Ive never said I love you per say but he knows how much I care for him...He is pissing me off...he keeps saying how much he misses me and how he wishes things could go back to how it was but how could they..they he says how he wants to be friends..blah blah..bc I told him I have a new boo...He's not too happy about that but too bad! Then he pissed me off by saying Im being a bit dramatic about the whole situation...can u believe it! I t old him Im changing my #....hes fucking selfish and insensitive and only wants whats best for himself...Im not gonna just stick around until you have this baby thing sorted out! FUCK HIM AND FUCK IT!!!!!!!`

[fm]

Sigh. Hang in there, it will pass, there will come a point where you will either mend it or break it. When it comes to emotions, I know it's hard. All of us are stuck in relationship problems and feeling so bad about it. I hope things will be better for u soon.

[positivethoughts]

cjean - I'm sure he misses you and wants you back. He is probably panicked that you are going to hit it off with this other guy and will say lots of stupid stuff to get you to stay with him - just as a friend or more. Interesting reaction to your boundaries and pull back..............He made his bed!!

Hang in there,
PT

[cj]

I miss him too...soo much...to the point where I cant even see him because I want him back so badly. Just seeing him would make me change my mind. For some reason he just doesn't get that. Im just down. I was thinking about changing my number. 

[cj]

I changed my cell phone number..I just can't and Im not ready to be his friend yet...I really need to just center myself for a while..this is still emotionally draining me. I feel this was my best option. He has no way of contacting me either...so I guess...he was right "I'm pushing him away" and...thats how it should be

[kirakira]

Good thinking with the number change.  Stay strong.
And you should post a pic so these people can see what a hottie you are!  I mean it, you need to be feeling good and let new love find it's way to you!!!  xoxo

[positivethoughts]

cjean - you changed your number? Wow - you are so strong. An inspiration really. I wonder if he is freaking out yet

[cj]

how do I post it?

pt: if he's not freaking out yet thats because he's only texted me and hasn't tried calling...but he will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he won't know what to do...better for me..now he'll see how it feels when you want something so bad and all you can do is let it go.

[positivethoughts]

wowwwwww. Keep us posted

[cj]

last Fri a week after we went on the date..he and I got into this big argument bc he is trying to make me think that Im being dramatic etc. So finally, I said you know what: you're selfish and you only think about yourself. You want your cake and eat too.

So I threatened that I would change my #...so Fri he texted me and said that he had an emergency and that his heart was giving him problems and if I could come helpe him....s oI ran over there thinking he was dying or something and when I get there theres nothing wrong...he just wanted to see me! Can you believe that!

So he tried to get all mushy and honestly it just seems like he's trying to hold me back...he wants me to stay but with no real commitment? and then  a baby??? Its just too much work and too hard for me to actually say ok. If he's not willing to bet on me, why should I bet on him?

So I told him that the best thing he could do is let me go if he cares about me bc its too hard....I cant take this, and Im not ready for the things I thought I was ready for. So..Im just having my own life right now..without him in it...

So I will def keep you posted and let you know what happens with him.

Seha says it wont matter if I change my # bc he will try and find me anyways. Well he needs to prove to me that he is there to be with me.