Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

I need help guys... :/

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bstalling:
We can only judge based on her posts here. And of course, we dont know the whole story. But, this thread is her asking for help, so I'm going to be honest and offer some help. Maybe the recent guy did present himself as a better option, but she clearly said of the first guy that she was forcing something without a firm foundation, but that didnt stop her from having a baby with him. Today,  shes clearly in a situation she dosent want to be in with her second baby in the way and her status in the relationship is not clear to her, even though it is to most of us. The only behavior she can change is her own, so its not ignorant to say she should have more responsibility over how things go in her life. At the minimum, she should have assured commitment and engagement before getting pregnant. I mean, he wont even commit to photos with her right now! 

But do you think most any of these psychics are willing to tell it as it is, even just based on the facts right now? NO! The only one that seems to do it is Leanne, and it seems shes mostly right with those particular outcomes! We go get readings for hope, when really we should get a reality check and see that things arnt going to always happen as we want them to, and just sometimes we could have applied a better strategy in our lives to get where we want to go.

josh34:

--- Quote from: bstalling on June 21, 2019, 06:08:42 AM ---We can only judge based on her posts here. And of course, we dont know the whole story. Maybe the recent guy did present himself as a better option, but she clearly said of the first guy that she was forcing something without a firm foundation, but that didnt stop her from having a baby with him. Today,  shes clearly in a situation she dosent want to be in with her second baby in the way and her status in the relationship is not clear to her, even though it is to most of us. The only behavior she can change is her own, so its not ignorant to say she should have more responsibility over how things go in her life. At the minimum, she should have assured commitment and engagement before getting pregnant. I mean, he wont even commit to photos with her right now! 




But do you think most any of these psychics are willing to tell it as it is, even just based on the facts right now? NO! The only one that seems to do it is Leanne, and it seems shes mostly right with those particular outcomes! We go get readings for hope, when really we should get a reality check and see that things arnt going to always happen as we want them to, and just sometimes we could have applied a better strategy in our lives to get where we want to go.

--- End quote ---

-Exactly. So why judge at all, if you don't know the whole situation? That's really ignorant.
-Again, your point? You don't know the whole story. To take bits and pieces and use what's written as connotation for your judgement isn't a very mature, smart, nor a sensitive thing to do. She's clearly really upset. So be sensitive.
-Again. A very rude and ignorant assumption to make. It's not "clear" to anyone but her. Only she knows the truth. What's clear to you, is the ignorant assumption and foolish judgements you're making. And that's a very sour thing to do. You shouldn't assume someone's story, when you don't even know the person, or their reasons behind the things they've done.
-Again, sure it is. You do NOT know what's going on in her life. You can't simply assume "she has to control her life better". You don't know anything about her life. Really, you're coming across incredibly rude, and incredibly insensitive.
-Really? Should she have? There's more than one way to do things, there's more than one reason as to why someone may or may not do something. Maybe she really thinks he's the one, and he may be. MANY these days have a kid prior to getting engages, when they've got what they consider to be a loving relationship with somebody. Get out of here with your "engagement or don't have kids" mindset. Really, how small-minded of you...

You need to stop with being so damn ignorant and judging of this person. ESPECIALLY when you don't even understand the situation. How closed minded are you, to assume that things are either black or white? How many assumptions must you make about someone who's going through hell? Can you not see how rude and insensitive you're being via your posts? Can't you see they're going through a rough time?!

Unless you're going to reply without judgement and actually attempt to be kind, you need to take a step back. Like, right now.

bstalling:
We need to judge the facts as she has presented them, and they are not doing her any favors. She needs straight talk, Josh, not hope and lies from psychics. Which is something I know you don't like. A lot of people want to hear fairy stories it seems....

Even if I'm mistaken about her, I've given good advice and support here. At least, something for her to think about. 99 percent of psychics wont do that for her, even when charging her money.

josh34:

--- Quote from: bstalling on June 21, 2019, 06:33:29 AM ---We need to judge the facts as she has presented them, and they are not doing her any favors. She needs straight talk, Josh, not hope and lies from psychics. Which is something I know you don't like. A lot of people want to hear fairy stories it seems....

Even if I'm mistaken about her, I've given good advice and support here. At least, something for her to think about. 99 percent of psychics wont do that for her, even when charging her money.

--- End quote ---

We don't need to judge anyone or anything about anyone prior to understanding the whole story. That's not your place, nor is that fair to her. You seem very geared toward "bad outcomes" and pessimsim regarding psychics' outcomes. You havent had great experiences with predictions passing, we get it. But a lot of us have, and I'd say there's reason to be optimistic. I'd say that holding onto hope and being optimistic about life is a blessing. Reputable readers with decent track records regarding predictions are giving positive outcomes, so I'd say theres hope. To go straight to "they're lying and giving false hope" is extremely pessimistic and negative of you. Geez. You automatically assume the worst dont you?  This has absolutely nothing to do with "fairytale readings". Its clear that you have a VERY negative outlook on psychics, even if they've been shown to have a gift regarding predictions passing. I'm sorry that you're too pessimistic and negative to see things in a balanced light. If you're going to be negative, and assume the worst, keep it to yourself, or in this case, leave that out. We dont know if theyll be right or wrong in her case. They very well could be correct for her, as they have been for many. Your "advice" is filled with judgement and insensitivity and you need to fix that before attempting to give "advice". What she needs right now is a shoulder to cry on. She needs support, and people who will be there for her. You can "be real" with her, without the pessimism, without the unnecessart and insensitive judgements.

 But i will say, that what we can agree on, is, that in the meantime, she should focus on herself and do things that make her smile. Who knows how this will turn out? She should do things that she enjoys, and things that make her happy. I think we can both agree on this.

Natashanyc:

--- Quote from: username1111 on June 21, 2019, 05:20:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: Natashanyc on June 21, 2019, 12:42:47 AM ---I WAS NOT SAYIN ABORTION.... PLEASE DONT ASSUME BECAUSE YOU MAY BE MISINTERPRETING... WHAT I MEAN IS CLEAR :

Sorry if I didn’t say this correctly but I see why u think I’m insensitive... anywho ... what I’m saying is WHY HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT COMMITMENT WORTHY/READY ...at my age and I’m not old but I would like to think everyone is grown here and knows what we risk by sexing raw . I am in a relationship now and I make sure I’m on birth control because I’m not only not ready but THIS MAN HAS TO SHOW ME THAT HE IS THE KIND OF QUALITY TO BE ON MY LIFE WITH THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY ALSO HE HAS TO SHOW HES GOING TO COMMIT BEFORE I EVEN THINK TO HAVE THE BABY CONVERSATION...I think that because I watched my mom go thru sht As well as my sister and friends... I make SURE I don’t repeat a common cycle. Not only that ppl have made it normal to ask for commitment AFTER having a mans child... I’m not gonna go heavy into that but I never said nothing about abortion so HOLD YOUR THUMBS... I’m just not willing to be a statistic as a black woman I have enough obstacles on my path and I’m not going to willingly create one for myself.

--- End quote ---

I am sorry to come back to that ridiculous discussion again but @Natashanyc you really need to stop SHOUTING and being judgmental.

Are you preaching the "don't want baby? don't have sex then" kind of shit?? Do you know that pregnancies can also happen when one is having some control of some sort?
Sometimes accidents / surprises do happen.
I was pregnant twice in my life, the first time, I was 19 and in a relationship that was just 2-3 months old - I just got my birth control renewed but I had to wait the beginning of my cycle to start taking it. I kept protecting myself except for that ONE and ONLY night at the very end of my cycle, and I got pregnant. Thats not supposed to happen, right? well guess what, it does happen. Things are not as black and white as you are trying to define them so badly.
Some baby conversations happen after the baby is on his way, or even, already in your life, and not before. You can plan well a ton of shit, big chances that they will turn in different directions and you will have to adapt. I am afraid that's the nature of life.
Also, for that second pregnancy, I was on BIRTH CONTROL when it happened. Yes, girl, birth control are not 100% safe.
I was faced twice to that very difficult choice to make, I had one abortion, and a beautiful daughter who is now a grown up. Don't be judgmental, chill for real. People go through different challenges and have different solutions / perspectives / courage / desire to overcome it.

If it's not your story and you cannot relate to it, then let it go... don't come to shout at people and give them lessons, its not helping anything, it just hurts!
Especially not on a thread someone opened to receive guidance and support.

--- End quote ---


I was putting caps to highlight my question NOT to yell. It’s always internet people who assume everything but the truth. Don’t assume u know me or know my angle. As someone said I was asking about poor dating strategies and pointing out these psychics can’t help this. Prepare for a new baby not new love... isn’t that the priority? Op asked for help and I did that. I never asked for none of my post to be liked. I too was once pregnant and miscarried by a man who wasn’t sht being YOUNG ABD DUMB BUT I DODGED A BULLET WITH A HEAVY PRICE TO PAY, I wouldn’t want to go thru that again sooooo again my post come with experience. That was the wake up call to not even play with having kids until I was READY and I’m EQUIP with what a new life needs....I’m sorry but when I was goin through that the last thing I was worried about was a new love interest. Psychics saw us ride into the sunset and none of that happened.this was years ago during that calling addiction phase . Psychics can be mentally draining and can be manipulative so u can keep calling. Y’all so busy trying to find fault with what I post that y’all forget I’m not the one on this thread who asked to be helped so your opinions about me are not needed or taken.... BUT the person who did ask for help is still hurt and none of what ur saying to ME is helping HER. Maybe u missed the part where I said this is the internet but don’t ever think I care about ppl here trying to attack me because I could care LESS DUE TO THE FACT I HAVE A REAL LIFE outside of this forum.



Get her the help she asked for . If u want to bash me maybe start a clubhouse or new thread for that but this right here ain’t it hun lol I can PROMISE YOU IDC lol

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