Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
I need help guys... :/
Fidget1028:
--- Quote from: bstalling on June 21, 2019, 02:43:34 AM ---
--- Quote from: Natashanyc on June 21, 2019, 12:53:38 AM ---In a nutshell and idc if we agree or not ....but all men show u signs that they are either stand up guys or really ain’t sht EARLY ON IF U PAY ATTENTION. It took me hundreds of dollars in psychics and a reality check to understand that. Problem is WE women will DISREGUARD alllllll of the SIGNS that maybe subtle or plain as day and call psychics or stay in La la land until we can’t bare more hurt. Support her with real advice ....don’t tell her wat Madam FooFoo online is probably telling her for 19.99 a min ! I take pride in being that friend that will always tell it how it is and this forum won’t stop that.
To add... she said “he’s doing his thing” that sound like a man who ain’t sht and don’t value u....sounds like : SIGNS
Closer to u but also doing his thing? These psychics she been to are feeding her nonsense
READ HER POST AND GIVE HER THE REALITY THAT I WISH THESE ADVISORS WOULD GIVE
And josh thank u I appreciate that !!!
--- End quote ---
I didnt want to take it there, but I agree. And OP DID ask for help. Even if the father is involved, it dosent sound like he wants to be involved with OP long term. Hes simply having a baby with her from what it sounds. Him doing his own thing and saying NO to the maternity shoot should be huge enough signs. OP, if you are happy with your baby, thats fine. But please dont invest into what these readers are saying. They may be talking about a completely different person or a whole other situation years away.You wont know until time passes, so in the mean time, just do what is best for you. And quit spending money on these readers when you cant afford it. Its almost never worth it.
--- End quote ---
I totally agree. He doesn't sound either willing or ready for a relationship. And that's ok. The parents don't have to be in a relationship with each other to have a relationship with the child. Save your money and focus on yourself and your baby. He may not be POI material, but he may step up as a parent and that's a blessing in itself. And if not, the you'll love that baby enough for the both of you.
Penelope:
Hi there. Take this for what it’s worth but I learned the hard way that even the psychics who connected with me on other things, including Abundant Visions and Cookie (btw, Jenna was so off on her reading for me!), read the situation completely wrong for my POI and I. Please do not spend any more time and energy on what the readings mean. What will happen will happen and no amount of psychic reading will be able to help you look into the future clearly. Even if the readings were right, you won’t know until it happens so please spend your valuable time focusing on you and your precious little one. I know you know this (just as I knew this) but it’s worth repeating. You and your baby deserve more than this! You are having a baby and it will need it’s mama to be 110%!
username1111:
--- Quote from: Natashanyc on June 21, 2019, 12:42:47 AM ---I WAS NOT SAYIN ABORTION.... PLEASE DONT ASSUME BECAUSE YOU MAY BE MISINTERPRETING... WHAT I MEAN IS CLEAR :
Sorry if I didn’t say this correctly but I see why u think I’m insensitive... anywho ... what I’m saying is WHY HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT COMMITMENT WORTHY/READY ...at my age and I’m not old but I would like to think everyone is grown here and knows what we risk by sexing raw . I am in a relationship now and I make sure I’m on birth control because I’m not only not ready but THIS MAN HAS TO SHOW ME THAT HE IS THE KIND OF QUALITY TO BE ON MY LIFE WITH THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY ALSO HE HAS TO SHOW HES GOING TO COMMIT BEFORE I EVEN THINK TO HAVE THE BABY CONVERSATION...I think that because I watched my mom go thru sht As well as my sister and friends... I make SURE I don’t repeat a common cycle. Not only that ppl have made it normal to ask for commitment AFTER having a mans child... I’m not gonna go heavy into that but I never said nothing about abortion so HOLD YOUR THUMBS... I’m just not willing to be a statistic as a black woman I have enough obstacles on my path and I’m not going to willingly create one for myself.
--- End quote ---
I am sorry to come back to that ridiculous discussion again but @Natashanyc you really need to stop SHOUTING and being judgmental.
Are you preaching the "don't want baby? don't have sex then" kind of shit?? Do you know that pregnancies can also happen when one is having some control of some sort?
Sometimes accidents / surprises do happen.
I was pregnant twice in my life, the first time, I was 19 and in a relationship that was just 2-3 months old - I just got my birth control renewed but I had to wait the beginning of my cycle to start taking it. I kept protecting myself except for that ONE and ONLY night at the very end of my cycle, and I got pregnant. Thats not supposed to happen, right? well guess what, it does happen. Things are not as black and white as you are trying to define them so badly.
Some baby conversations happen after the baby is on his way, or even, already in your life, and not before. You can plan well a ton of shit, big chances that they will turn in different directions and you will have to adapt. I am afraid that's the nature of life.
Also, for that second pregnancy, I was on BIRTH CONTROL when it happened. Yes, girl, birth control are not 100% safe.
I was faced twice to that very difficult choice to make, I had one abortion, and a beautiful daughter who is now a grown up. Don't be judgmental, chill for real. People go through different challenges and have different solutions / perspectives / courage / desire to overcome it.
If it's not your story and you cannot relate to it, then let it go... don't come to shout at people and give them lessons, its not helping anything, it just hurts!
Especially not on a thread someone opened to receive guidance and support.
bstalling:
--- Quote from: username1111 on June 21, 2019, 05:20:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: Natashanyc on June 21, 2019, 12:42:47 AM ---I WAS NOT SAYIN ABORTION.... PLEASE DONT ASSUME BECAUSE YOU MAY BE MISINTERPRETING... WHAT I MEAN IS CLEAR :
Sorry if I didn’t say this correctly but I see why u think I’m insensitive... anywho ... what I’m saying is WHY HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT COMMITMENT WORTHY/READY ...at my age and I’m not old but I would like to think everyone is grown here and knows what we risk by sexing raw . I am in a relationship now and I make sure I’m on birth control because I’m not only not ready but THIS MAN HAS TO SHOW ME THAT HE IS THE KIND OF QUALITY TO BE ON MY LIFE WITH THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY ALSO HE HAS TO SHOW HES GOING TO COMMIT BEFORE I EVEN THINK TO HAVE THE BABY CONVERSATION...I think that because I watched my mom go thru sht As well as my sister and friends... I make SURE I don’t repeat a common cycle. Not only that ppl have made it normal to ask for commitment AFTER having a mans child... I’m not gonna go heavy into that but I never said nothing about abortion so HOLD YOUR THUMBS... I’m just not willing to be a statistic as a black woman I have enough obstacles on my path and I’m not going to willingly create one for myself.
--- End quote ---
I am sorry to come back to that ridiculous discussion again but @Natashanyc you really need to stop SHOUTING and being judgmental.
Are you preaching the "don't want baby? don't have sex then" kind of shit?? Do you know that pregnancies can also happen when one is having some control of some sort?
Sometimes accidents / surprises do happen.
I was pregnant twice in my life, the first time, I was 19 and in a relationship that was just 2-3 months old - I just got my birth control renewed but I had to wait the beginning of my cycle to start taking it. I kept protecting myself except for that ONE and ONLY night at the very end of my cycle, and I got pregnant. Thats not supposed to happen, right? well guess what, it does happen. Things are not as black and white as you are trying to define them so badly.
Some baby conversations happen after the baby is on his way, or even, already in your life, and not before. You can plan well a ton of shit, big chances that they will turn in different directions and you will have to adapt. I am afraid that's the nature of life.
Also, for that second pregnancy, I was on BIRTH CONTROL when it happened. Yes, girl, birth control are not 100% safe.
I was faced twice to that very difficult choice to make, I had one abortion, and a beautiful daughter who is now a grown up. Don't be judgmental, chill for real. People go through different challenges and have different solutions / perspectives / courage / desire to overcome it.
If it's not your story and you cannot relate to it, then let it go... don't come to shout at people and give them lessons, its not helping anything, it just hurts!
Especially not on a thread someone opened to receive guidance and support.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, we get that and all. But looking at the OPs post history, this is her second baby so she has two baby daddies where both guys were not commitment oriented.. So, its safe to say she has a bad pattern here that she needs to break. If shes wondering about commitment after she is already pregnant, she applied poor dating strategies. Point, blank period. No psychic can help that. Maybe things will change for the better down the line with this new guy, but its really out of her control now since she is invested and is in a position where shes basically waiting on the guy to come around. I see this behavior again and again with young women today, it has to stop. Its not being judgemental, especially when she is asking for help here. So many of us come here and call psychics when we really needed a firm hand at home during our formative years as well as nurturing friends and family....and a therapist.
josh34:
--- Quote from: bstalling on June 21, 2019, 05:42:30 AM ---
--- Quote from: username1111 on June 21, 2019, 05:20:53 AM ---
--- Quote from: Natashanyc on June 21, 2019, 12:42:47 AM ---I WAS NOT SAYIN ABORTION.... PLEASE DONT ASSUME BECAUSE YOU MAY BE MISINTERPRETING... WHAT I MEAN IS CLEAR :
Sorry if I didn’t say this correctly but I see why u think I’m insensitive... anywho ... what I’m saying is WHY HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT COMMITMENT WORTHY/READY ...at my age and I’m not old but I would like to think everyone is grown here and knows what we risk by sexing raw . I am in a relationship now and I make sure I’m on birth control because I’m not only not ready but THIS MAN HAS TO SHOW ME THAT HE IS THE KIND OF QUALITY TO BE ON MY LIFE WITH THAT KIND OF RESPONSIBILITY ALSO HE HAS TO SHOW HES GOING TO COMMIT BEFORE I EVEN THINK TO HAVE THE BABY CONVERSATION...I think that because I watched my mom go thru sht As well as my sister and friends... I make SURE I don’t repeat a common cycle. Not only that ppl have made it normal to ask for commitment AFTER having a mans child... I’m not gonna go heavy into that but I never said nothing about abortion so HOLD YOUR THUMBS... I’m just not willing to be a statistic as a black woman I have enough obstacles on my path and I’m not going to willingly create one for myself.
--- End quote ---
I am sorry to come back to that ridiculous discussion again but @Natashanyc you really need to stop SHOUTING and being judgmental.
Are you preaching the "don't want baby? don't have sex then" kind of shit?? Do you know that pregnancies can also happen when one is having some control of some sort?
Sometimes accidents / surprises do happen.
I was pregnant twice in my life, the first time, I was 19 and in a relationship that was just 2-3 months old - I just got my birth control renewed but I had to wait the beginning of my cycle to start taking it. I kept protecting myself except for that ONE and ONLY night at the very end of my cycle, and I got pregnant. Thats not supposed to happen, right? well guess what, it does happen. Things are not as black and white as you are trying to define them so badly.
Some baby conversations happen after the baby is on his way, or even, already in your life, and not before. You can plan well a ton of shit, big chances that they will turn in different directions and you will have to adapt. I am afraid that's the nature of life.
Also, for that second pregnancy, I was on BIRTH CONTROL when it happened. Yes, girl, birth control are not 100% safe.
I was faced twice to that very difficult choice to make, I had one abortion, and a beautiful daughter who is now a grown up. Don't be judgmental, chill for real. People go through different challenges and have different solutions / perspectives / courage / desire to overcome it.
If it's not your story and you cannot relate to it, then let it go... don't come to shout at people and give them lessons, its not helping anything, it just hurts!
Especially not on a thread someone opened to receive guidance and support.
--- End quote ---
Yeah, we get that and all. But looking at the OPs post history, this is her second baby so she has two baby daddies where both guys were not commitment oriented.. So, its safe to say she has a bad pattern here that she needs to break. If shes wondering about commitment after she is already pregnant, she applied poor dating strategies. Point, blank period. No psychic can help that. Maybe things will change for the better down the line with this new guy, but its really out of her control now since she is invested and is in a position where shes basically waiting on the guy to come around. I see this behavior again and again with young women today, it has to stop. Its not being judgemental, especially when she is asking for help here. So many of us come here and call psychics when we really needed a firm hand at home during our formative years as well as nurturing friends and family....and a therapist.
--- End quote ---
I think that's a very unfair assumption to make. Maybe the issue isn't with her. In fact it's not. If both males aren't good individuals, then it's with the two males. We can't know somebody 100%. Ever. Love and emotions are complicated, and you cannot fault her for this. Maybe this guy genuinely appeared to be a better man, and treated her well. Who knows what her story is, or how the second dad is? No one knows, so it's unfair to say that it's something that "she has to change", and a habit that "she has to break". That's very ignorant, if you don't know the full story. Just want to put in my two cents here. I don't think that's very fair to say it's some "habit" that she needs to break, when you don't know the story, or aren't in her shoes. Maybe it has nothing to even do with her, in the sense that any reasons of "backing off" from the men, might be completely comprehensible from an outsider's point of view, or might be due to something outside of her control. Maybe there are outside factors which we don't know. We don't know the reasons, so you shouldn't make that assumption. Also, she did say that they were getting closer. So I'd steer clear from making such an assumption, when the individual is having such a rough time, and is in need of support. That's not fair to her, and quite honestly, is a little rude, and insensitive.
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