Having had my share of depression and anxiety, I can relate to this...for me, it’s usually a low level sadness and apathy, even just wanting to magically fade away off the planet somehow. Ironically, the one time I felt EXACTLY as you described was when I took a short course of an antidepressant - I was so emotionally numb and dead inside while taking it that it was scary - as you mentioned, these types of drugs can have profound effects.
I don’t know you, SB, but I am genuinely concerned about you, especially if you are on the verge of an eating disorder (which I totally get the need for control - that coupled with a fear of the unknown is why I consult psychics). I don’t want to overstep my bounds at all, but I’m going to PM you if that’s ok...
Please take care of yourself ❤️
Oh, and I totally want to be invited to that mock funeral for your ex lol 😎