Author Topic: Mental wellness  (Read 735 times)

Offline SomethingBetter

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Mental wellness
« on: June 19, 2019, 03:48:32 AM »
I hope I’m not offending anyone by starting this topic but I think it’s important and not even about the psychics.

I stopped reading almost a decade ago and lived a totally fine life taking each day as it came. I still had anxiety about things but I do have a diagnosis of GAD so that’s to be expected. But it wasn’t reading related.

Through my observations many (not all) but many who get readings tend to have issues with anxiety, wanting control, feeling out of control, wishing to steer life their way, what have you.

I have seen some posts that have startled me. Posts where people have been suicidal, had suicidal ideation, couldn’t get out of bed, etc. I am not judging. If anything my heart goes out to those individuals and I totally empathize.

So I wanted to start this thread about mental wellness and thought we could share some things like a group therapy session. I will admit I’m too embarrassed to talk about my psychic calling to my T or P-doc.

I DO NOT want to make this thread about readings or psychics or anything like that.

I want to make this about US and how we can encourage each other and even suggest things we do in our personal lives that ground us.

Remember, no talk of readings or psychics. Just us and our wellness.

I’ll start off. I love affirmations. I use to hate them and found them hokey. But you know what? Seeing on my mirror “Nothing is permanent, you can always leave or change,” encourages me. Telling myself that I had a shitty day but I’m a bad ass and one bad day doesn’t change that actually helps.

So what say you? What do you or can you do for your own mental wellness?

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2019, 03:52:56 AM »
And I want to share with you guys my favorite poem that gets me through the tough spots. If I was a tattoo person I’d totally get this on my body, I love it that much!

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi

Offline dascallie

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2019, 09:18:15 AM »
I've had a bit of an awareness on why/how I got so strung out on irrationally throwing my money away on readings.

It's not even so much about predictions.

It's about trying to 'feel' his aliveness in my life.

I missed him so desperately. And his signal has been cut off so profoundly, as if he is in some stark, distant outpost on the other side of the galaxy.

So the contradictory muddled messages from psychics acted as my morse code of his living.

I think this last heartbreak really was devastating to me unlike anything I'd experienced before.

The love happened upon me--and to him, he said--so unexpectedly, late in life for us both, that we were caught up in a tornado of kindredness, chemistry, depth, sheer joy, to be together.

Shocked and happy to be so 'linked". Even after being together for sometime, he'd spontaneously call and say "I can't wait to see you!" He was my Prince.

I loved him so much, our eyes locked when we'd dance, fast or slow--almost transcendent, it was crazy. It traveled all over.

His frequent easy, infectious laugh I loved, his wit, we were kids, we would fall down laughing. We'd adore each other. BEST friends.
We talked about everything.

The sex was so exciting, so connected and so close it was almost scary in its intimacy.

His eyes only for me, and my eyes only for him, he said he'd never 'let me go'...we were together in love so deep "always and forever"---flowers almost every day--we'd sing in the car, we'd sing in bed, we'd hike, we'd boat, we'd ramble around in wacky exploring, we'd delve into faith-based and intellectual discovery. about everything.

We were lively, we'd share projects, creativity, discuss strategies for and about each of our work. We'd try to give each other 'soft landings' when things got challenging.

Miraculously, we'd found 'our person'.  This late in life.

And then like a deadening, unrelenting, obliterating storm, it was GONE. In a blink of the eye it swept across the landscape and nothing was left standing.

It was ripped away so suddenly, so inexplicably, it felt like I was demolished at the cellular level.

I did not chase him, it was too ephemeral to try and cling to. How could I force soap bubbles to stay in my hands?
I had no power to alter anything.

His extinguishing of it made no sense. But he made a searing, icy, industrialized choice to kill it.

So.

After 18 months of a few fits and starts at some vague, hollow, ghost-like reconnections mostly by him, contact is now dried up.

I think I sought our these readers as my sad way of 'speaking' to him.

Maintaining a thread to the one I felt was part of me.

I labored in a sad delusion.
I won't ever chase him.

That would be the saddest, most rock bottom delusion of all.

He is an iridescent beautiful fleeting soap bubble no longer in existence.

Maybe it was never meaningful to him, maybe it wasn't what he said, how he behaved.

Maybe he was playing a part in a movie in his head, entertaining himself. Maybe he just got bored and wanted to change the channel.
Maybe I will never know.

But I would be extending my pain, my 'emotional illness" trying to clutch at what does not appear to exist any longer.

I have to move on.

But I miss him so much.

I wanted to feel him. His "soul".

So I put myself here, addicted to the very unsound filter/frequency of psychics--like a ham radio with a broken transmission, in a desperate attempt to feel him close.

I'm changing now.

Life does find a way.

Even though hearts will never quite be the same.

I'm determined to have a good life and hopefully find love again.

I'm going to stop the bleeding of my money.

It's self destructive, killing me.

I am going to ditch the sadness, unblock the sustaining river of joy and possibilities and 'fake it til I make it'.

With God and all that is vibrant in life, I know this is the way back.





« Last Edit: June 19, 2019, 09:42:43 AM by dascallie »

Offline doubleoh8

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2019, 02:32:51 PM »
I've had a bit of an awareness on why/how I got so strung out on irrationally throwing my money away on readings.

It's not even so much about predictions.

It's about trying to 'feel' his aliveness in my life.

I missed him so desperately. And his signal has been cut off so profoundly, as if he is in some stark, distant outpost on the other side of the galaxy.

So the contradictory muddled messages from psychics acted as my morse code of his living.

I think this last heartbreak really was devastating to me unlike anything I'd experienced before.

The love happened upon me--and to him, he said--so unexpectedly, late in life for us both, that we were caught up in a tornado of kindredness, chemistry, depth, sheer joy, to be together.

Shocked and happy to be so 'linked". Even after being together for sometime, he'd spontaneously call and say "I can't wait to see you!" He was my Prince.

I loved him so much, our eyes locked when we'd dance, fast or slow--almost transcendent, it was crazy. It traveled all over.

His frequent easy, infectious laugh I loved, his wit, we were kids, we would fall down laughing. We'd adore each other. BEST friends.
We talked about everything.

The sex was so exciting, so connected and so close it was almost scary in its intimacy.

His eyes only for me, and my eyes only for him, he said he'd never 'let me go'...we were together in love so deep "always and forever"---flowers almost every day--we'd sing in the car, we'd sing in bed, we'd hike, we'd boat, we'd ramble around in wacky exploring, we'd delve into faith-based and intellectual discovery. about everything.

We were lively, we'd share projects, creativity, discuss strategies for and about each of our work. We'd try to give each other 'soft landings' when things got challenging.

Miraculously, we'd found 'our person'.  This late in life.

And then like a deadening, unrelenting, obliterating storm, it was GONE. In a blink of the eye it swept across the landscape and nothing was left standing.

It was ripped away so suddenly, so inexplicably, it felt like I was demolished at the cellular level.

I did not chase him, it was too ephemeral to try and cling to. How could I force soap bubbles to stay in my hands?
I had no power to alter anything.

His extinguishing of it made no sense. But he made a searing, icy, industrialized choice to kill it.

So.

After 18 months of a few fits and starts at some vague, hollow, ghost-like reconnections mostly by him, contact is now dried up.

I think I sought our these readers as my sad way of 'speaking' to him.

Maintaining a thread to the one I felt was part of me.

I labored in a sad delusion.
I won't ever chase him.

That would be the saddest, most rock bottom delusion of all.

He is an iridescent beautiful fleeting soap bubble no longer in existence.

Maybe it was never meaningful to him, maybe it wasn't what he said, how he behaved.

Maybe he was playing a part in a movie in his head, entertaining himself. Maybe he just got bored and wanted to change the channel.
Maybe I will never know.

But I would be extending my pain, my 'emotional illness" trying to clutch at what does not appear to exist any longer.

I have to move on.

But I miss him so much.

I wanted to feel him. His "soul".

So I put myself here, addicted to the very unsound filter/frequency of psychics--like a ham radio with a broken transmission, in a desperate attempt to feel him close.

I'm changing now.

Life does find a way.

Even though hearts will never quite be the same.

I'm determined to have a good life and hopefully find love again.

I'm going to stop the bleeding of my money.

It's self destructive, killing me.

I am going to ditch the sadness, unblock the sustaining river of joy and possibilities and 'fake it til I make it'.

With God and all that is vibrant in life, I know this is the way back.

Are you a writer @dascallie? If not, you should be. I am ... and am trying to write about my experience with love, loss and psychic addiction. You've put me to shame. Your post is beautiful and I know it must reflect the beauty of a heart and spirit that created it. Thank you for sharing.

Offline dascallie

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2019, 07:10:09 PM »
Aww, you're so nice!
I do some writing professionally but more along the line of ad copy  ::)

This is just a rambling flow of consciousness as I try to reconcile the battering my heart AND my wallet has taken....

josh34

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2019, 09:17:23 PM »
I hope I’m not offending anyone by starting this topic but I think it’s important and not even about the psychics.

I stopped reading almost a decade ago and lived a totally fine life taking each day as it came. I still had anxiety about things but I do have a diagnosis of GAD so that’s to be expected. But it wasn’t reading related.

Through my observations many (not all) but many who get readings tend to have issues with anxiety, wanting control, feeling out of control, wishing to steer life their way, what have you.

I have seen some posts that have startled me. Posts where people have been suicidal, had suicidal ideation, couldn’t get out of bed, etc. I am not judging. If anything my heart goes out to those individuals and I totally empathize.

So I wanted to start this thread about mental wellness and thought we could share some things like a group therapy session. I will admit I’m too embarrassed to talk about my psychic calling to my T or P-doc.

I DO NOT want to make this thread about readings or psychics or anything like that.

I want to make this about US and how we can encourage each other and even suggest things we do in our personal lives that ground us.

Remember, no talk of readings or psychics. Just us and our wellness.

I’ll start off. I love affirmations. I use to hate them and found them hokey. But you know what? Seeing on my mirror “Nothing is permanent, you can always leave or change,” encourages me. Telling myself that I had a shitty day but I’m a bad ass and one bad day doesn’t change that actually helps.

So what say you? What do you or can you do for your own mental wellness?

I'd agree with this assumption! We often go to psychics to find a way to "get a grip" on the "out of control" areas of our lives, and find answers. And when things are out of control, there's often anxiety and stress from it. Now of course, like you said, i cannot say that every single case leads to psychic-sprees. (How about a birthday party? Haha) But I'd say the majority factor is this.

I love this idea for a thread. It makes me happy to see such care!

What helps me when I'm really stressed? I watch a comedy show to movie. I do have some very unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drinking a lot, due to the worries, but, another thing that actually can help is trying to convince myself to not only live in the moment, and recognize that I'm present, but also to meditate, and literally "feel" the anxiety, and "make room for it". Accept that it's there. Not trying to fight it because when we obsess over it, or argue back toward that anxious part of ourselves, or try and figure things out, it comes back stronger. So just even allowing that anxiety to be there, and recognizing it as "anxiety" can do wonders (: Also mediation.

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2019, 10:59:04 PM »
I hope I’m not offending anyone by starting this topic but I think it’s important and not even about the psychics.

I stopped reading almost a decade ago and lived a totally fine life taking each day as it came. I still had anxiety about things but I do have a diagnosis of GAD so that’s to be expected. But it wasn’t reading related.

Through my observations many (not all) but many who get readings tend to have issues with anxiety, wanting control, feeling out of control, wishing to steer life their way, what have you.

I have seen some posts that have startled me. Posts where people have been suicidal, had suicidal ideation, couldn’t get out of bed, etc. I am not judging. If anything my heart goes out to those individuals and I totally empathize.

So I wanted to start this thread about mental wellness and thought we could share some things like a group therapy session. I will admit I’m too embarrassed to talk about my psychic calling to my T or P-doc.

I DO NOT want to make this thread about readings or psychics or anything like that.

I want to make this about US and how we can encourage each other and even suggest things we do in our personal lives that ground us.

Remember, no talk of readings or psychics. Just us and our wellness.

I’ll start off. I love affirmations. I use to hate them and found them hokey. But you know what? Seeing on my mirror “Nothing is permanent, you can always leave or change,” encourages me. Telling myself that I had a shitty day but I’m a bad ass and one bad day doesn’t change that actually helps.

So what say you? What do you or can you do for your own mental wellness?

I'd agree with this assumption! We often go to psychics to find a way to "get a grip" on the "out of control" areas of our lives, and find answers. And when things are out of control, there's often anxiety and stress from it. Now of course, like you said, i cannot say that every single case leads to psychic-sprees. (How about a birthday party? Haha) But I'd say the majority factor is this.

I love this idea for a thread. It makes me happy to see such care!

What helps me when I'm really stressed? I watch a comedy show to movie. I do have some very unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drinking a lot, due to the worries, but, another thing that actually can help is trying to convince myself to not only live in the moment, and recognize that I'm present, but also to meditate, and literally "feel" the anxiety, and "make room for it". Accept that it's there. Not trying to fight it because when we obsess over it, or argue back toward that anxious part of ourselves, or try and figure things out, it comes back stronger. So just even allowing that anxiety to be there, and recognizing it as "anxiety" can do wonders (: Also mediation.

Thanks Josh! I’d like to keep this thread reading/psychic free.

I love the Calm app and binural beats. The sounds soothe me for some reason.

When I’m not being lazy, a good run helps too.

Self care is so important and we constantly neglect it.

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #7 on: June 21, 2019, 01:50:34 AM »
Fluttershy, has DBT worked for you in the past?

As far as leaving angry messages....leave them. On your phone. Type out whatever you want to say in notepad. Say whatever you want in voice memos and you can play it back.

I am feeling like shit today. I’m teary, I’m anxious, I’m sad, I’m bloated and fat feeling (thanks for giving me a heads up, Cookie) I want to drink, I want to spend, I want to do all the things you want to do.

I just sit here reminding myself that these feelings are temporary. Everything is temporary, everything has its season and this is just one I have to make my way through. But I will and so will you.

What am going to do?

After another binge, as a love addict, a codependent, borderline personality disorder... will I ever get better?! 😭😖😭

I thought if I deleted everything on here I’d take bigger steps in not contributing to my drama life, or calling psychics - and i haven’t. In fact I feel like I am failing... again. (Obsession with perfection over here)

The positives : I haven’t cut myself (but I still struggle with that a lot and painfully do dream about it), nor drank myself to a bingey hangover (too broke to buy alcohol, so um that one good thing about being broke). I only called one hour off work as “sick” instead of the whole day. Nor have I borrowed more money from my sister, nor taken out a payday loan, nor maxed one possible credit card. Nor have I left a lot of angry messages on my POI phone... ok well I may have left a total a four angry ones in a span of two days... But definitely not enough to create harassment/stalker case... yeah uh ... let’s talk about how these are goals as someone with mental illness and addiction to psychics

And despite all this- I still wish I could read more with advisors- so I can be confused by imaginary/or real third parties, so I can repeat and muddle more about what wrong I’m doing or not doing enough off. I wish I could let go, if I could and wanted to! But clearly I’m still repeating a broken pattern.

I do believe in LOA, yet right now I want say 🖕to all that!!! Especially since my predictions got pushed further back.

I honestly don’t know anymore- at this point... I struggle with getting better and letting go. At times I feel like my mental illness is a death sentence of being single forever and unable to ever recover from any broken relationship and addicted to psychics without taking full responsibility for my decisions... Right now I hope there are ppl who have gotten better with their mental illness and we’re also addicted to psychics, but for me and today it feels like I’m barely functional.

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #8 on: June 21, 2019, 02:34:57 AM »
It's not even so much about predictions.

It's about trying to 'feel' his aliveness in my life.


I felt this. To my core. It’s just that feeling of trying to recapture or hold on to something that was so fleeting and in hindsight, so delicate and impermanent.

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #9 on: June 21, 2019, 03:40:22 AM »
Something again and again I have to remind myself when I’m feeling a binge but can’t act out: it will pass

I currently don’t like being with people because I’m afraid I’ll snap at them, and not be “perfect”. However, I’ve had to face this fear and false perception, for now it’s better that I am WITH people and it’s ok to be a bitch than being alone with my thoughts, because my thoughts do and can lead to more harmful actions... still though I feel like I could spit poison and the floor would melt.

Breathe: it’s ok to be a bitch in recovery

The song by one republic counting stars really speaks to me right now: make that money watch it burn sink in the river the lessons I learned
https://youtu.be/Yim4--J44gk

Fluttershy, I get you. Impulsivity is my THING. Psychics, sex, alcohol, shopping...all my favorite vices. I constantly have to remind myself as well that it will pass too. But I’m the moment, idk if you feel this way, but it is like ants crawling under my skin. I HAVE to do something and it takes all my might to stop myself.

And yes, be with people. I suffer from black and white thinking. And part of that is I feel I need to be one SB that is good, perfect, knowledgeable or whatever or I’m the SB I don’t like, bitchy and impulsive and moody. But like you said, it’s better to be those things with people and they may forgive you or understand than to live in your thoughts which can unfortunately be distorted.

You’ll be ok.

Offline Still tired

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #10 on: June 21, 2019, 03:51:42 PM »
A few years back I figured out I probably have OCD and readings were a compulsive habit for me. It was a way of obsessing over whatever happened and picking apart the details. I still struggle with having those obsessive thought patterns. It comes down to second guessing (or thousand guessing) every decision I make, everything I said or did, what others said or did and what they really meant behind it. It's only useful for maybe the second or third guessing but beyond that it's just obsessive. I don't do this all the time, only when I get very stressed out. But when my stress level gets high I obsess over literally everything, not just the source of the stress. Like I had to buy tires and spent days obsessing over tire reviews. At times when I feel more relaxed I tend to be more impulsive so if I was feeling that way I might have bought the first tires I got a quote on (then would have regretted it later and obsessed over it.) I see how this is a pattern for me. I have irrational spending habits related to impulsivity and compulsion, and some hoarding tendencies. Lots of hoarding in my family (the extreme couponing type.) I have deep resentment and sadness about the way I grew up, seeing family members care more about things or saving money than they did about me. It was the ultimate form of emotional unavailability and I learned to be that way too. Now it's a protective thing for me to be worried about not having enough money because that way I have the perfect excuse not to get close to anyone. I fell for a guy who is very similar to me on some of these things so I got to see a stunning reflection of myself and my own patterns. I try to appreciate what I do have in my life and be grateful for each thing I have and look at it as a blessing (rather than as a problem or mistake to obsess over.)

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #11 on: June 21, 2019, 06:00:33 PM »
Still Tired, I have a response to you but I’ll have to post it later...cause I’m tired.

😒

No, really guys, I am so down today. I want to crawl into bed and not come out.

Offline Still tired

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #12 on: June 21, 2019, 08:07:44 PM »
Still Tired, I have a response to you but I’ll have to post it later...cause I’m tired.

😒

No, really guys, I am so down today. I want to crawl into bed and not come out.

Maybe it's the solstice. It makes me want to crawl inside a dark cave and not come out til fall.

Offline SomethingBetter

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #13 on: June 26, 2019, 01:42:56 AM »
  :)
« Last Edit: June 26, 2019, 03:53:33 AM by SomethingBetter »

Offline Natashanyc

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Re: Mental wellness
« Reply #14 on: June 26, 2019, 01:52:01 AM »
Idk if I should type this or not, but I feel dead inside. I have felt this way before, so it’s nothing new to me.

The lights are on, but nobody’s home.

I go to work and function. I listen, I laugh, I may even tell a joke. But it’s all a facade.

It’s not so much about this man that I swore was/is dead to me (I may perform a mock funeral/eulogy for him later, I’ll let you guys know how that goes) or about the readings, even though the readings are on my mind. I just feel empty and lost. Nothing makes me happy right now. Not my family, friends, animals, job...nothing. I feel a void and the readings and the random thoughts about this man and everything else are just symptomatic of the larger problem.

Nothing makes me happy right now and nothing is enough. My anxiety is dialed up to 15, I am eating like a horse and gaining weight (ironically as Cookie said) yet as a way to feel something I’ve developed this nasty habit of purging my food. It’s gross and I feel awful after, but I also feel a sense of control.

And that’s what this is ultimately about, I need and crave control. For a while I was doing wonderfully just living my life and letting things happen. Now I live in fear of every little thing that will or won’t happen. And to deal with that I shut down. I am in such a dissociative state. I managed to squeak out a few tears in the shower moments ago but it was nowhere near the amount that I need to emote.

My anxiety meds only further put me in a place to where nothing matters.

I want to use this board for its intended purpose, to review psychics, which I do believe in. It’s this hidden indulgence I’ve allowed myself, talking to these psychics and talking to all of you. But where do I get to that point where I can start to feel again?

Does anyone else have the same feeling? Like they are just floating through right now?

Please don’t quote me as I may delete this.

Interestingly enough, Cookie predicted these anxiety:depression issues and Yona saw me struggling while healing lol. Sorry, I had to tie the readings in some how.

Do u see a psych ? Or therapists?

 

anything