Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Met with POI and left confused
Kat23:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 25, 2018, 12:52:16 PM ---I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.
I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.
I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.
--- End quote ---
It is as though you were reading me...
star1:
--- Quote from: Kat23 on December 25, 2018, 12:54:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on December 25, 2018, 09:47:31 AM ---
I just feel if a man really wanted to make moves, he's had all year to decide what he wanted with you.
--- End quote ---
Well said..
this man has 8 years to make up his mind about you and make an honest woman out of you...is he confused? Maybe and maybe not... he can love you but he is not in love with you..decide what's in your best interest...to stay and wait till he is "ready" or move on and live your life..
--- End quote ---
I completely agree. There's no excuse. I personally if I love a man I'd do anything for him, I am a very romantic person as it is but I would make things clear and leave the ball in his court, so it appears to me like he's messing you about. Yes - he is in the army and a busy guy but so are many thousands of others who have partners back home. He seems to be playing mind games if I'm being honest. Sleeping with you and going for drinks then saying two people can love each other but not be together.. I don't think that's very fair on the OP who could have opportunities to be with someone who actually will put her first and make time for her. Even though they were together for 8 years doesn't excuse his behaviour to the OP, I know all relationships have ups and downs but it seems to be quite bumpy. All the readers told me my ex loves and is coming back and look at me, DeeDee123 he didn't come back did he?
And also I've blocked guys and ignored them and if they were really keen would contact me, there's no excuse. Men generally do make it clear if they're interested. They can be weird creatures but they show in their own weird and wonderful ways.
star1:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 25, 2018, 12:52:16 PM ---I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.
I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.
I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.
--- End quote ---
STL I agree, I've never been able to keep friends as exes. There's always jealousy from both sides, even if they don't want to be with you they don't like the thought of someone else being in your life. I find it virtually impossible to keep in touch with an ex, especially when feelings are still involved.
I am sure that the ex POI who I have just stopped calling psychics about had commitment issues. I do believe he had feelings for me at some point *sometimes*. But he reminds me of OP's situation where he wanted to keep me hanging for "just incase", but also didn't want any commitments with me.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: star1 on December 25, 2018, 01:36:41 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 25, 2018, 12:52:16 PM ---I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.
I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.
I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.
--- End quote ---
STL I agree, I've never been able to keep friends as exes. There's always jealousy from both sides, even if they don't want to be with you they don't like the thought of someone else being in your life. I find it virtually impossible to keep in touch with an ex, especially when feelings are still involved.
I am sure that the ex POI who I have just stopped calling psychics about had commitment issues. I do believe he had feelings for me at some point *sometimes*. But he reminds me of OP's situation where he wanted to keep me hanging for "just incase", but also didn't want any commitments with me.
--- End quote ---
Exactly! I know he would get jealous, and I couldn’t stand the thought of hearing he was interested in someone else either. That’s how I knew a friendship would never work.
It’s a horrible situation to be in....I still miss him but I know I did the right thing.
star1:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 25, 2018, 02:05:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: star1 on December 25, 2018, 01:36:41 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on December 25, 2018, 12:52:16 PM ---I couldn’t be friends with someone I have intense feelings for. I did try with first poi when it was obvious he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. But in the end it was too painful for me to have him in my life. I had to move on because having him in my life was causing me too much pain.
I kept hanging on to what the psychics told me, that eventually he would come around, but he never did.
I would cave and contact him when I knew I should’ve stayed away, but I finally got it through my thick head to stop lol. Took a long time though. It’s funny because last time he contacted me, I remember a strong inner voice telling me not to respond. And I didn’t, so I’m proud of myself for that at least. I’m sure he would have been happy to keep me in his life on his terms, but that wasn’t working for me.
--- End quote ---
STL I agree, I've never been able to keep friends as exes. There's always jealousy from both sides, even if they don't want to be with you they don't like the thought of someone else being in your life. I find it virtually impossible to keep in touch with an ex, especially when feelings are still involved.
I am sure that the ex POI who I have just stopped calling psychics about had commitment issues. I do believe he had feelings for me at some point *sometimes*. But he reminds me of OP's situation where he wanted to keep me hanging for "just incase", but also didn't want any commitments with me.
--- End quote ---
Exactly! I know he would get jealous, and I couldn’t stand the thought of hearing he was interested in someone else either. That’s how I knew a friendship would never work.
It’s a horrible situation to be in....I still miss him but I know I did the right thing.
--- End quote ---
You definitely did the right thing if you feel better and more relieved already, hope you have a lovely Christmas! :)
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version