Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
I'm really confused...opinions please?
Love-33:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on November 09, 2017, 01:50:25 PM ---
--- Quote from: Love-33 on November 09, 2017, 01:28:09 PM ---Dont' worry darling. It's good that he knows what you want at least if he comes back it will be for something serious and not just for FWB or whatever.
--- End quote ---
Yeah..I guess the good news is that responded to my last message that night and didn’t block me or something..it’s just so hard because he’s all I can think about right now
--- End quote ---
Of course why would he block you? You haven't done anything wrong!
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: Love-33 on November 09, 2017, 01:58:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on November 09, 2017, 01:50:25 PM ---
--- Quote from: Love-33 on November 09, 2017, 01:28:09 PM ---Dont' worry darling. It's good that he knows what you want at least if he comes back it will be for something serious and not just for FWB or whatever.
--- End quote ---
Yeah..I guess the good news is that responded to my last message that night and didn’t block me or something..it’s just so hard because he’s all I can think about right now
--- End quote ---
Of course why would he block you? You haven't done anything wrong!
--- End quote ---
I feel like if he was completely done with me that he would block me so he wouldn’t have to listen to my crap, or just not respond at all.
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on November 09, 2017, 02:02:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: Love-33 on November 09, 2017, 01:58:13 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on November 09, 2017, 01:50:25 PM ---
--- Quote from: Love-33 on November 09, 2017, 01:28:09 PM ---Dont' worry darling. It's good that he knows what you want at least if he comes back it will be for something serious and not just for FWB or whatever.
--- End quote ---
Yeah..I guess the good news is that responded to my last message that night and didn’t block me or something..it’s just so hard because he’s all I can think about right now
--- End quote ---
Of course why would he block you? You haven't done anything wrong!
--- End quote ---
I feel like if he was completely done with me that he would block me so he wouldn’t have to listen to my crap, or just not respond at all.
--- End quote ---
I'm not going to wait months..I am just really hoping that he gets out of this "phase" and comes back.
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: Still tired on November 09, 2017, 03:09:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: sunshineluv7 on November 09, 2017, 12:38:24 PM ---Well, with what you wrote here anyway you didn't mention anything that showed you understood where he was coming from and respected his wishes or where he was at.
--- End quote ---
Yes she did, it's right there in her first post.
--- Quote ---People never break things off on a whim, and it's always a difficult conversation to have.
--- End quote ---
Never? I wouldn't call it a whim, but sometimes people do it on impulse, in the heat of an argument or when feeling a lot of stress and pressure. Not to digress into my story here, but I have done it and very soon after regretted it.
I don't think this guy did it that impulsively, it sounds like he did think it through and wanted to be a gentleman about it. But the way he did it doesn't come across as final and decisive either. It is hesitant. He had the opportunity there to say sorry not right now, or just plain no, but he left it open ended.
I would be more concerned that he's not respecting her feelings by leaving her wondering.
--- End quote ---
I know that he was stressed out a week or so before he “broke it off.” He kept telling me how he was pondering this and that in his life and it’s been a pretty rough year for him. That’s the part that I really don’t get..not sure if it’s just wishful thinking but he seemed hesitant and left it seemingly open ended in his last response instead of just no. It feels like he is just so stressed out he can’t deal with me on top of everything else.
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: Still tired on November 09, 2017, 04:21:16 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on November 09, 2017, 03:15:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on November 09, 2017, 03:09:28 PM ---
--- Quote from: sunshineluv7 on November 09, 2017, 12:38:24 PM ---Well, with what you wrote here anyway you didn't mention anything that showed you understood where he was coming from and respected his wishes or where he was at.
--- End quote ---
Yes she did, it's right there in her first post.
--- Quote ---People never break things off on a whim, and it's always a difficult conversation to have.
--- End quote ---
Never? I wouldn't call it a whim, but sometimes people do it on impulse, in the heat of an argument or when feeling a lot of stress and pressure. Not to digress into my story here, but I have done it and very soon after regretted it.
I don't think this guy did it that impulsively, it sounds like he did think it through and wanted to be a gentleman about it. But the way he did it doesn't come across as final and decisive either. It is hesitant. He had the opportunity there to say sorry not right now, or just plain no, but he left it open ended.
I would be more concerned that he's not respecting her feelings by leaving her wondering.
--- End quote ---
I know that he was stressed out a week or so before he “broke it off.” He kept telling me how he was pondering this and that in his life and it’s been a pretty rough year for him. That’s the part that I really don’t get..not sure if it’s just wishful thinking but he seemed hesitant and left it seemingly open ended in his last response instead of just no. It feels like he is just so stressed out he can’t deal with me on top of everything else.
--- End quote ---
Sorry I am so slow to post sometimes, I didn't mean to skip over your response.
That is the overall impression I got, not just from what you wrote but empathically I can just feel the stress coming off of him in waves. It's hard to say what he will do though. Sounds like he might be at a crossroads in his life where he is evaluating a lot of things. It may be a case of really bad timing. If there is one thing I have learned, when timing is the issue, it is really out of your hands. There is not much you can do except let it be.
It's good that you were honest about your feelings and wanting him to give it another chance. He sounds like a really nice guy and someone who won't ultimately leave you hanging with no answer. It just may not be the answer you hope for. I know it is hard but even though he didn't leave it as final, I would try to accept it as such. Then if he does come back around, it is a nice surprise. I think most of us here can attest to how much worse it gets if you hold on to hope. I am so sorry this happened.
--- End quote ---
It’s ok. Thank you. Right now I’m just really in that denial stage where I have a strong hope he will return once things cool down..at the same time I’m afraid he won’t and I will hang on longer than I want to. I have a hard time letting go..it’s so hard and it’s all I have been thinking about ever since it happened Tuesday night. I’m trying as hard as I can to be strong..I just miss him so much
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