Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Question
sunshineluv7:
Don't run from the pain or deny it. Go into it full force. Grieve it, journal, cry. Denying your true feelings only stuffs them down, you need to let it out. It's okay to be upset and mad at hurt and angry, for as long as you need to be.
Accept the reality. What you resist persists. Once you fully accept what is happening now, it won't hurt you. The reason you are upset is because you resist the reality of what is. Acceptance will set you free.
Universal9:
sawthelight, tangential to the main topic but this is so true! This now-faded POI of mine once tried to demote me to just friends so that he could keep communicating with these other women in his life. I am so glad I put my foot down, and did not give in, instead severed all forms of contact till date (except one msg). I was only the option for him, not the priority. If I were everything to him, we would have been together.
--- Quote from: sawthelight on October 18, 2017, 07:24:41 PM ---
--- Quote from: mystery123 on October 18, 2017, 12:05:35 PM ---Thank you so much everyone! I needed to hear all of this. Yea, I always knew what his intentions were so he is not a bad person, but I guess I was hoping for the unexpected. His behavior would sweeten tremendously on and off and then with readers saying he likes you, I thought a miracle would happen. Guess not.
@sawthelight- yea that was in April, aries, fairie moon and sweethearts tarot asked me to let go as they dont see anything.. but we again got back together for two weeks in june so I disregarded their reading. When i read with them in August September then they said the opposite— he likes you and will come forward. So I started hoping for that.
But you all are right, I need to respect myself more to let him go. I should have known better then and now, but I definitely deserve better. Not this kind of back and forth. And it’s also a good point to look at myself and see what do i want. Why and how did I get into this place. Why would I fall in love with someone who doesn’t want me and have made it clear several times. I need to stand up for myself. I don’t need to beg for a relationship.
I need to take a break or stop taking readings especially when I know that they don’t read me but someone else.
I can’t thank you guys enough!!! Nothing was rude or anything, i sincerely needed someone to shake me, wake me up and slap me out of it. I will watch that video as well and maybe try online dating once I feel healed from this situation.
I will come back to it whenever repeating patterns...so thank you all again! and now feel like I am not alone and I can do this!! I need to stop living in my head and in my imaginary “relationship”
--- End quote ---
I have been where you are...and I always hoped things would change. they did a bit, but never enough, and it was only way after I moved ahead, that I realized I'm glad things didn't work out the way I wanted them to at the time, because something so much better was around the corner. Sound corny and cheesy, but it's true!
You ever hear the expression, "don't make someone a priority when they only make you an option"...that's my motto in life.
--- End quote ---
Universal9:
I will also implement this one. I have a lot of issues where I feel he did me injustice and everything, but I dont come to terms with the feelings, or think about what and why I feel this way from A to Z. I think I should so it too, I need to do this to let all of this go.
--- Quote from: sunshineluv7 on October 18, 2017, 08:11:33 PM ---Don't run from the pain or deny it. Go into it full force. Grieve it, journal, cry. Denying your true feelings only stuffs them down, you need to let it out. It's okay to be upset and mad at hurt and angry, for as long as you need to be.
Accept the reality. What you resist persists. Once you fully accept what is happening now, it won't hurt you. The reason you are upset is because you resist the reality of what is. Acceptance will set you free.
--- End quote ---
Baypark1:
Oh boy, this is hard to do! For me, I was right where you are, wanting to stop pining over this particular POI and move on with my life. I got to the point I really thought something was wrong with me because it's not normal to hang on to someone that clearly has moved on and call psychics obsessively spending thousands of dollars. First off, I truly believe calling psychics keeps you hanging on. It's an addiction. I do believe there is something to your thought about being comfortable in your pain. So, long story short, slowly the feeling of wanting to get my shit together and move on becamee stronger and stronger and I started googling "how to deal with rejection and move on" type of things. I ended up finding a woman named Susan Anderson who has a whole program on dealing with rejection and abandonment. I finally had found what I had been looking for. It totally resonated with me. For me, I've had rejection and abandonment issues since I was a child but for some, it may not come out until adulthood and one situation can bring it out. Anyway, that may or may not be your issue but her workbook really helps with letting go and getting over the current rejection you are feeling. Google her and see if her stuff resonates with you. If not, maybe something else will help. I think when we obsess over anything and can't let go, there's an underlying issue we aren't dealing with. We aren't crazy people. We are human beings who have been hurt and want to be loved. Some people handle things better than others. For me, Susan Anderson has been working. I haven't called a psychic in about a month maybe, I'm not keeping track. I have no desire to. I am not pining over this asshole that "rejected" me who didn't even deserve me in the first place and wasn't even GOOD for me!
I hope you start feeling better and stronger soon. I know what you are feeling very well and it sucks.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Baypark1 on October 18, 2017, 10:21:16 PM ---Oh boy, this is hard to do! For me, I was right where you are, wanting to stop pining over this particular POI and move on with my life. I got to the point I really thought something was wrong with me because it's not normal to hang on to someone that clearly has moved on and call psychics obsessively spending thousands of dollars. First off, I truly believe calling psychics keeps you hanging on. It's an addiction. I do believe there is something to your thought about being comfortable in your pain. So, long story short, slowly the feeling of wanting to get my shit together and move on becamee stronger and stronger and I started googling "how to deal with rejection and move on" type of things. I ended up finding a woman named Susan Anderson who has a whole program on dealing with rejection and abandonment. I finally had found what I had been looking for. It totally resonated with me. For me, I've had rejection and abandonment issues since I was a child but for some, it may not come out until adulthood and one situation can bring it out. Anyway, that may or may not be your issue but her workbook really helps with letting go and getting over the current rejection you are feeling. Google her and see if her stuff resonates with you. If not, maybe something else will help. I think when we obsess over anything and can't let go, there's an underlying issue we aren't dealing with. We aren't crazy people. We are human beings who have been hurt and want to be loved. Some people handle things better than others. For me, Susan Anderson has been working. I haven't called a psychic in about a month maybe, I'm not keeping track. I have no desire to. I am not pining over this asshole that "rejected" me who didn't even deserve me in the first place and wasn't even GOOD for me!
I hope you start feeling better and stronger soon. I know what you are feeling very well and it sucks.
--- End quote ---
Great post Baypark
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