@journalemuse: Yeah. That's what I mean. It has to be an actual pattern. I do understand that life happens and people lose jobs, places to live, etc. and may even have just one long difficult period. I'm just talking about those men that seem to never get their stuff straight past a certain age.
I have a few examples to share and after much reflection it's how I came to my conclusion.
1 of my exes that was with for 6 years back in my 20's was living with a much much older woman and told me she was his mother's friend. I had no reason to believe otherwise. I didn't know even a quarter of stuff back then that I know now. Nevertheless, he didn't work, he sold drugs. I then began to experience that he was the type that looked for women to use for money and materials. He got clothes, cars, jewelry, just all kinds of things. He never worked at all. He hopped from place to place to stay as well.
A male friend that I used to have, totally platonic, that I'm still friends with and have known for 9 years now, hops from job to job, place to place, and has tons of relationships that don't last. It isn't because he's a player though. It's because he's simply too lazy to put the proper efforts into anything.
Another of my exes did work his ass off. BUT, he also hopped from job to job because he demanded more money for his experience. He also hopped from home to home and even state to state for work. He is married, however, he cheats on his wife.
My current ex is 36 years old. He was married for 10 years with 2 kids. He didn't hold down a job for long the entire time he was married. He also cheated on his wife several times. She also cheated on him but she worked her ass off and still does. As long as I've know him, since 2011, and have been involved with him on the relationship area for the last 5 years, he's been very inconsistent, didn't hold down jobs for long at all, and cheated (not sexually) but always needed constant attention and his "affairs" never last more than a month or two. He's very codependent and very lazy. His credit score is 483. He now hops from room to room in another state, and will hop from job to job. His mother financially supports him and has been for the past 7 months so she's enabling his laziness. He will never have stability without a woman of some sort.
So you see, these aren't cases of life just happening, rather behavioral patterns that bleed into all areas of their lives and they do nothing to change it, most likely because they haven't taken the time to see their own patterns.
