Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

CLOSURE

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springtime:
Hi Everyone,

I was just reading another thread and closure jumped out at me.  I feel that I have gotten too many readings because I was looking to find out if I would ever get closure on a certain relationship.  I wonder if we ever get the closure we are looking for and if we are better off just finding peace within ourselves.  Maybe the closure we are looking for may never happen and we need to except that and make peace with it.

What are you guys thoughts on closure?

 ::)

springtime:
Thanks Jordie!  How did you finally make that peace with yourself?  Did you jusr finally decide to stop thinking about the person and completely let it go?  I want to get to that point but still pops (the situation) in my head at times.

sunandmoon:
ST, that's all I was calling for was closure. This was the first r/s where I didn't have it and it messed me up a lot, mainly because he was the one that pursued me relentlessly and was attached to my hip 24/7 for years, then he just stopped talking to me. Every other r/s I had would end, be it by me or the other person. And it would be a discussion so you knew where you stood. I know I hurt others in the past but we did talk things out. My ex refused. And he would (when we were together) keep me up for hours talking so every time a psychic said he was incapable of talking I said bs!!!!

Like Jordie said, I needed to get to a point where I had enough. I was talking to a guy at work and thinking, here I am passing up opportunities, and for what? This jerk that broke up my marriage, cost me friendships, almost cost me a job much less his own and who won't talk to me? He has not wished me a happy birthday in 2 years while the rest of his family does.

I also found that if I could force myself to wait a day, if not two, when I got anxious to talk to someone the feeling would pass.

I still don't have closure but I'm better with that than I was before.

allbitenobark:
I think the lack of closure for me has also been what has held me back from moving on. Like you, s&m, my ex pursued me relentlessly, was always with me, always told me no matter what happened between us he'd never turn his back on me, etc. etc. Yet, it's been 10 months and nothing. Every attempt I've made, and believe me it was few and far between and I gave up a few months ago, he thwarted and would end the call in seconds flat. To make matters worse, he's already in a new relationship and has been in one for a while now. It makes me feel as if all the love he claimed to have had for me was all BS. His reason for leaving the relationship was that he had been in LTR's since HS and had never been single and wanted to figure himself out. Apparently it only took him 5 months to figure himself out because that's how long it was before he had a new gf. I guess at this point I am bitter but that's getting less and less everyday. Of course every prediction I've gotten for contact or reconciliation has obviously not come to pass, but I still have hope on some level. He and I are still involved in each others lives on the fringes. We have lots of mutual friends and similar lifestyles so we have seen each other publicly and for the most part we are cool with one another, but our conversations might as well be about the weather because he talks to me like I am merely an acquaintance. Sometimes I wish there was a pill I could take that would make me forget that he was the love of my life, I'd spend more money on that than the small fortune I've spent on readings, hahaha!! Anyway, sorry for rambling on. But, yes, closure is def an issue for me, too. I've always gotten closure in my past relationships but for some reason this man refuses to give me that peace and yes I have even literally asked him for as much.

lightme:
my opinion on closure: actions speak louder than words.

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