Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Exhausted need help
kdspirited:
russianred you are absolutely correct i am so frustrated with myself but I am trying to also be kind. The back and forth in my head the whatifs and the confusing thoughts instilled in my head by psychics I have read with over time dont help. I have to have a conversation with myself everytime. Its a process I guess one day at a time. I am trying to be patient with myself
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: Still tired on April 05, 2020, 07:25:29 AM ---To be honest I think the turning point and maybe the only thing that finally got me over it was I just started feeling contempt for my ex. For a long time I was very angry and hurt but I still felt affection for him. So every time I thought about him all these mixed feelings would come up. I missed him, I worried about him, I was angry, I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to hug him. But over time all of those feelings gradually just turned cold. So there came a point when he crossed my mind it just felt like flicking a gnat away. I really wouldn't want anyone else to go through that the way I did. It changed me, I feel like I'm not even the same person anymore. I would have rather let him go with love but I stopped having those feelings.
--- End quote ---
Can we really let someone go with love if we still love someone? Doesn't this create a sort of pining and never moving on to something else new and/or better? I'm not sure. I've found that for me, turning cold to the other person relieves me of any comfort I had for them and I'm able to look the other way or to even talk to them, but be the first to ring off or walk away. They no longer affect my future.
kdspirited:
I had a dream about him last night. But I woke up totally indifferent. Thats the feeling I want to get to more and more where their existence has no affect on me at all. Good or bad. If he crosses my mind I should think "yup great wish you well now leave me alone"
I had that happen with my last ex he lied to me and cheated on me I spent 2 years trying to get over him and then one day he emailed me and I asked him why is he brothering to do so. And he said if you want I wont do it again. My response was I honestly couldnt care less email me or not frankly my dear I dont give a damn ;D
IT was such a liberating moment
kdspirited:
Thanks greekgreek I woke up from the dream feeling good not missing him or angry at him. It was just a feeling of ho hum. Its interesting I dreamt about him a few weeks ago as well and it was a dream where I saw him at work and he was turned away from me. He didnt want to see me kind of hard to explain. I walk into a conference room where he is sitting he turns his head to look at me and he has this serious look on it and almost one of contempt and he looks away as if he was looking at a stranger. In this dream he was trying to get my attention like he would always do at work very flirty and was chasing me around the office. So I do think energetically I have turned a corner
kdspirited:
--- Quote from: th3awakened1 on April 06, 2020, 06:14:12 PM ---
--- Quote from: kdspirited on April 06, 2020, 04:02:29 AM ---I had a dream about him last night. But I woke up totally indifferent. Thats the feeling I want to get to more and more where their existence has no affect on me at all. Good or bad. If he crosses my mind I should think "yup great wish you well now leave me alone"
I had that happen with my last ex he lied to me and cheated on me I spent 2 years trying to get over him and then one day he emailed me and I asked him why is he brothering to do so. And he said if you want I wont do it again. My response was I honestly couldnt care less email me or not frankly my dear I dont give a damn ;D
IT was such a liberating moment
--- End quote ---
This was so true. I watched this clip and felt so relieved I am giving it way to much attention. The thoughts that come into my mind I just have to say thanks and then drop it. done and done. Thanks for sharing
This completely reminded me of this clip. Everytime my poi ever crosses my mind I give it a minute and then I drop it. I will admit I have felt more triggered lately being at home all the time in quarantine, but doesn't change anything especially since I have moved forward without him in my life and for the better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqKdQKANqGM
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime we just have to remember which is which and not give temporary people lifetime space.
--- End quote ---
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