Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Exhausted need help

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kdspirited:
2 weeks into my 30 day challenge of not getting a reading and I was really struggling today. I didnt break but I am so tired of thinking of him. Its been over a month since I last saw him. I was hoping not having to see him everyday will help me get over him faster. I was doing really well there is a big part of me that knows I will never hear from him again. But there is another one that keeps nagging about the fact that he might. I want that voice to go away and it is not. I have already given this 3 years of my life. I cant give it anymore. I am so tired of this and myself being and feeling like this. I want to be done
That voice that keeps nagging me is due to the readings I have had with Yona and Cookie and the possibility of the fact that it could happen. I want to let go I keep telling myself this is unrequittted love and I am a smart intelligent sane woman who knows I may never get closure I just have to accept that. But why wont my heart just let go and accpet all the evidence to the contrary.

lightfaerie:
Hey hun. Try to give yourself time. Be gentle on yourself. Suggestion: buy your own tarot deck or guidance cards and pull out 3 cards for yourself. I have seen tutorials online where they pull 10 cards and lay them out for answers on past, present etc. There are automatic tarot decks online if you can’t afford to buy one. Don’t pay for a reading - they’ll feed into your vulnerability and tell you what you want to hear. And if they don’t tell you what you want to hear then you might feel upset. Either way it’s a lose lose situation if you go to a reader. Save your money, get an answers pendulum or other tools. Focus on your question and ask the universe yourself.

You have more power than you know and the universe has a plan for you. Trust that you can pass this time by doing what you love. Try to find some things that give you joy xx

user5942:
It honestly takes time. Like the two users above said, you need to accept what happened.

This is where readings can be destructive to your healing. We shouldn’t look at readers like this god complex because they wouldn’t bet their lives on what they told us will actually happen. They should be looked at as “entertainment purposes” only, and if things happen that’s great. But we should never “bet” on them happening.

My POI left me for someone else in July. I just started to really accept what happened last month. This was after months of therapy, traveling, picking up new hobbies, spending time with friends and family, and even being prescribed medicine for depression and anxiety (which helped, GREATLY).

You’re grieving the loss of a person in a sense, so what you’re feeling is completely understandable. I blocked my POI on every site and deleted all pictures. That way, I didn’t think about him as much. Now, I really don’t give a shit if I ever speak to him again. I never thought I’d say that, but I came to one universal truth that the way someone treats you, especially the way they leave you, tells you everything you need to know about them. My ex left me for someone else and didn’t even have the decency to tell me. He was two timing us the whole time and I even contemplated telling the other girl that and that this guy was playing us, but I didn’t even bother. He’s her problem now and I’ve come to the conclusion that he simply is not a good person. I want to be with someone who is a good man, this guy was not. And he’s going to continuously sabotage himself because there is something wrong with him if he has the ability to treat people in his life that way.

kdspirited:
Thank you all so much for your wisdom and help. I was really down and out yesterday. This self isolation doesnt help either. I know I am done with it. I just have to accept it wholeheartedly and know that it happened for my own benefit that the universe was watching over me. I just get frustrated when I wake up in the morning and my thoughts go to him. It doesnt matter if they are good or bad. I immediately hate myself for even thinking of him and feel like a failure. I have been doing cord cutting meditation and loook forward to the day I wake up and he is no longer on my mind. I even loathe that I have to put in so much of an effort into forgetting about him. I know its going to take time and i appreciate you all so very much for your support

Love to you all

user5942:
Personally, I think cord cutting is total bullshit

There is no magic to getting over someone you cared about, especially loved

It’s going to hurt and take time, you need to go through those motions in order to fully heal. There’s no shortcut or secret passageway

You need to work through the steps of grief because that’s technically what you’re dealing with - losing someone

That’s going to take work and it is a process, but at the end of it you feel wonderful

All this magical, metaphysical, and psychic stuff didn’t help me...but therapy, praying to God, and medication did

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