Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Not doing great
flora0250:
--- Quote from: FlutterShy on January 22, 2019, 02:52:23 AM ---
--- Quote from: flora0250 on January 22, 2019, 01:55:00 AM ---
--- Quote from: Miller1336 on January 22, 2019, 01:45:42 AM ---I feel the same way today. Very low...sending you a hug.
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Thank you so much - many back your way. I wrote a thread asking people what helped them finally stop getting readings and it was very empowering to me, you might take a look (i happened to see your other post). It is a horrible horrible cycle and all I can think is that I really have to recognize this as an impulse control problem / anxiety issue and I really might need to seek some kind of help or medication or treatment at this point before I completely ruin myself financially and emotionally. I think I have a handle on it ... and then I binge. And even when I have readings I feel positive about that really have been very specific.
So I get a negative reading? My reaction - are you SURE?!? Maybe I gave them leading info and it was a cold read.
I get a positive reading? My reaction - are you SURE?!? Maybe I should see if the most negative readers say the same. THEN I’ll really believe it. Maybe they’re just selling me a fairy tale.
I swear I can’t win. There’s no winning with this cyclical behavior there isn’t.
I don’t know what to say but I know I will get to the point of stopping. Last time it was a couple years and many thousands of dollars. This time it’s been less than a year and I have a lot less money. But still, it’s so hard. So so hard. Thanks again for reaching out and sending strength and hugs back.
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I can totally relate to everything that was said
I was tempted to start a thread about this but didn’t know how to phrase it other than ...
I am having anxiety about all my good news 😭😭😭 It could be my wedding day to my SO and I would still feel this anxious and upset about my good news... like I don’t believe it or deserve it
As someone who suffers from anxiety hugs to you to.
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Thank you so much - lots of hugs back. Yes I’ve thought that too. If a man were to ask me to marry him I *still* would feel like he’s going to leave. I don’t think it would be until we actually got married that I wouldn’t think that. And even then I might think that. for me it goes back to the end of my marriage and what happened and that if the man who promised to be with me all those years and who I loved from the time I was 18 all those years ... if that man who said he loved me could treat me the way he did and then decide our marriage wasn’t worth working on.... then how can I ever trust any man?
I know that’s the root of my anxiety. I don’t know how I will ever overcome it.
flora0250:
--- Quote from: Dreamer23 on January 22, 2019, 02:02:15 AM ---I totally feel you, it is so so hard. The thought pattern that you are having, I can so relate to that! I don't trust any reader - positive or negative and then I end up getting more readings. It's a cycle.
I feel like one of the ways to break the cycle is to find a way to communicate with POI, then you will at least know what's going on. If that's not possible, then keeping yourself busy is another way.
I hope you feel better soon!!!
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Thank you Dreamer... wish we hadn’t left things so open ended. We left it as maybe we’d get back together after he was through all he was going through with his divorce and feeling free from that. Never should have left things that way. When we last texted he told me he was seeing someone but still even then it wasn’t like he seemed that serious about it... to me anyway.... maybe he is / was and he just didn’t want me to feel bad. I have no idea. I can’t stand when men try to protect you from hurt so they lie.
Anyway regardless I won’t reach out to him again. At this point I just need to keep myself busy and keep my head in the reality of the situation and accept the present and focus on taking care of myself. But as I posted I just don’t think I’m ready to go through heartbreak again. And I really did believe there was something special between us or I wouldn’t have let myself become as emotionally invested as I did. I really believed the universe sent him my way for a reason and it’s still hard for me to shake it. That was what my intuition told me when we met and I really trusted it. I am not the kind of woman to think that about every man I date.
Anyway. Thank you again. Xoxoxo
LAW1974:
Just throwing this out there.... you think it was the lunar eclipse? It was supposed to really mess everything up? Couod it have made you all feel uneasy?
sawthelight:
Flora, I can so relate. It's a really hard addiction to break. At the end of the day, I think readings do more harm than good for most. A lot of times, they keep us hanging on to toxic situations much longer than we would/should otherwise.
Stilltired is 100% right in that it becomes like a bad habit..something a lot of us depend on to make us feel better, albeit only temporarily.
Fidget1028:
Flora, I completely understand after 2 years of readings. It's not a coincidence that no readers saw that my future included endless readings and getting myself out of debt from them.
I suggest meditation and finding something you enjoy to immerse yourself in. I go a bit manic in cleaning and I fill my calendar with busy stuff...activities with my kids, joining group/committees, volunteering, etc. By the end of the day I'm physically/mentally exhausted. But the urge to call becomes less and I am developing new positives that are slowly taking the place of my POI obsession. It's a work in progress, but I am finally getting back on my feet. My obsession now is to accept the actual money I spent and find creative ways to budget and fix the mess I created.
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