Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
How do you know ....
Love2lovenj:
--- Quote from: ladya on January 18, 2019, 06:21:08 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 18, 2019, 05:47:59 PM ---
--- Quote from: Love2lovenj on January 18, 2019, 05:43:52 PM ---I don't get the ghosting and then reappearing act. Total bs way of dealing with things. If your gonna ghost and come back you seriously need a swift kick in the ass. I have my butt kicking shoe, polished and ready to go too. Grrr
--- End quote ---
LMAO right! It's not something I tolerate anymore. I really liked the second POI and he did that shit and when he "reemerged" I ignored him. I don't think it's cool to do that to a person, unless you have a real reason for it. But like I said, a hello text takes two seconds and could make the world of a difference.
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that's not technically ghosting if they appear and disappear but I do agree with what youre saying. Ghosting is when everything is going fine one day and next day theyre gone and you never hear from them again. Hence resembles a ghost lol. But a lot of men have that retreat type behavior just varies to degrees. I think I mentioned this on another post somewhere but thats where the whole man cave term came from because they would need a place to retreat to be by themselves.
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I see if someone disappears for weeks on end without notice as ghosting. I mean for example if you text someone and they read your message but decides to not respond for 3 weeks for bo apparent reason or with an explanation as a ghosting. Either way retreating/ ghosting both suck majorly.
sawthelight:
yep..that's what happened with the last guy. I send a message and it said delivered...and no reply, then three weeks later I got a "hey how are you doing, what's going on" type of text. I ignored. Man, that rubbed me the wrong way.
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 18, 2019, 06:39:51 PM ---yep..that's what happened with the last guy. I send a message and it said delivered...and no reply, then three weeks later I got a "hey how are you doing, what's going on" type of text. I ignored. Man, that rubbed me the wrong way.
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I agree with both of you and I never understood the purpose of ghosting, especially when they decide to come back as if you had been waiting for them. WTF is that? Just say it's not working for you and say why. It's not even like they want to work on trying to make it work. It's like they went after another girl and when it didn't work, then decided to see if they can't get back in. I would never take a guy back who did that. I would have lost all trust that he could handle things in a grown up way and not just run away from challenges. Annoying as F!
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on January 18, 2019, 06:45:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 18, 2019, 06:39:51 PM ---yep..that's what happened with the last guy. I send a message and it said delivered...and no reply, then three weeks later I got a "hey how are you doing, what's going on" type of text. I ignored. Man, that rubbed me the wrong way.
--- End quote ---
I agree with both of you and I never understood the purpose of ghosting, especially when they decide to come back as if you had been waiting for them. WTF is that? Just say it's not working for you and say why. It's not even like they want to work on trying to make it work. It's like they went after another girl and when it didn't work, then decided to see if they can't get back in. I would never take a guy back who did that. I would have lost all trust that he could handle things in a grown up way and not just run away from challenges. Annoying as F!
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YES! I honestly felt maybe he was playing the field and just resurfaced when things didn't work out. I will never let myself settle for that again.
In lots of ways, first POI damaged me to men, but I also have more self respect now, than to put up with BS. I would rather be alone honestly.
HornetKick:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 18, 2019, 06:48:33 PM ---
--- Quote from: HornetKick on January 18, 2019, 06:45:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 18, 2019, 06:39:51 PM ---yep..that's what happened with the last guy. I send a message and it said delivered...and no reply, then three weeks later I got a "hey how are you doing, what's going on" type of text. I ignored. Man, that rubbed me the wrong way.
--- End quote ---
I agree with both of you and I never understood the purpose of ghosting, especially when they decide to come back as if you had been waiting for them. WTF is that? Just say it's not working for you and say why. It's not even like they want to work on trying to make it work. It's like they went after another girl and when it didn't work, then decided to see if they can't get back in. I would never take a guy back who did that. I would have lost all trust that he could handle things in a grown up way and not just run away from challenges. Annoying as F!
--- End quote ---
YES! I honestly felt maybe he was playing the field and just resurfaced when things didn't work out. I will never let myself settle for that again.
In lots of ways, first POI damaged me to men, but I also have more self respect now, than to put up with BS. I would rather be alone honestly.
--- End quote ---
YES!!
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