Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

Ever been someone else’s POI?

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ladya:

--- Quote from: Still tired on December 29, 2018, 08:31:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 29, 2018, 07:52:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on December 29, 2018, 07:12:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 29, 2018, 06:10:12 PM ---I can stay friends with exes after I've gotten over them not during the getting over period. I think its also cause I jive with men better. I'd never go resurrecting a friendship with anyone else, usually, once people are cut out they're just dead to me. I wouldn't even give them a second glance if I saw them in the street lol. But people I'm romantically involved with are the closest people to me and actually see a side others don't. we always have a really strong friendship bond so its a thing I miss most when things go south.

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I'm pretty much the same way. My exes have been some of my closest friends and I really regret losing that if things don't work out romantically. Once I'm over losing the romantic and sexual aspect of it I'm good with being friends. I find it's more often the men who can't deal with it, it hurts their ego to feel that someone who once desired them isn't interested anymore.

Once I cut someone off though I'm done. I can forgive a lot, if a person tries to reconcile with me before I reach that point, and I extend that window pretty exhaustively for people I'm close to. But I'm more likely to cut someone off because they have incompatible views rather than because they hurt me. I value the bond more when we have similar views and beliefs, and I guess that's why I am able to compartmentalize my romantic feelings apart from friendship.

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SAME!! I also value similar views and beliefs. It's very easy for me to cut someone off when we don't share this in common. I am very firm in my beliefs and values and I don't like when others put their beliefs on me or try to change my thinking. I am open to what others think and feel but I rather find someone who thinks the same way I do because I know that will cause major problems down the line. I don't believe in changing others or who they are. I agree with its usually the guys who can't deal with it. I had an ex I was very close with and I wanted to be friends but he always tried to push it to more and It just got uncomfortable where I had to cut him off (mind you he was with someone else at the time) and I don't want to be that person nor was I romantically or sexually attracted to him anymore. I do miss the friendship we had. We went through a lot together. He was my best friend and helped me in ways people even blood-related never did. For me, friendship is so important in a relationship.

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I can so relate to this! I have one ex I will always stay friends with because we went through so much together that no one else even knows about. And we think more alike than anyone else I have ever met. We have a bond no one else could match. But, I think it only works as a friendship because we are distant from each other. He would always go back to the physical attraction when I wasn't into that anymore.

I can still be accepting of people who have really different views and even find common ground with them, but it often ends up being a problem later. I find other people don't put that much emphasis on it and they mistake my acceptance for agreement. And many times people try to use the emotional bond to change what you think. So I prefer to keep my distance or cut things off early if I see a significant difference. I should have done that with my ex who I called about - that was my mistake and I really learned my lesson. We had similar views on some things, but opposite views in the things that were more important.

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i had that issue with a previous ex as well looking back. A lot of things we just didn't have in common and it was ok in the beginning but towards the end made me kinda grow resentment. Lesson learned. My gut said don't in the beginning lol but did anyways. I don't regret it because i grew a lot but def showed me what i don't want next time around.

jhuskindle:
Remind him ending up together could be after two marriages three children and a girlfriend for him, so not to put his life on hold waiting.

aquagirl:
Many years ago when the internet was in its infancy,  an old childhood friend and I reconnected on classmates website.  I didn’t know he had been in love with me all these years. Anyway he told me that some psychic told him we’d end up together and even did a magic spell ensure this would happen. Needless to say free will prevailed lol  he ended up stalking me and I had to block him on all social media years later.  All along he kept saying we were destined to be together ugh.  Now this is a person I never dated nor did I ever consider nor was I ever attracted to them. 

jhuskindle:

--- Quote from: aquagirl on December 30, 2018, 03:30:31 AM ---Many years ago when the internet was in its infancy,  an old childhood friend and I reconnected on classmates website.  I didn’t know he had been in love with me all these years. Anyway he told me that some psychic told him we’d end up together and even did a magic spell ensure this would happen. Needless to say free will prevailed lol  he ended up stalking me and I had to block him on all social media years later.  All along he kept saying we were destined to be together ugh.  Now this is a person I never dated nor did I ever consider nor was I ever attracted to them.

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Good lord! That’s a nightmare. Not gunna lie I’ve had clients that I read for that may be like the boy in this setting, I usually guide them to look for new love but who knows if they will listen to me or another, unless they update me, I don’t,

psychic girls:

--- Quote from: aquagirl on December 30, 2018, 03:30:31 AM ---Many years ago when the internet was in its infancy,  an old childhood friend and I reconnected on classmates website.  I didn’t know he had been in love with me all these years. Anyway he told me that some psychic told him we’d end up together and even did a magic spell ensure this would happen. Needless to say free will prevailed lol  he ended up stalking me and I had to block him on all social media years later.  All along he kept saying we were destined to be together ugh.  Now this is a person I never dated nor did I ever consider nor was I ever attracted to them.

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This is why psychics can mess you up in the head. They must have said to him that you have deep feeling for him and is scared and afraid. They also said she is your twin flame and you are a runner.
We can’t judge them because we are doing the same thing too. Most of the time our poi is not even into us anymore and they put stuff in our head to make us act like that.

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