Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

Ever been someone else’s POI?

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icloud9:
I had dinner with my ex yesterday (we’re friends now. Well.. he is, to me. I have Friend zoned him and he still wants more..) and in the middle of our conversation he tells me he got a tarot reading from this local psychic.  This made me chuckle right away because he is not typically the type of person to engage in such things. He said he was curious because he knows that  I was always interested in occultism and spiritual stuff.  Oh it’s not like he went on these  psychic hotline’s by the way.  (LOL imagine!) He said he was just returning from dinner with his friends and happened to walk by a bookstore that offered readings. (You know-one of those $25 for 15 min reading type of deal.)
Anyways, I couldn’t believe what he said. Apparently this lady told him that there was someone from his past whose description  perfectly fits me  ( physical attributes and personality) and our history together and she told him that we would end up together. He was joking about it because he is still not sold on this whole psychic stuff and views as a little silly,  but he was definitely  serious about the message  and said,  “ you see? I won’t give up on us. even cards  show that we are destined to be together.”
Omg.  And I told him stop being ridiculous and I keep reminding him that I have someone else that I wanna start my life with . Although we sort of laughed it off this seriously alarmed me.

I would love  to know you guys’ opinions on this...
This is why  i’m a little skeptical about tarot readings because I feel like they tend to read our own desires and hopes and fears.

psychic girls:
Don't know how you American does it when we broke up with someone we don't become friends with them we don't even wanted to see them, If you even see them again it will bring so much pain.

star1:

--- Quote from: psychic girls on December 29, 2018, 01:08:41 PM ---Don't know how you American does it when we broke up with someone we don't become friends with them we don't even wanted to see them, If you even see them again it will bring so much pain.

--- End quote ---

Yeah. I've never been able to keep friends with exes, mind you all of my relationships have been toxic so far. It's not just an American thing, I have friends who are friends with exes and I'm British.

ladya:

--- Quote from: star1 on December 29, 2018, 02:00:35 PM ---
--- Quote from: psychic girls on December 29, 2018, 01:08:41 PM ---Don't know how you American does it when we broke up with someone we don't become friends with them we don't even wanted to see them, If you even see them again it will bring so much pain.

--- End quote ---

Yeah. I've never been able to keep friends with exes, mind you all of my relationships have been toxic so far. It's not just an American thing, I have friends who are friends with exes and I'm British.

--- End quote ---

I can stay friends with exes after I've gotten over them not during the getting over period. I think its also cause I jive with men better. I'd never go resurrecting a friendship with anyone else, usually, once people are cut out they're just dead to me. I wouldn't even give them a second glance if I saw them in the street lol. But people I'm romantically involved with are the closest people to me and actually see a side others don't. we always have a really strong friendship bond so its a thing I miss most when things go south.

ladya:

--- Quote from: Still tired on December 29, 2018, 07:12:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on December 29, 2018, 06:10:12 PM ---I can stay friends with exes after I've gotten over them not during the getting over period. I think its also cause I jive with men better. I'd never go resurrecting a friendship with anyone else, usually, once people are cut out they're just dead to me. I wouldn't even give them a second glance if I saw them in the street lol. But people I'm romantically involved with are the closest people to me and actually see a side others don't. we always have a really strong friendship bond so its a thing I miss most when things go south.

--- End quote ---

I'm pretty much the same way. My exes have been some of my closest friends and I really regret losing that if things don't work out romantically. Once I'm over losing the romantic and sexual aspect of it I'm good with being friends. I find it's more often the men who can't deal with it, it hurts their ego to feel that someone who once desired them isn't interested anymore.

Once I cut someone off though I'm done. I can forgive a lot, if a person tries to reconcile with me before I reach that point, and I extend that window pretty exhaustively for people I'm close to. But I'm more likely to cut someone off because they have incompatible views rather than because they hurt me. I value the bond more when we have similar views and beliefs, and I guess that's why I am able to compartmentalize my romantic feelings apart from friendship.

--- End quote ---

SAME!! I also value similar views and beliefs. It's very easy for me to cut someone off when we don't share this in common. I am very firm in my beliefs and values and I don't like when others put their beliefs on me or try to change my thinking. I am open to what others think and feel but I rather find someone who thinks the same way I do because I know that will cause major problems down the line. I don't believe in changing others or who they are. I agree with its usually the guys who can't deal with it. I had an ex I was very close with and I wanted to be friends but he always tried to push it to more and It just got uncomfortable where I had to cut him off (mind you he was with someone else at the time) and I don't want to be that person nor was I romantically or sexually attracted to him anymore. I do miss the friendship we had. We went through a lot together. He was my best friend and helped me in ways people even blood-related never did. For me, friendship is so important in a relationship.

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