Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Super Frustrated and Should Know Better

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star1:

--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on November 28, 2018, 02:53:55 AM ---@Star1: That's some seriously real talk. That is usually how it happens and so what's the point. So, I know what's coming in the next few months........more bullshit and a bit of "reconciling" only to be more bullshit right after. The bullshit just seems to increase and get worse as the years go on. So yeah, what's the point. I'm tired of it all now.

--- End quote ---

And that's how "Still Tired" got their name  lol.

Miss Philosopher:
@Star1: Lmao. That makes sense that's how she got her name. Yeah all disagreements aside, perhaps I was being too abrasive or something. I've been told about my approach. It can be easily misunderstood. I'm working on it. Life lessons for me.

Yeah, even Kisha STILL says "He means well and has the intention of blah blah blah and wants things to work out but he just isn't in a space where he can commit to changing is his life and as long as he makes no changes, you will continue to repeat this same cycle over and over again.". I appreciate her honesty as many times I've called him a narcissist to her and she said "No. I don't get he's a narcissist. He can be very very selfish but he doesn't intentionally try to harm you." I feel that's true but that doesn't change the fact that I'm always getting hurt.

I'm waiting for the new guy and that's it. I've made up my mind. Today that is. It's subject to change tomorrow. Meh. With time I will be more consistent with my decision after all these retrogrades clear up. I know many people probably don't take astrology stuff too seriously. I do and I observe what happens during these times in my whole life, with myself, with others that I know. I'm glad new guy hasn't come in yet cause it's still retrograde so whatever gets started during this time as far as relationships go, usually fizzle out shortly thereafter. Yes, I have issues. Lol.

star1:

--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on November 28, 2018, 03:19:20 AM ---@Star1: Lmao. That makes sense that's how she got her name. Yeah all disagreements aside, perhaps I was being too abrasive or something. I've been told about my approach. It can be easily misunderstood. I'm working on it. Life lessons for me.

Yeah, even Kisha STILL says "He means well and has the intention of blah blah blah and wants things to work out but he just isn't in a space where he can commit to changing is his life and as long as he makes no changes, you will continue to repeat this same cycle over and over again.". I appreciate her honesty as many times I've called him a narcissist to her and she said "No. I don't get he's a narcissist. He can be very very selfish but he doesn't intentionally try to harm you." I feel that's true but that doesn't change the fact that I'm always getting hurt.

I'm waiting for the new guy and that's it. I've made up my mind. Today that is. It's subject to change tomorrow. Meh. With time I will be more consistent with my decision after all these retrogrades clear up. I know many people probably don't take astrology stuff too seriously. I do and I observe what happens during these times in my whole life, with myself, with others that I know. I'm glad new guy hasn't come in yet cause it's still retrograde so whatever gets started during this time as far as relationships go, usually fizzle out shortly thereafter. Yes, I have issues. Lol.

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That is where I disagree with Kisha. From what you have posted about him on here so far, it sounds very narcissistic and toxic. I would know, because other ex was like it and he would throw breadcrumbs, disappear for months, turn up like nothing happened expecting motherly love and other material stuff. I have to be frank, it's concerning that she condones his treatment of you, because if she condones it, your mind automatically will think "Ah poor him, it's not his fault. Even Kisha said he isn't a bad guy", etc.

I do hope that you get to meet this new guy and start afresh, or a lightening bolt strikes this one on the head lol.

star1:

--- Quote from: Still tired on November 28, 2018, 03:57:44 AM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on November 28, 2018, 02:52:14 AM ---@stilltired: I completely agree. I wish I would have listened to it 5 years ago. But, because of psychic readings, I didn't. I was talking to other readers besides my go to's at that time. 5 years ago it told me to steer clear and I felt like I knew how he was but I ignored it, made excuses and told myself that it wasn't fair to judge without experiencing first.

7 months ago, my gut said it was the last time I'd see said person again either forever, or for a very long time to come. Not sure if that was just my gut knowing that I'd had enough way back then, or something else. Either way, I felt it so strongly. It's hard for me to get outside of my emotions though and really "hear" my gut. This has always been a problem for me.

--- End quote ---

Same here...my gut told me all along but I didn't trust it. And I was calling about the same guy for about 5-6 years. I called about other things too and it's not like it was all about him. But I mean, it went on way too long. I listened to what readers said instead of trusting my own instincts, and their advice was all over the place. It was like I was on some horrible roller coaster that flipped me upside down constantly and I lost all sense of where the ground was.

I learned to trust myself a lot more though. It's like finally there was nothing left anymore except this deep, unshakable knowing that this would never work out. I'm not saying that has to be the outcome everyone comes to, but what I mean is eventually all the things readers told you just fall away. And you're left with the essential truth of the situation, whatever that may be.

I used to be really hard on myself, after I listened to some nonsense from a reader or had a binge or otherwise did something I felt stupid about. A lot of us have been there. I regret all of it, but it brought me to where I am now. I am also 40. And all if what happened with readings and my ex is starting to feel like another lifetime ago. I feel like life has other things in store for me now.

--- End quote ---

If I could describe readings in one word, roller-coaster. You have the highs when you get told something good, but then you feel hopeless again so have the lows and the negative readings. Then ignoring your own gut when it's screaming at you - BIG mistake.

Miss Philosopher:
I'm sorry you had to go through that stilltired. I'll be 41 end of January. I'm very very tired. I just want peace even if it means single for the rest of my life. I'm totally fine with that as long as I don't have that drain anymore. One day, coming very very soon, I will be at the point where you are. I'm 90% there. I'm just really tired, like I said, on a soul level.

@Star1: Yes it's a terrible roller coaster emotionally. Even when you get a mixed negative/positive reading...........more time goes by with nothing happening and then you get another reading..............and then the moment something does happen you then go and get another reading to see what's coming up. I think, as you've said before and many others as well, looking at the behavior of POI in the here and now and reviewing the patterns of said POI from the start to now.......is what we have to go by and make our decisions on that. I don't know. I know that I call because in some twisted way, it helps me get by until I reach the point where I'm done on my own. Maybe that makes me weak but that's what I do. Maybe someday I will find another way. I will start looking.
'

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