Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story
No man worth your time is worth all of this heartache
ladya:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:41:58 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 05:32:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:15:15 PM ---My first POI had tons of issues too, involving kids as well. Still no excuse as to why he treated me the way he did.
I had so much sympathy and empathy for him but he really did not deserve it
--- End quote ---
Yep. I completely agree. Situations even with kids doesn't mean one has to be treated like utter shit.
--- End quote ---
I know. there really is no excuse.
At the end of the day, we all have our issues and problems. It doesn't give us free reign though to mistreat others or ignore others who mean something to us.
My mistake with first guy was fooling myself into believing he could eventually offer me what I wanted and needed from a man. the readings egged this on (and that is why I am so against them for the most part now)....the constant "he will come around", "he will realize what he wants"; "he will come forward and make changes"...he never did.
He was pretty honest with me too about what he could or couldn't offer at the time. I chose to wait around and for that I will forever regret. But it taught me a lot that's for sure. that's why second guy got cut off with a quickness when I saw similar patterns.
--- End quote ---
did your intuition tell you he would come around or not?
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: ladya on January 28, 2019, 05:46:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:41:58 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 05:32:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:15:15 PM ---My first POI had tons of issues too, involving kids as well. Still no excuse as to why he treated me the way he did.
I had so much sympathy and empathy for him but he really did not deserve it
--- End quote ---
Yep. I completely agree. Situations even with kids doesn't mean one has to be treated like utter shit.
--- End quote ---
I know. there really is no excuse.
At the end of the day, we all have our issues and problems. It doesn't give us free reign though to mistreat others or ignore others who mean something to us.
My mistake with first guy was fooling myself into believing he could eventually offer me what I wanted and needed from a man. the readings egged this on (and that is why I am so against them for the most part now)....the constant "he will come around", "he will realize what he wants"; "he will come forward and make changes"...he never did.
He was pretty honest with me too about what he could or couldn't offer at the time. I chose to wait around and for that I will forever regret. But it taught me a lot that's for sure. that's why second guy got cut off with a quickness when I saw similar patterns.
--- End quote ---
did your intuition tell you he would come around or not?
--- End quote ---
yes my intuition told me he would come around, and he did always come around, but never offered me what I wanted or needed. So I had to break that pattern and stop wasting my time.
ladya:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:48:36 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on January 28, 2019, 05:46:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:41:58 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 05:32:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:15:15 PM ---My first POI had tons of issues too, involving kids as well. Still no excuse as to why he treated me the way he did.
I had so much sympathy and empathy for him but he really did not deserve it
--- End quote ---
Yep. I completely agree. Situations even with kids doesn't mean one has to be treated like utter shit.
--- End quote ---
I know. there really is no excuse.
At the end of the day, we all have our issues and problems. It doesn't give us free reign though to mistreat others or ignore others who mean something to us.
My mistake with first guy was fooling myself into believing he could eventually offer me what I wanted and needed from a man. the readings egged this on (and that is why I am so against them for the most part now)....the constant "he will come around", "he will realize what he wants"; "he will come forward and make changes"...he never did.
He was pretty honest with me too about what he could or couldn't offer at the time. I chose to wait around and for that I will forever regret. But it taught me a lot that's for sure. that's why second guy got cut off with a quickness when I saw similar patterns.
--- End quote ---
did your intuition tell you he would come around or not?
--- End quote ---
yes my intuition told me he would come around, and he did always come around, but never offered me what I wanted or needed. So I had to break that pattern and stop wasting my time.
--- End quote ---
i meant come around in the way you needed. not just check in.
sawthelight:
In the beginning, I held out a lot of hope that he would change..and the readers (some that you love in fact) told me the same. Yes I did believe we would be together for a long while. I would say only at the beginning of last year I really started to doubt. I pretty much gave up by spring time...But I started reading on Keen about him in 2014! and it took that long to get over him.
My intuition was skewed by readings, and I felt I cold no longer trust it after a while. I'm past that now and see clearer, thank God.
Miss Philosopher:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:41:58 PM ---
--- Quote from: Miss Philosopher on January 28, 2019, 05:32:49 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on January 28, 2019, 05:15:15 PM ---My first POI had tons of issues too, involving kids as well. Still no excuse as to why he treated me the way he did.
I had so much sympathy and empathy for him but he really did not deserve it
--- End quote ---
Yep. I completely agree. Situations even with kids doesn't mean one has to be treated like utter shit.
--- End quote ---
I know. there really is no excuse.
At the end of the day, we all have our issues and problems. It doesn't give us free reign though to mistreat others or ignore others who mean something to us.
My mistake with first guy was fooling myself into believing he could eventually offer me what I wanted and needed from a man. the readings egged this on (and that is why I am so against them for the most part now)....the constant "he will come around", "he will realize what he wants"; "he will come forward and make changes"...he never did.
He was pretty honest with me too about what he could or couldn't offer at the time. I chose to wait around and for that I will forever regret. But it taught me a lot that's for sure. that's why second guy got cut off with a quickness when I saw similar patterns.
--- End quote ---
Yeah I totally get why you would shun readings. I used to have a ton of readings outside of who I read with now that would do that. "Oh yeah he'll get it together" blah blah. But, my go tos would tell me that he will not change for an extended period of time. The thing that kept me hanging on though was their comments about "He means well, but he's just not in the position to make changes right now". So the whole thing about him meaning well.......I decided ok well if he doesn't have horrid intentions maybe I can just stick around and wait it out and maybe it'll be worth it in a few more years cause maybe he just needs to be around someone that can teach him different things. But, nope. No changes, same patterns, and all the "meaning well" in the world doesn't change shitty behaviors. To add to this, how the hell does someone "mean well" when they are cheating and lying and doing self serving shit? I could NEVER understand that part of it. I think the times he would come back around, that perhaps he "meant well" for those 5 minutes, but he just has such terrible habits and he never sticks to anything so maybe that's what they meant be "mean well". Lol. Idk.
I would definitely cut off another with the quickness now if I saw anything even close to the same type of crap. So, there's definitely a reason for these experiences we have. I know this one taught me about boundaries, self love, and self respect, albeit a very painful lesson.
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