Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Staying friends with someone you love
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 12:17:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:24:12 AM ---I'm not sure if men and women can really be friends at all. I used to think so but experience taught me otherwise. I think you can be friendly within certain limits but not really friends.
--- End quote ---
You can be friends if neither party is not attracted to one another. Otherwise yeah, it could be very hard.
--- End quote ---
Yea, that's the big problem...we are so ridiculously attracted to each other, but I just feel it's not going to lead into any kind of relationship. I guess in time we can see, but for now, I think my feelings are too strong to really be his friend.
The only good thing (kinda) is that I won't be seeing him as much anymore (we work in close proximity to each other and my company is moving elsewhere), so that might help distance me from this whole thing. I hope, anyway.
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on May 18, 2018, 04:03:04 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 12:17:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:24:12 AM ---I'm not sure if men and women can really be friends at all. I used to think so but experience taught me otherwise. I think you can be friendly within certain limits but not really friends.
--- End quote ---
You can be friends if neither party is not attracted to one another. Otherwise yeah, it could be very hard.
--- End quote ---
Yea, that's the big problem...we are so ridiculously attracted to each other, but I just feel it's not going to lead into any kind of relationship. I guess in time we can see, but for now, I think my feelings are too strong to really be his friend.
The only good thing (kinda) is that I won't be seeing him as much anymore (we work in close proximity to each other and my company is moving elsewhere), so that might help distance me from this whole thing. I hope, anyway.
--- End quote ---
If you haven't already talked to him about it, I think you should just calmly bring it up. If he doesn't give you the answer that you want, you can then distance yourself from him and move forward. Otherwise you're probably going to drive yourself crazy for more months to come.
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:53:09 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 12:17:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:24:12 AM ---I'm not sure if men and women can really be friends at all. I used to think so but experience taught me otherwise. I think you can be friendly within certain limits but not really friends.
--- End quote ---
You can be friends if neither party is not attracted to one another. Otherwise yeah, it could be very hard.
--- End quote ---
There is always sexual tension whether people think they are attracted or not. The only way it can work is when couples are friends with other couples and no one involved has any intention of leaving their partner. But even then you are playing with fire. If one or both are single then they will always be wondering if the other is interested or flirting or starting to have feelings for them. Unless you both state openly that there is no attraction and what kind of friendship is it anyway when you have to say that to each other?
--- End quote ---
I've had a couple of successful and drama-stress free friendships with men. Others have been people I see only as a friend but then they sexually approached me at one point so then it became awkward.
Kate:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 11:22:48 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:53:09 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 12:17:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:24:12 AM ---I'm not sure if men and women can really be friends at all. I used to think so but experience taught me otherwise. I think you can be friendly within certain limits but not really friends.
--- End quote ---
You can be friends if neither party is not attracted to one another. Otherwise yeah, it could be very hard.
--- End quote ---
There is always sexual tension whether people think they are attracted or not. The only way it can work is when couples are friends with other couples and no one involved has any intention of leaving their partner. But even then you are playing with fire. If one or both are single then they will always be wondering if the other is interested or flirting or starting to have feelings for them. Unless you both state openly that there is no attraction and what kind of friendship is it anyway when you have to say that to each other?
--- End quote ---
I've had a couple of successful and drama-stress free friendships with men. Others have been people I see only as a friend but then they sexually approached me at one point so then it became awkward.
--- End quote ---
Most of my friends are men.... :-/ There's no sexual tension there... I call and see them regularly
ladya:
--- Quote from: Kate on May 18, 2018, 11:35:27 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 11:22:48 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:53:09 PM ---
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 18, 2018, 12:17:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:24:12 AM ---I'm not sure if men and women can really be friends at all. I used to think so but experience taught me otherwise. I think you can be friendly within certain limits but not really friends.
--- End quote ---
You can be friends if neither party is not attracted to one another. Otherwise yeah, it could be very hard.
--- End quote ---
There is always sexual tension whether people think they are attracted or not. The only way it can work is when couples are friends with other couples and no one involved has any intention of leaving their partner. But even then you are playing with fire. If one or both are single then they will always be wondering if the other is interested or flirting or starting to have feelings for them. Unless you both state openly that there is no attraction and what kind of friendship is it anyway when you have to say that to each other?
--- End quote ---
I've had a couple of successful and drama-stress free friendships with men. Others have been people I see only as a friend but then they sexually approached me at one point so then it became awkward.
--- End quote ---
Most of my friends are men.... :-/ There's no sexual tension there... I call and see them regularly
--- End quote ---
same. i feel i relate better to men than women. men have been far better friends to me throughout my life than females. i don't really have much luck with keeping female friendships. they always get weirdly competitive with me over time and try to bring me down or get clingy and dependent idk. i've been f'ked over by way too many - its been a weird pattern in my life so i just keep majority at acquaintance level and its been good that way.
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