Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Staying friends with someone you love
Hillcam:
--- Quote from: sawthelight on May 17, 2018, 02:38:46 PM ---
--- Quote from: Hillcam on May 17, 2018, 01:39:17 AM ---I’m in the same situation with my most recent POI. heard from him today and he said he’s unable to give me what I need from him but he still cares for me and wants me to be a part of his kid’s lives.
I don’t think it’s possible to be friends with someone you love. Maybe once you’ve stopped caring as much and wanting the relationship it’s possible, but for me, if I want to be with you and love you I can’t be your friend. It’s too hard to differentiate for me
--- End quote ---
Yea, I am kind of in the same boat :(
It's hard to imagine him not in my life, but painful to have him in it too. I don't know how to distance myself without cutting him off completely. It's hard situation.
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My advice is to give it a shot. If you can’t imagine him being your life, there’s no harm in making an effort to be his friend. If after a couple of weeks if you’re finding it hard to set your feelings aside then reevaluate the situation. Good luck!
maroonlight:
If you love him and you stay friends with him, I honestly think you are likely setting yourself up for heartbreak. It’s ultimately your decision and sure it could work out, but I’m most cases that I know of it makes it a lot harder to get over them emotionally and if they don’t want to date you and you stay friends with them, the day may come when they begin dating someone else.
So yeah, it’s not something I recommend when one person want more than the other one. If your already hooked on them, you’ll stay hooked on them because they are still vividly in your life.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 17, 2018, 10:59:11 PM ---If you love him and you stay friends with him, I honestly think you are likely setting yourself up for heartbreak. It’s ultimately your decision and sure it could work out, but I’m most cases that I know of it makes it a lot harder to get over them emotionally and if they don’t want to date you and you stay friends with them, the day may come when they begin dating someone else.
So yeah, it’s not something I recommend when one person want more than the other one. If your already hooked on them, you’ll stay hooked on them because they are still vividly in your life.
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Sigh. You’re right
Hillcam:
--- Quote from: maroonlight on May 17, 2018, 10:59:11 PM ---If you love him and you stay friends with him, I honestly think you are likely setting yourself up for heartbreak. It’s ultimately your decision and sure it could work out, but I’m most cases that I know of it makes it a lot harder to get over them emotionally and if they don’t want to date you and you stay friends with them, the day may come when they begin dating someone else.
So yeah, it’s not something I recommend when one person want more than the other one. If your already hooked on them, you’ll stay hooked on them because they are still vividly in your life.
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Very true. :(
maroonlight:
--- Quote from: Still tired on May 18, 2018, 03:24:12 AM ---I'm not sure if men and women can really be friends at all. I used to think so but experience taught me otherwise. I think you can be friendly within certain limits but not really friends.
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You can be friends if neither party is not attracted to one another. Otherwise yeah, it could be very hard.
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