Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Staying friends with someone you love
sawthelight:
Do you guys think this is possible?
This guy I’m getting readings on, I know he cares...I know he likes me. I don’t, however see him making any comments that make me think he wants to persue a relationship...at least not directly.
So I’ve basically resigned myself that nothing will happen with him, despite all the readings telling me otherwise.
I don’t know if being friends is doable. I guess I can try but what do you guys think?
One time when I cut him off he got really upset, and he didn’t do anything (yet lol) to deserve that.
Hillcam:
I’m in the same situation with my most recent POI. heard from him today and he said he’s unable to give me what I need from him but he still cares for me and wants me to be a part of his kid’s lives.
I don’t think it’s possible to be friends with someone you love. Maybe once you’ve stopped caring as much and wanting the relationship it’s possible, but for me, if I want to be with you and love you I can’t be your friend. It’s too hard to differentiate for me
alphabetsoup:
You can be friends with someone you love, as long as they are not triggering you. If you are yearning for a relationship with POI and it's costing you, then you need to walk away. Ask yourself, are you trying to get love from this person? If you are, then you can't be friends. You have to be 100% alright with giving love and friendship and not expect anything in return.
scarlora:
I'm nearly positive i would be over my ex if we didn't share kids. I never had an issue getting over someone before, mostly because I could avoid them. Then I became friends eith many of them a few months later when feelings were gone.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Hillcam on May 17, 2018, 01:39:17 AM ---I’m in the same situation with my most recent POI. heard from him today and he said he’s unable to give me what I need from him but he still cares for me and wants me to be a part of his kid’s lives.
I don’t think it’s possible to be friends with someone you love. Maybe once you’ve stopped caring as much and wanting the relationship it’s possible, but for me, if I want to be with you and love you I can’t be your friend. It’s too hard to differentiate for me
--- End quote ---
Yea, I am kind of in the same boat :(
It's hard to imagine him not in my life, but painful to have him in it too. I don't know how to distance myself without cutting him off completely. It's hard situation.
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