Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

POI gets a reading on me

<< < (2/3) > >>

marciamia:

--- Quote from: sawthelight on March 22, 2018, 05:24:48 PM ---
--- Quote from: njlady on March 22, 2018, 05:13:36 PM ---There is a guy who posts on this board and gets loads of sympathy from people about his POI leading him on because of the feelings she supposedly has for him (per certain psychics) when she has him blocked 97% of the time and your situation is exactly what I think of when he posts, with you being in that woman's shoes.

--- End quote ---

I thought the same thing!!

--- End quote ---
Oh gosh yesssss  ;D ;D

helloworld:
The intention of this post was not to pick on another person but rather to reflect on something I have been guilty too of in the past. I have over imagined things to be more when they were nothing but casual and called psychics incessantly because I "needed" their false hope to continue living in my fantasy world. Then one inconsequential move from a POI would make me believe that's a sign and the psychics could be right.

Hearing a reading about me was timely because it reinforces what I've known all along but sometimes choose to be ignorant of - if a person is into you, you will know it. If he's not calling you and making plans to see you, it's a sign and the process to move on should begin. If he's afraid of commitments, insecure, etc., it still is a sign. Move on. Don't make excuses for him, it's not worth it.

Calling psychics makes us attached to the situation but as much as it hurts, the effort of letting go makes us more balanced and hopefully, wiser. Then if this person were to re-appear, we would be in a much healthier frame of mind to determine if we really want them in our life. In most of my cases, I was more in love with the idea of being in love rather than actually being in love with the specific person. So when a nice, decent man would date me, I would start fantasizing a life with him much before I really got to know him. I can now say these things after years of working on myself and my insecurities. I am still a work in progress but nonetheless, I am way better than I was.

Most importantly, huge lesson learned and it keeps manifesting in various ways - LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! From day one, I knew this man was off but couldn't point out exactly why so I went on a few dates with him... well, the reasons are now clear.



--- Quote from: FlutterShy on March 22, 2018, 06:38:45 PM ---I really hope you told him clearly do not contact you again, that you do not have a romantic interest. Then again I wouldn’t blame you for ghosting the guy... we’re allowed to ghost one right?  :P

--- End quote ---

Here is what I did - I called him and told him I don't want to mislead him and I can't see us working out in the long term, I asked we not keep in touch. Then I removed him from my social media. It wasn't pretty and I won't be surprised if he sends me a few texts later lashing back but at least my conscious is clear. I thought of ghosting but as bad the situation may be, I wouldn't want anyone to ghost me so that's why I didn't.

sawthelight:

--- Quote from: helloworld on March 22, 2018, 06:48:15 PM ---The intention of this post was not to pick on another person but rather to reflect on something I have been guilty too of in the past. I have over imagined things to be more when they were nothing but casual and called psychics incessantly because I "needed" their false hope to continue living in my fantasy world. Then one inconsequential move from a POI would make me believe that's a sign and the psychics could be right.

Hearing a reading about me was timely because it reinforces what I've known all along but sometimes choose to be ignorant of - if a person is into you, you will know it. If he's not calling you and making plans to see you, it's a sign and the process to move on should begin. If he's afraid of commitments, insecure, etc., it still is a sign. Move on. Don't make excuses for him, it's not worth it.

Calling psychics makes us attached to the situation but as much as it hurts, the effort of letting go makes us more balanced and hopefully, wiser. Then if this person were to re-appear, we would be in a much healthier frame of mind to determine if we really want them in our life. In most of my cases, I was more in love with the idea of being in love rather than actually being in love with the specific person. So when a nice, decent man would date me, I would start fantasizing a life with him much before I really got to know him. I can now say these things after years of working on myself and my insecurities. I am still a work in progress but nonetheless, I am way better than I was.

Most importantly, huge lesson learned and it keeps manifesting in various ways - LISTEN TO YOUR GUT! From day one, I knew this man was off but couldn't point out exactly why so I went on a few dates with him... well, the reasons are now clear.



--- Quote from: FlutterShy on March 22, 2018, 06:38:45 PM ---I really hope you told him clearly do not contact you again, that you do not have a romantic interest. Then again I wouldn’t blame you for ghosting the guy... we’re allowed to ghost one right?  :P

--- End quote ---

Here is what I did - I called him and told him I don't want to mislead him and I can't see us working out in the long term, I asked we not keep in touch. Then I removed him from my social media. It wasn't pretty and I won't be surprised if he sends me a few texts later lashing back but at least my conscious is clear. I thought of ghosting but as bad the situation may be, I wouldn't want anyone to ghost me so that's why I didn't.

--- End quote ---

GREAT post and one I should read over and over. 

I can also so relate to it.  I also looked at every little inconsequential thing as progress, and some kind of validation that the psychics were right, when nothing progressed significantly at all, and I was living in a fantasy world THEY created and all it would take was one negative reading or one dumb move from POI to throw me into a tailspin.

helloworld:
I have a request for those commenting on the forum member whose story is similar to that of the POI mentioned in this post. Please let's not digress and keep this post productive. Like I mentioned earlier, I shared my experience more as a reflection to show how readings can jade our judgment. My intention was that this post could be of use to other members. If you must talk about another member, kindly use PM and not the public forum so that we can keep posts productive, and on track. Thanks in advance.

njlady:

--- Quote from: helloworld on March 23, 2018, 12:19:25 AM ---I have a request for those commenting on the forum member whose story is similar to that of the POI mentioned in this post. Please let's not digress and keep this post productive. Like I mentioned earlier, I shared my experience more as a reflection to show how readings can jade our judgment. My intention was that this post could be of use to other members. If you must talk about another member, kindly use PM and not the public forum so that we can keep posts productive, and on track. Thanks in advance.

--- End quote ---

It is productive and no one was disrespectful.  If more people put themselves in a pair of POI's shoes, there would be a whole lot less compulsive calling going on.

Your situation is a perfect example (and lesson) about keeping it real, listening to your POI instead of living in your head, keeping a healthy perspective and using common sense. 

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page