Relationship Psychology Discussions > My Story

My Story...I need some support from the only ppl who get it

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Susie1976:
Hi Everyone my name is Sue, I wanted to share my story so here I go please bare with me. I'm a single 41 year old mom. My daughter will be 20 in august. I got divorced at 29. From 30-39 I've had a range of Bad to ehhh relationships.  However, every time I broke up with one of them I never went back. I never had a desire to. Until I meant "P"! I meant him in November 2016. He's a little older then me by 8 years no biggie.  We hit it off automatically.  I fell in love with him within weeks it was so easy.  He was a true gentleman and had a gentle heart. Was sincere and treated me like gold. He want perfect but who is? He had just had his divorce papers finalized when we met and it was a fine deal he had been separated for two by then.  This man has been through hell and back! He had a bad childhood. Poor thing suffered a lot of abuse.  Then he married a woman who was horrible and then cheated on him multiple times.  He is somewhat broken but still a sweetheart! He was going to therapy and he said it really helped him. About three months into our relationship he said he needed to take a step back bc he was having anxiety and he wasn't as ready as he thought he was. However he said he didn't want to lose me in his life, he didn't want to date anyone else that if he were to date it was gonna be with me.  I know that sounds off but he was def sincere. This was March 4.  He is also miserable in his job and was waiting to here from a new place. So he had a lot against him. I'm not making excuses for home but this guy doesn't play games so I had to respect his decision.  But I'm no fool. I don't call him or text if he wants to talk to me he has to reach out.  So since March we talk about once a week. We have even seen each other twice since then. It's weird bc when we are together it's like we are back to what we were before (but no sex! Just hanging out). He has stated that he misses me a lot but is messed up.  That's were $6000.00 in two months of Pyschics calls come in! I never felt like this before for someone. He has taken over my brain. I don't call him so I need to call CP or Keen.  Majority see us getting back together, very few said other wise.  I love this man soo much.  I saw him Friday for a belated bday dinner and he invited to a concert in September and kept saying this isn't the last time we are gonna see each other bc I was joking about the distance between us.  I've called so many on CP but the ones I go back to are Dave, Jacqueline and William....I recently read with Gina Rose too who is impossible to get in her que. They all see us eventually being together again. In my heart I do too. But I don't walk around with rose colored glasses I know ppl have free will and can change I'm not a kid.  I guess I just need to reach out and talk to you guys too.  I love this man. What do you guys think?

HornetKick:
I really feel for you girl and this is just my opinion. As hard as it is, STOP calling psychics. They will have you strung out like you are on crack. You should sit down and have a heart to heart with Mr. Wonderful. Although he is working on trying to get his act together, you are being kept in limbo and you need more than that. You have to put your needs on the table too.

This situation isn’t one sided. Ask him where does all his repairs leave you and what’s the cutoff date for when you two will be one again. The waiting and wondering will make you insane. Of course this is a touchy subject, but that happens with feelings.

The reason you are calling psychics is because you don’t want to lose him and you don’t know where to step because that eggshell may crack. That is the risk you’ll have to take even if you lose him. It’s like he is saying one thing and then doing another (it’s a bone). He doesn’t want another person to step into his shoes, so he keeps you in the wings.

I have no doubt he loves you, but this on hold crap doesn’t even feel good to me and I’m not in the relationship. You deserve so much more and all of this is easier said than done, so ultimately it’s up to you. Good luck!

bstalling:
Agree with Hornet. Start to see him less and slowly start dating other guys. Its just never healthy to be on hold with someone..because they ultimately may not
get it together. Ever. And stop calling psychics.

Susie1976:
It's true about calling psychics it's like a drug.  You call them they make you feel better and you feel like you are on a high and then literally the next day you need a "fix" again. It so addictive.  I know I deserve better I didn't do anything to deserve any of this. I was 1000% there for him, yes so was he but I have my shit together. I k ow what I want.  It's just so frustrating, I know he cares or he would have left and never called me
Again but this does suck and hurts. I started to take dance classes (bachata) so I could do something fun and meet more ppl. They have socials every weekend which I'm going to this weekend.  I'm gonna give someone a chance if they ask. I just wish I could stop loving him like I do, it's not easy.

Love-33:

--- Quote from: Susie1976 on May 09, 2017, 02:00:24 AM ---It's true about calling psychics it's like a drug.  You call them they make you feel better and you feel like you are on a high and then literally the next day you need a "fix" again. It so addictive.  I know I deserve better I didn't do anything to deserve any of this. I was 1000% there for him, yes so was he but I have my shit together. I k ow what I want.  It's just so frustrating, I know he cares or he would have left and never called me
Again but this does suck and hurts. I started to take dance classes (bachata) so I could do something fun and meet more ppl. They have socials every weekend which I'm going to this weekend.  I'm gonna give someone a chance if they ask. I just wish I could stop loving him like I do, it's not easy.

--- End quote ---

You need to have a discussion with this man. He is actin very selfish right now. Tell him that you suffer a lot because of this. Tell him you can't put your life on standby mode for ages.
Tell him: together now or never, and see what he says. But don't spend your life waiting like that

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