Ways to heal

[Cfisher]

@scorpiogirl - Russell, Russell? Somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!!! *with a manly Indian voice and a pointing at the person* bah ha ha ha ha!!! And he's such a proud Canadian! Love Russell peters! Seriously guys/ladies, if you want to laugh your ass off, download *Red, White and Brown* I saw him in concert for that one, way too funny!

@oby1konobie- sorry, I cannot for the life of me spell out your username! So I made a funny about it instead, Steve G. Jones, hypnotist. I think I will check that out actually. Thanks for the input!

[curiousgirl]

Looking back at my experiences, I would have told myself to not try and jump back into the dating game when I was still in love and hurting from my ex. It all ended in disaster and I narrowly escaped some terrible situation.

Stay alone, deal with your feelings and life no matter how long it takes, and get stronger in whatever way is good for you. Plan your life for you till you really are happy and ok again. Once you are, things will happen then! They do!

Baggage Reclaim is amazing, read it like a bible.

If you're wounded, you will never have a chance at being whole and well again until you heal...take all the time in the world to allow that to happen. It's the most important thing. The answers lie within yourself, not with readers or friends or anything. You can get info from books and help from forums and friends, but ultimately the healing will come from you.

[whiteangel]

I just wanted to say thank you for posting about baggage reclaim. I feel like I've looked at the blog/site before but for whatever reason this time I was ready for the information. I started reading her book about the fantasy relationship and wow, that's got some powerful stuff in it, I'm hoping this 'reality check' will actually be one important piece of the puzzle that will lead me down a path of not choosing to continue to fuel a fantasy by getting readings that keep me 'hooked' in despite all evidence and common sense (and my own dreams and intuitions).  At some point I'll share my positive and negative experiences with the readers I've used.  Mostly psychics from CP but I've been getting readings for most of my life...  Anyway, thank you, this book has been helpful and I've only just started it.

[Cfisher]

Here's another one you may find helpful: www.lisaescott.com

She married a narsacisst control freak of a guy and got out of it and healed.

Many, many women on there have dealt with terrible guys and are on the path to healing. One step at a time, right?

Good luck and big hugs

[BellaLife]

I can relate, esp the latter part. Thank you for this post......... I am going to try it!

[bluebelle]

Aww...thanks hun! 

Yea, I know what you mean about having contact with them. It does make it difficult and you find yourself holding on and clinging to that. I think it really hit me when I realized how dare this man go from marriage to friend?? overnight??

It doesn't make sense and is complete disrespect to me. Oh and also that he didn't apologize. huh?

Yea not acceptable.

It was a huge step for me to walk away and was not advisable from Kisha and Sapphire...but to be honest. I feel better now than how I would have felt if I was still in contact with him. I've officially started healing and we really do need that time away from them.

Maybe one day we can be friends, but not right now. It's a blow to my self respect to allow someone to stay in my life when he did what he did.
It's like, "oh ok, sure you broke my heart, but here, you deserve my friendship because you are just that great of a chap."
Nope - Wrong!

It is so hard to do right by you sometimes and sometimes, the best decision is what our mind and logic says than what our heart is screaming at the moment...but in the end, you will have your self respect and that my friend is nothing that man can take from you!

Gosh I know this is an old thread, but this post and others in it have resonated so much with me.  I have been feeling the same exact way!  I refuse to talk to this man now at all, I don't want to be his friend, nothing, UNLESS he comes thru with a big apology and some real stuff.  And having him in my life was making me feel like crap anyway, so what the heck is the point???

[tired of it all]

The way things played out with my previous ex - the one I got started calling psychics about back in 2007 when I signed up on Keen - after stonewalling me for over 3 years, suddenly he wanted to be friends with me, said he was going through a rough time and could really "use" a friend...I told him no, because you haven't been much of a friend to me.  Rather than seeing it from my perspective, or apologizing, or at least taking it gracefully, he went in attack mode, and his last words to me before hanging up the phone were "you're dead to me." 

Of course this was after most of the psychics had told me we would get back together, one had even told me we would start out being friends first so we could talk things over and gradually ease back into a relationship.  In my mind though, all of that was conditional on him changing his abusive behavior and making amends for it.   When I finally heard from him again I could tell he hadn't changed at all, and just wanted to go on blaming me for his behavior, so a friendship was totally out of the question, much less anything more. 

I think some of these readers have a real blind spot to how these men really operate psychologically, it makes me question if they are in abusive relationships themselves, are themselves abusive, or are so lovesick over someone they want to be with that it distorts their entire perspective. 

[moonlight412]

This is a great post! Sorry, I am going over all the old posts today, but finding some real good links and information...

The thing which helped me heal is time and faith. I have to see my POI daily at work, and be nice with him even after the way he treated me.. it was super tough! I went into depression, would cry for hours, take days off, it was HORRIBLE! I feel sooooo better now and so proud of myself..

Am I over him? No, not really. I still do love him, but I don't want anything to do with him.. It's the love I have in my heart. He is not good for me, I realized it later and fell in love before..so I am not going to beat myself up for being in love, but I am just keeping this love in my heart and learning to being open to other possibilities..

Last year, my love for him was obsessive, I wanted him back in my life. I would get super upset if I will get the hint he is seeing someone else..but now it's opposite- I don't care what he does. I was and am honest, loving, caring..and sorry for you to have missed that!

EFT Tapping helped me tons! I joined a local meetup group and did videos on youtube by Brad Yates. Listened to Subliminal messages by Vortex Success and Rockstar affirmations. Sleep Hypnosis by Michael Sealy, etc.. all of it has changed my life for better. It was a slow process but such an amazing journey..

In fact, now I think, that my POI came to my life because I was meant to learn all this stuff and learn to love myself more.

[bluebelle]

OH gosh I just started reading the baggagereclaim site and it's AMAZING.  I'm glad someone recommended it.