A Personal Update About the Forum

[admin]

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been reading your posts, and I truly understand the frustration . When you come here and the site is down, it feels discouragin g — especially for those of you who have been part of this community for years.

This forum was started in 2011. That’s over 15 years of conversatio ns, friendships, support, shared stories, laughter, disagreemen ts, growth — all of it. For many of you, this isn’t just a website. It’s a familiar space. A place you’ve returned to again and again.

The recent downtime was caused by technical server limitations, not by any specific member or moderation activity. At times, the database system was hitting its limits and automatical ly restarting, which is why you saw those error messages.

Since then, we’ve:

• Stabilized and fully reset the database
• Increased memory and adjusted system limits
• Optimized background processes
• Verified server health and storage
• Added monitoring so we’re alerted immediately if something begins to spike
• Begun planning longer-term infrastruct ure improvement s

The goal is simple: reliability and continuity.

I also want to sincerely thank those who offered to help moderate. That willingness to step up says so much about this community. The recent issue wasn’t related to moderation, but your care for the space truly means a lot.

And I want to say this clearly: this forum is not going anywhere.
We are not shutting down. We are not abandoning it. The focus right now is strengtheni ng it so it can continue well into the future.

Communities like this don’t last over a decade without meaning something to people. That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because of the members here who show up, share openly, support one another, and keep conversatio ns alive.

Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your loyalty. Thank you for being here. 💛

— Admin

[gemmaasks]

Thank you for explaining the issue. The another main issue we are constantly experiencin g is the harassment from a certain user who would make new accounts to come back and harass us. I have repeatedly reported you, the admin about this but no action.

Is there a procedure placed for this? If you need help with monitoring this site with limit admin access like blocking certain users, I’m happy to help.

Hi Everyone,

I’ve been reading your posts, and I truly understand the frustration . When you come here and the site is down, it feels discouragin g — especially for those of you who have been part of this community for years.

This forum was started in 2011. That’s over 15 years of conversatio ns, friendships, support, shared stories, laughter, disagreemen ts, growth — all of it. For many of you, this isn’t just a website. It’s a familiar space. A place you’ve returned to again and again.

The recent downtime was caused by technical server limitations, not by any specific member or moderation activity. At times, the database system was hitting its limits and automatical ly restarting, which is why you saw those error messages.

Since then, we’ve:

• Stabilized and fully reset the database
• Increased memory and adjusted system limits
• Optimized background processes
• Verified server health and storage
• Added monitoring so we’re alerted immediately if something begins to spike
• Begun planning longer-term infrastruct ure improvement s

The goal is simple: reliability and continuity.

I also want to sincerely thank those who offered to help moderate. That willingness to step up says so much about this community. The recent issue wasn’t related to moderation, but your care for the space truly means a lot.

And I want to say this clearly: this forum is not going anywhere.
We are not shutting down. We are not abandoning it. The focus right now is strengtheni ng it so it can continue well into the future.

Communities like this don’t last over a decade without meaning something to people. That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because of the members here who show up, share openly, support one another, and keep conversatio ns alive.

Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your loyalty. Thank you for being here. 💛

— Admin

[scorpiogirl]

 "The recent issue wasn’t related to moderation ..."

It is because you don't check in. You allow a particular user to harass everyone on here for days and weeks. You have checked out and that affects how this site runs.

[admin]

Hi Everyone,

I want to address the concerns about harassment and moderation directly.

First, I understand how upsetting it is to feel harassed or uncomfortab le while posting. No one should feel that way here.

When reports are sent to me regarding harassment, I do take action. Hundreds of accounts have been banned over the years, and IP addresses have been blocked. The challenge — and this is something all online communities face — is that individuals can return using new email addresses, VPNs, mobile networks, and rotating IP addresses. Blocking one account does not permanently prevent someone from creating another.

That does not mean no action has been taken. It means that there are technical limitations, even when enforcement occurs.

It is also not as simple as “not approving anyone.” This is an open forum that has grown and evolved since its founding in January 2011. If approvals were stopped entirely, the community would effectively close.

Regarding moderation:

This forum has historicall y operated with minimal visible moderation. That has allowed conversatio ns to flow organically, but it also means interventio n typically occurs after reports are received rather than through constant live monitoring.

It is not accurate to say harassment is being “allowed.” When I receive clear reports of policy violations, action is taken.

Founded in January 2011, this forum has been running for over 15 years. Communities do not last that long without meaning something to the people who participate in them.

I also want to be transparent . This forum is funded and maintained personally by me. There are no sponsors and no outside funding. I have covered the hosting, repair, and infrastruct ure costs myself because I believe this space is worth preserving.

However, it is not feasible to monitor the site 24/7 as if it were a full-time staffed platform. Larger platforms operate with teams, budgets, and automated systems. This forum does not operate at that scale.

If moderation improvement s are implemented, they must:

• Protect member privacy
• Limit access to personal data
• Maintain neutrality
• Avoid conflicts of interest

I will be reviewing options that strengthen moderation while protecting those principles.

I am also reviewing long-term sustainabil ity options to ensure the forum remains stable for years to come. That may include exploring limited advertising or sponsorship to help offset hosting and infrastruct ure costs. Any changes would be approached carefully and transparent ly, with the goal of supporting — not disrupting — the community.

This community exists because of members who contribute constructiv ely. I care about that. I have not abandoned the forum, but I am one person maintaining and funding a long-running platform.

Let’s keep the focus on respectful participati on and practical solutions moving forward.

This thread will now be locked to keep the announcemen t focused. If members have specific technical concerns, please use the report function or contact the administrat or directly.

— Admin