PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE THIS INCASE I CHOOSE TO DELETE IT. THANK YOU 
I'm really bored and depressed and stuck at home so I thought I'd do an update on all my Kisha stuff within the last year/year and a half. I've been reading with Kisha for about 4 years and she's been pretty good for me. However, we had a big falling out over my fiancee whom she said I would marry and have children with only for him to up and leave me a week later. After our fight she eventually reached out to me to apologize and said she missed somethings or wasn't seeing everything and that I was in an unhealthy place (I was... I am) Anyways, we made up and I read with her monthly so here goes.
T--the fiancee. This was before I took a break from Kisha. She said he would come back after he initially left me and then there would be improvements. He did, two months later as she predicted in a general email, and we were back together but then I fought with him because I was very insecure and we fell out for good. In the quiet interim, where we are not talking, she predicts "Communicating with this person becomes more volatile and problematic. Honestly, I don't see a reconciliation with this person." A month and a half later, I got an email reading where she said the guides were saying 'expired' and that she could see a woman with dark hair trying to repair the cracks in a foundation, a metaphor for out relationship. It was too late and T was already testing the waters of a new relationship. December of that year, I found out he already had a new GF and they were living together. RIP T. He was my happiest relationship thus far and, two years later, we occasionally talk, but its rare.
Into 2019..
A--This guy suuuuucked. He's an actor and a weird liar and he strung me along for 6 weeks. We only really spent one night together, but he was super hot and charismatic so I was into it. He was never unfriendly or cruel but would constantly make dates with me only to cancel and do it over and over. I asked about him and Kisha said this person had 'some weird ways and that having any sort of relationship with him wouldn't be possible' and he eventually called it. Afterwards Kisha said he would not reconnect and this was never serious. Yup. Correct.
J--This guy I miss (I shouldn't) and we were up and down, in an out, for 8 months. He'd come back, split, come back, dip out again. It was an emotional rollercoaster. We'd be fine for a month, then he'd block me on everything only to return a couple weeks later like nothing ever happened. Kisha was really good at predicting all his moves. She was right about him returning only to leave again and that we'd be off more than on. In November we REALLY got into it and I finally cracked and he was out. She predicted he would come back but something happened that she did not see and I didn't expect. He was sponsored by a company that reached out to me. There had been a few complaints about him already and I told my rep what happened between us. He lost that sponsorship and it was given to me. We ran into each other at the company's annual show and he was so livid. Absolutely enraged. After that, Kisha said he felt 'someone has betrayed him, he feels stabbed in the back, he thinks someone has lied on him'. She did not see our paths crossing but said there 'was love there' and he felt something important had been stolen from him. I loved this crazy man and I think, on some weird way, he loved me too but he is def gone for good and after me he finally settled down with his even longer term off-and-on and they live together. Now, weirdly, she sees us attempting to patch things up but she said 'This could be years away and by that time, you will be in a very serious relationship' So...yeah... it's gonna be awhile. Current status: No reconnection predicted expect some very very far off communication with no timing. So far, very correct. I read with her multiple times during our relationship and she was very accurate as far as what he would do and not do but it took a freak incident to flip the readings 100% negative and then he was gone. So far, he actually is, very gone.
N--Liked this guy a lot, we're still friends in spite of a fantastic break up. Kisha could only read him the first time and said we would split up only to try again in july, but it doesn't work out. Correct. After July, she couldn't read anything about him anymore for some reason. He did come back another time, but I had moved on. We remain friends. Cookie got his reconnection for September right and said we would 'hook up'. We did, only to fall out again. SMH. But it's fine, we're good friends and that's where we belong.
C--Old friend, we hooked up, I liked him but...eh. Kisha said it would not work out because he wasn't capable of being faithful. Very true, I kicked him out of my house for using Tinder while he was sitting next to me. Afterwards, she said we would maintain a friendship. True, we still talk today. I could give a f*ck about him otherwise. No more questions about this one.
D--She had trouble reading this guy. This was a friend who chased after me for several months. Eventually I caved, and I was super sprung on him. I had been celibate for months after J and told him I didn't want anything casual so please leave me be if you want something casual. He insisted he liked me more than that but the next day--ghost. He turned into an entirely different person and then dipped out. Kisha said he was dating someone else and that we were on different paths for now. She predicted we would reunite as friend but that has yet to happen so I have since disregarded her readings on him. Hats off for Matilda about him. She was the only one who told me he now had a girlfriend, and I had no clue. She even gave me the girls name. Read that again--she gave me the girls name. I'm a great social media detective but even I had no idea about this girl. One month later--yes, he did turn out to have a GF and still is with her...Matilda got her name right.
V--This was a brief relationship but I really liked him. He had crazy chemistry and got, more or less, serious pretty quickly. I can't specify the details, but he forced me to do something I DID NOT want to do and broached all the rules of consent.... and then cheated on me. He then had the other girl CALL ME to try to talk to me. This was a crazy train. I went nuts with this guy, not surprisingly. The first reading, Kisha really didn't see much coming up with us...like at all. I corrected her to say we were going away for the weekend and we had gotten pretty serious. "Well.... have fun." she said. She just didn't see anything. Shortly thereafter, he cheated on me and was OUT. I LOST MY MARBLES ON HIM. If I could tell you the details, you probably wouldn't be surprised about that. Afterwards, she predicted he would reach out to be supportive but NO reconnection of any sort. Oddly enough, the following readings were much more positive... but none of it every transpired. He did reach out very recently to check on me and see how I was. It was a very polite, unemotional convo. I guess that first reading was correct, the following readings have not occurred and, honestly, I don't expect them to. I fell into a real black hole with this guy over what he did. I felt used, worthless, and terrible. I was severely depressed and tried not to get involved with anyone afterwards... and then...
B--This is my big one, and where I am currently at. This is where I reached an entirely new level of 'emotional basket-case'. I had always hoped the universe would throw me a frickin bone and that, one day, I could meet someone that I could be happy with. I believe this was that gift from the universe, and I destroyed it. While dating V, B reached out to me over social media. I knew of him from seeing him around and was familiar with his work. I brushed him off until V is fully out of the picture, but I am keenly aware of how unstable I have become and I am nervous about seeing someone new. He persists well into the next month and, after I post some downer posts on IG, he reaches out asking if I wanna talk about it. That night we facetime each other for 4 hours. He's smart and funny and charismatic and a truly terribly musician. Like, just awful, but it's endearing. We agree to hang out and I go over to his house a few days later. He's nervous, and high strung, but seems unbelievably excited to finally meet me. As the night goes on, he admits he had a sort of social media crush on me for a very long time, but was in a relationship. There's pretty much instant sparks and, even though I resolved to take care of my heart this time, I end up staying over. I can already tell, intuitively, that he's attached, however he tells me he's not ready for a relationship. I tell him that I am not in a healthy place right now and am not fit to pursue one in the first place and we agree to keep it light. I ask about him with Kisha the following day:
"Uhh...he's very emotionally overwhelmed. This person is emotionally attached and can become very needy." She pauses "Umm...I don't think this is going to work out for you. It's great he wants a relationship with you but he has some serious issues you aren't equipped to deal with. He will begin to emotionally open up in a 6."
"But he said he didn't want a relationship."
"No no, I get that he DEFINITELY does and he wants that with you. Just... keep an eye on him."
Even this early I can tell this guy is WHIPPED for sure and one night I set him down and try to delicately tell him that I suffer from depression, anxiety, and that I've had a very difficult couple of years. I need him to be careful and he needs to be careful with getting involved with me. He seems to understand but doesn't slow down. I start to get into the deep dark parts of my depression so that he can make an informed decision. "I can't cope with another heartbreak right now. I can handle hurt." He has JUST gotten out of a long term relationship is heavy on the rebound. They were together for years and she becomes a regular specter haunting our relationship.
Me and this guy party HARD just by ourselves. Lots of booze, sometimes 'other things' and we're basically up till the sun comes up every day. August 6th (nice, Kisha), he runs up to me and grabs me, declaring that he is in love with me. I tell him to STFU because he's on MDMA and it's too soon. "No, I love you and I know you love me too!" I'm trapped now. I grunt 'I love you too' and go back to making dinner for us. The next day he's flying around the house calling his friends and announcing how he finally broke the news and how happy he is. The walls I had tried to place firmly around me, for both our sakes, is now completely crumbling to the ground. I'm totally disarmed by his obvious infatuation. This emotional intensity continues to escalate over the weeks with almost hourly declarations of love. As time goes on, I become afraid. I'm afraid as I have now allowed myself to become completely vulnerable with him and have started to deeply trust him, he's now apart of my daily life and we are attached at the hip. I'm also scared, knowing he is on the rebound and clearly displays an addictive personality, I worry this may not be as real as I hope it is. We have one small spat about keeping our relationship secret, which he later rectifies, but we've hit a clear bump in the road and he seems somewhat guarded. A good month passes before I talk to Kisha again and things have changed in her predictions. I wish she could admit to the fact that things can change quickly instead of her insisting to 'let things play out'. She sees over the period of 5 something 'brewing' and that she seems him 'walking away'. I'm so confused--this guy? He's already naming our future kids, no way. But she says it, and that in a 10, or October, he will return and try to repair our relationship but during the gap I will be receiving some form of Therapy and I will be less receptive, and I will end it but not for lack of trying on his part. Kisha just planted the seed of doubt in my mind, again, and I decide to broach a topic that is very important to me:I want to be his actual GF. Our relationship is so emotionally advanced, why not? We bicker over it, I break up with him, trying to protect myself. He goes AWOL for the day I rush to his house, worried about him. Surprise, he's just like always, drunk on gin wandering around in his underwear. He's a mess, emotional: angry, and sad. He tells me he loves me 'so so so so much' and that I need to give it time. I drop it and let it go, I have fallen in love with him and do not want to lose him over this, so I let my argument go. The next morning--he's different. Hungover, moody, short tempered, etc. He says he wants to be alone tonight and the wheels in my mind begin to spin. Later that day, in a rash, snap decision, I break up with him over the phone. He agrees, angrily, and, not expecting this--I panic. I fly off the handle emotionally. He is stalwart in his decision that it is over and he is done, he loves me but is in no position to be in a relationship.
The place I never wanted to be in again? That dark hole of madness, turmoil and heartbreak? I'm back. I take out my rage on some glassware in my house, I scream and cry and fall on the floor, now in full collapse mode. I frantically keep calling him, then I begin to lash out, now believing he never loved me. We fight and yell and it goes from bad to worse. I read with Kisha after our last convo on Sept. 1st. It's now way more negative and there's a third party, an ex, that he's currently very involved with already. I'm destroyed. Sept 15. I find out he's actually hanging with the ex via social media. She predicted within a 3 he returns and attempts to reignite our relationship, but there's too much bad blood, and it doesn't work. Then I read with Cookie: " He's very attracted to you, I see him coming back around.... but there's no future with him. He's done with you." Cookie hits on some very specific details that NO ONE knows and I'm mortified that she might be right. "I don't see him trying again with you. He thought you were the one, you could'a married him, but you sabotaged it. He's not coming back." This was Cookie's FIRST overly negative reading I'd received and I couldn't believe it.
I've had to give up hope on this one. I have an upcoming reading with Kisha and I'm expecting a negative flip. It's really unfortunate. I'm gonna miss B forever, I think.
