How much time it too much time?

[Girly1998]

This is a great topic...I don't think there's a time limit for how long it takes to get over someone, and if you're still in love, then it makes sense that you will still keep getting readings.

For my first POI, it's been a year this month since we've spoken..and I still feel things for him.  I feel I'm stupid to think there is any kind of future though, but I can't just turn off what I felt for him for so long. 

We were involved for years, and he always came back after a few weeks, I think the longest we went was a bit over a month, but this time, he hasn't returned and I have had to face reality that its officially over, and that's the hardest part.

I'm in the same boat. It's a process for sure.

Sorry to hear   It sure is a process...I find myself wondering when I will be completely over him...some days it feels like I am, and others, not so much.  Part of me wants complete closure, like for him to say I've completely lost interest in you and I'm with someone else, and the other part of me doesn't want to know lol.  Either way, I would never reach out to him..just won't.

If you don’t mind me asking, why would you never reach out?

[sawthelight]

This is a great topic...I don't think there's a time limit for how long it takes to get over someone, and if you're still in love, then it makes sense that you will still keep getting readings.

For my first POI, it's been a year this month since we've spoken..and I still feel things for him.  I feel I'm stupid to think there is any kind of future though, but I can't just turn off what I felt for him for so long. 

We were involved for years, and he always came back after a few weeks, I think the longest we went was a bit over a month, but this time, he hasn't returned and I have had to face reality that its officially over, and that's the hardest part.

I'm in the same boat. It's a process for sure.

Sorry to hear   It sure is a process...I find myself wondering when I will be completely over him...some days it feels like I am, and others, not so much.  Part of me wants complete closure, like for him to say I've completely lost interest in you and I'm with someone else, and the other part of me doesn't want to know lol.  Either way, I would never reach out to him..just won't.

If you don’t mind me asking, why would you never reach out?

I don't mind ...I don't know, I just have this strong inner feeling like I shouldn't..if he wanted to come back, he would.  I feel like if I reached out, and even if he replied, I would always be wondering if he only was with me because of MY effort.  I feel at this point (with our complicated past) that I need him to make the effort and show me something, not the other way around.

In the past, I did reach out a few times after we argued and I didn't regret it then, but looking back, maybe I shouldn't have, because maybe I would have healed faster if it didn't drag on as long as it did.

[Girly1998]

This is a great topic...I don't think there's a time limit for how long it takes to get over someone, and if you're still in love, then it makes sense that you will still keep getting readings.

For my first POI, it's been a year this month since we've spoken..and I still feel things for him.  I feel I'm stupid to think there is any kind of future though, but I can't just turn off what I felt for him for so long. 

We were involved for years, and he always came back after a few weeks, I think the longest we went was a bit over a month, but this time, he hasn't returned and I have had to face reality that its officially over, and that's the hardest part.

I'm in the same boat. It's a process for sure.

Sorry to hear   It sure is a process...I find myself wondering when I will be completely over him...some days it feels like I am, and others, not so much.  Part of me wants complete closure, like for him to say I've completely lost interest in you and I'm with someone else, and the other part of me doesn't want to know lol.  Either way, I would never reach out to him..just won't.

If you don’t mind me asking, why would you never reach out?

I don't mind ...I don't know, I just have this strong inner feeling like I shouldn't..if he wanted to come back, he would.  I feel like if I reached out, and even if he replied, I would always be wondering if he only was with me because of MY effort.  I feel at this point (with our complicated past) that I need him to make the effort and show me something, not the other way around.

In the past, I did reach out a few times after we argued and I didn't regret it then, but looking back, maybe I shouldn't have, because maybe I would have healed faster if it didn't drag on as long as it did.

Understanda ble. I think it depends on the nature of the breakup and if things were left with the ball being in his court. My case is weird, we both have reasons to think reaching out would not warrant a response. But I totally get the whole thinking it’ll only be because of your effort. Men are weird.

[candiednut]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

well said! Even if they still think about you and misses you, why in the world would you want someone that doesnt make any effort? Actions speak louder than their "thoughts and feelings". Even if they have a lot of fear from the past and is scared to reach out etc...again, why would you want to be with someone who's not mature or healthy/balanced enough to go for what they want? Love is not supposed to be painful.

[Star_01]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

I completely agree and that's when you have to use logic in your situation and be realistic. If a guy comes back after 2, 3 months in the rare circumstanc e yes he does care and needed time or needed to fix himself or whatever. But if someone really cared about you, they couldn't go a day without talking to you.


I know I've spent many nights not sleeping thinking about my POI's in the past and crying, the most recent one I reached out on a number of occasions and he didn't want to know. I specificall y asked could we stay in touch or do you not want contact at all anymore, I asked fairly and politely and the dick ignored my texts on purpose. If he had any ounce of human, he could have said something. I have been in some toxic relationshi ps, but they were man enough to tell me good luck with my life and to take care. And we both ended things like adults.

And the sad thing is, like you say, they aren't crying over us or calling readers or waiting on us. They are having the last laugh because they can go window shopping knowing we are there hanging about for them. Men have told me themselves that if they truly like you they will reach out because they are scared to lose you, none of this well I needed to sleep wi- see other women to realise it was you I needed or I wanted a bit of single time and now I'm ready for you.

[Girly1998]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Not sure I agree. Yes, don’t sit there and sulk over them and prevent yourself from being able to move on but I don’t agree with the 3 months. Of course if you weren’t really in a relationshi p to begin with and they ghosted you months ago, yeah they probably aren’t gonna come back. Or if you’ve reached out several times with no response. But dependent of the nature of why you ended, which only you know know, a guy might be hesitant to come back even if he does want to. Maybe y’all ended on bad terms and he also thinks you want nothing to do with him? Maybe he realizes he did stuff that he may see as being unforgivabl e? They have egos and are prideful too, if they come back they’ll have to admit their faults and nobody wants to do that.

An example: my brother, yes a male, still thinks about a girl he was with 9 years ago. He dreams about her, he misses her, he has regrets but has he tried getting her back? No. He also has been in love with a friend for over a year and has not taken any steps to get her. I think some people put a little bit too much pressure on males to be the one to always make the move as if they are immune to fears.

[sawthelight]

I 100% agree that moving on is the best course of action..get out there, and try to meet new people, don't hole yourself up and be depressed, etc... (which I never did, just hadn't met anyone else that I felt the same way about).

But getting over someone (for me at least) isn't that easy, but if you look at logically, then yes, waiting for someone for an extended period of time is unhealthy. 

[Star_01]

I think in rare circumstanc es a man can love and miss you or he can take you for granted and be an ass and then years later when his relationshi ps are failing and when he reminisces on life he may think back to you and regret how much he took you for granted and hurt you.

But to say alot of men are missing us and not doing anything about it, come on. Some people on here have attempted to reach out to their POI's and got nothing back or no further progress than some texts.

I posted earlier this, but my friend has had all of her exes return and only 1 seems to really miss her but even he messes her about and lets her down when she plans to meet him. All of what he did 4/5 years before. He is a leopard that seemingly hasn't changed his spots thus far. Another was a married man who wasn't getting any sex and thought she could help him. They all have wanted something out of her at some point, it all starts with sweet talking and they're off again. It does seem to be a predominant ly male thing, not to be sexist but men seem to think that the clocks stop for us and they can go off and do whatnot and return with us being here like angels who have waited on them and been faithful to them all this time when they have done god knows what.

I've heard it all from readers before with the commitment phobias and busy with work blah blah you name it. I do definitely think we need to use logic in our situations, when it has been a long time and the guy is with another woman or you've heard from people that he has been seen out with various women.

Men also tend to look back and do the "I miss her but that situation wasn't healthy", whereas alot of women don't care about healthy or unhealthy the situation was - they miss the guy and would do anything to get him back. Do you know how many readers I've spoken to who told me that they have to listen or see through their gift really unhealthy abusive relationshi ps and they try to advise and give guidance and the customer does not listen?

[SomethingBetter]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

Applause! I totally agree. I have waited and waited before, no judgement on those who are waiting, but for me personally you have a window to make something happen. But if you don’t, I’m going to try and move on. I wont contact you and I am going to do what I need to do to heal.

I’m done wasting time.

[Yaz88]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

In principal, I have to agree with everything you have to say.  However in practice, sometimes we just can’t seem to get over someone, can’t forget them, because we aren’t supposed to just yet.  Before my current POI, there was another POI that I didn’t think I’d ever get over.  Anytime I tried, his name (which is not common) would randomly appear or I’d hear a parent calling to their child who had that name.  Other times, he’d resurface and the toxic wheel would once again start spinning.  It took me 22 months to finally get over him.  Eleven months from the last time I saw him, and 5 months from our last point of contact.  Luckily, back then I had no idea about Keen or any of the other similar platforms.  I would have bankrupted myself.  Instead I’d go to a few local readers (who were all correct in hindsight) or spend hours listening to YouTube Tarot readers.  Here’s the thing.  My first POI served a purpose.  Once I was able to understand that purpose, I was at peace.  I also met my current POI, which helped me realize that there are other people who you can come to care about and be attracted to.  Strangely enough, I recently reached out to my first POI, and he did respond.  I have no desire to rekindle anything with him, but since he was such a huge influence in my spiritual journey and growth, my soul is content knowing that the energy between us has neutralized (it was the type of relationshi p with mountain peak highs and crying in a heap on the shower floor lows).

So sometimes, it’s not over because it isn’t supposed to be.  I will say that for my second POI, I’m more inclined to move on because the life lessons I learned from POI #1 don’t need to be relearned.  It’s time for balance, an equal give and take.

[Star_01]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

In principal, I have to agree with everything you have to say.  However in practice, sometimes we just can’t seem to get over someone, can’t forget them, because we aren’t supposed to just yet.  Before my current POI, there was another POI that I didn’t think I’d ever get over.  Anytime I tried, his name (which is not common) would randomly appear or I’d hear a parent calling to their child who had that name.  Other times, he’d resurface and the toxic wheel would once again start spinning.  It took me 22 months to finally get over him.  Eleven months from the last time I saw him, and 5 months from our last point of contact.  Luckily, back then I had no idea about Keen or any of the other similar platforms.  I would have bankrupted myself.  Instead I’d go to a few local readers (who were all correct in hindsight) or spend hours listening to YouTube Tarot readers.  Here’s the thing.  My first POI served a purpose.  Once I was able to understand that purpose, I was at peace.  I also met my current POI, which helped me realize that there are other people who you can come to care about and be attracted to.  Strangely enough, I recently reached out to my first POI, and he did respond.  I have no desire to rekindle anything with him, but since he was such a huge influence in my spiritual journey and growth, my soul is content knowing that the energy between us has neutralized (it was the type of relationshi p with mountain peak highs and crying in a heap on the shower floor lows).

So sometimes, it’s not over because it isn’t supposed to be.  I will say that for my second POI, I’m more inclined to move on because the life lessons I learned from POI #1 don’t need to be relearned.  It’s time for balance, an equal give and take.

I know what you mean. One of my relationshi ps was very toxic, I was being violently abused and verbally, aswell as being used. The ex would message me all sweet and lovely and I'd fall for it. Then it would be could I borrow some money or could you help me with something.. . Then I helped him and he started arguments or made excuses to go off again blocking me, making me look bad and return again unblocking me in the same cycle. I didn't get readings on him but I knew deep down that he did not care like everyone was saying too, but they were telling me to get rid and only I could do that when I had had enough. And 2 years on, one day I snapped and had had enough and blocked him for good. I felt like I needed to learn lessons and realise for myself.

[Star_01]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

In principal, I have to agree with everything you have to say.  However in practice, sometimes we just can’t seem to get over someone, can’t forget them, because we aren’t supposed to just yet.  Before my current POI, there was another POI that I didn’t think I’d ever get over.  Anytime I tried, his name (which is not common) would randomly appear or I’d hear a parent calling to their child who had that name.  Other times, he’d resurface and the toxic wheel would once again start spinning.  It took me 22 months to finally get over him.  Eleven months from the last time I saw him, and 5 months from our last point of contact.  Luckily, back then I had no idea about Keen or any of the other similar platforms.  I would have bankrupted myself.  Instead I’d go to a few local readers (who were all correct in hindsight) or spend hours listening to YouTube Tarot readers.  Here’s the thing.  My first POI served a purpose.  Once I was able to understand that purpose, I was at peace.  I also met my current POI, which helped me realize that there are other people who you can come to care about and be attracted to.  Strangely enough, I recently reached out to my first POI, and he did respond.  I have no desire to rekindle anything with him, but since he was such a huge influence in my spiritual journey and growth, my soul is content knowing that the energy between us has neutralized (it was the type of relationshi p with mountain peak highs and crying in a heap on the shower floor lows).

So sometimes, it’s not over because it isn’t supposed to be.  I will say that for my second POI, I’m more inclined to move on because the life lessons I learned from POI #1 don’t need to be relearned.  It’s time for balance, an equal give and take.

I know what you mean. One of my relationshi ps was very toxic, I was being violently abused and verbally, aswell as being used. The ex would message me all sweet and lovely and I'd fall for it. Then it would be could I borrow some money or could you help me with something.. . Then I helped him and he started arguments or made excuses to go off again blocking me, making me look bad and return again unblocking me in the same cycle. I didn't get readings on him but I knew deep down that he did not care like everyone was saying too, but they were telling me to get rid and only I could do that when I had had enough. And 2 years on, one day I snapped and had had enough and blocked him for good. I felt like I needed to learn lessons and realise for myself.

I get it too. It's not a cut high and dry and you're brand new the next day. It is a process and we all experience it a little differently . But it's the acceptance of needing the healing process to begin that a lot of people avoid. And we see stories of how people are in a cycle with their POI for years on this board. If you are having to ask yourself how long is too much time then it's already been too long.

I think we can all agree that at the time we are sad and desperate, and when we are out of it we can look back and think "pfft why didn't you get out of this situation sooner?". We all get told "oh just leave him", but it's easy for the person not in the situation and with all the feelings to say. I knew for a long time that the situation was toxic and unhappy but unhealthily, I stayed out of love and needing someone for the sake of it.

[sawthelight]

I also should say..you can say something like if the person hasn't reached out in whatever amount of time, they don't care, etc....but I look at myself here, and I DO still care for my first POI, (even though I wish I didn't) and I haven't reached out...and won't.  So, if you go by that theory, it's not a one size fits all type of scenario.

But I do get what you mean, it's just better to move on as best as possible and let life play out the way it's meant to....

[Girly1998]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

In principal, I have to agree with everything you have to say.  However in practice, sometimes we just can’t seem to get over someone, can’t forget them, because we aren’t supposed to just yet.  Before my current POI, there was another POI that I didn’t think I’d ever get over.  Anytime I tried, his name (which is not common) would randomly appear or I’d hear a parent calling to their child who had that name.  Other times, he’d resurface and the toxic wheel would once again start spinning.  It took me 22 months to finally get over him.  Eleven months from the last time I saw him, and 5 months from our last point of contact.  Luckily, back then I had no idea about Keen or any of the other similar platforms.  I would have bankrupted myself.  Instead I’d go to a few local readers (who were all correct in hindsight) or spend hours listening to YouTube Tarot readers.  Here’s the thing.  My first POI served a purpose.  Once I was able to understand that purpose, I was at peace.  I also met my current POI, which helped me realize that there are other people who you can come to care about and be attracted to.  Strangely enough, I recently reached out to my first POI, and he did respond.  I have no desire to rekindle anything with him, but since he was such a huge influence in my spiritual journey and growth, my soul is content knowing that the energy between us has neutralized (it was the type of relationshi p with mountain peak highs and crying in a heap on the shower floor lows).

So sometimes, it’s not over because it isn’t supposed to be.  I will say that for my second POI, I’m more inclined to move on because the life lessons I learned from POI #1 don’t need to be relearned.  It’s time for balance, an equal give and take.

I know what you mean. One of my relationshi ps was very toxic, I was being violently abused and verbally, aswell as being used. The ex would message me all sweet and lovely and I'd fall for it. Then it would be could I borrow some money or could you help me with something.. . Then I helped him and he started arguments or made excuses to go off again blocking me, making me look bad and return again unblocking me in the same cycle. I didn't get readings on him but I knew deep down that he did not care like everyone was saying too, but they were telling me to get rid and only I could do that when I had had enough. And 2 years on, one day I snapped and had had enough and blocked him for good. I felt like I needed to learn lessons and realise for myself.

That’s terrible, Star. Even if you did get readings on him, the likelihood of them telling you he’ll be back and you’ll be happy would be insane. I can’t imagine telling someone to stay with an abusive person. But, a person won’t leave until they’re ready. I’m glad you were able to walk away.

[Star_01]

Ok I’m about to come with the sledgehamme r but if I learned anything in my ripe old age of 29, if your poi (guy or gal) does not make any attempt of reach out to you within 3 months (and that’s being generous) MOVE ON. This person is not “suffering” they are living their life without you at this point. Move on, move on, move on. They are not pining after you or giving you the time of day like you are giving them. They are not. Stop filling your head and tricking yourself to think they are because as humans we shield ourselves from the bad to cope with a loss. You need to feel to heal. Feel for your loss and then move on! Time is the most valuable thing on this planet, you will never get it back. Invest it in things and people who will invest in you. Set boundaries early in your relationshi ps, and the person willing to put in the time and effort will be the one who wins your heart. I will say it here but I got my poi, we share a home together and build on our love everyday. The ONLY psychic to get big outcome predictions of what’s actually happening in my life right now was a known scammer. What does that tell you? Move on with your life friends. You only get one.

I’m stepping off my soapbox. Thanks for coming to my Tedtalk.

In principal, I have to agree with everything you have to say.  However in practice, sometimes we just can’t seem to get over someone, can’t forget them, because we aren’t supposed to just yet.  Before my current POI, there was another POI that I didn’t think I’d ever get over.  Anytime I tried, his name (which is not common) would randomly appear or I’d hear a parent calling to their child who had that name.  Other times, he’d resurface and the toxic wheel would once again start spinning.  It took me 22 months to finally get over him.  Eleven months from the last time I saw him, and 5 months from our last point of contact.  Luckily, back then I had no idea about Keen or any of the other similar platforms.  I would have bankrupted myself.  Instead I’d go to a few local readers (who were all correct in hindsight) or spend hours listening to YouTube Tarot readers.  Here’s the thing.  My first POI served a purpose.  Once I was able to understand that purpose, I was at peace.  I also met my current POI, which helped me realize that there are other people who you can come to care about and be attracted to.  Strangely enough, I recently reached out to my first POI, and he did respond.  I have no desire to rekindle anything with him, but since he was such a huge influence in my spiritual journey and growth, my soul is content knowing that the energy between us has neutralized (it was the type of relationshi p with mountain peak highs and crying in a heap on the shower floor lows).

So sometimes, it’s not over because it isn’t supposed to be.  I will say that for my second POI, I’m more inclined to move on because the life lessons I learned from POI #1 don’t need to be relearned.  It’s time for balance, an equal give and take.

I know what you mean. One of my relationshi ps was very toxic, I was being violently abused and verbally, aswell as being used. The ex would message me all sweet and lovely and I'd fall for it. Then it would be could I borrow some money or could you help me with something.. . Then I helped him and he started arguments or made excuses to go off again blocking me, making me look bad and return again unblocking me in the same cycle. I didn't get readings on him but I knew deep down that he did not care like everyone was saying too, but they were telling me to get rid and only I could do that when I had had enough. And 2 years on, one day I snapped and had had enough and blocked him for good. I felt like I needed to learn lessons and realise for myself.

That’s terrible, Star. Even if you did get readings on him, the likelihood of them telling you he’ll be back and you’ll be happy would be insane. I can’t imagine telling someone to stay with an abusive person. But, a person won’t leave until they’re ready. I’m glad you were able to walk away.

Thank you so much, Girly1998. I did lose a couple of close friends over chosing him first but I don't regret it because I learned alot of lessons and at the time thought I deserved to be attacked and treated badly, it took me lots to look at how much low self esteem I had and how his behaviour was unacceptabl e. If anyone here has been physically hurt and is reading this, I strongly urge you to walk away because it does get worse and they are very clever at making you the person who "deserved it". You did nothing to deserve it even if you did wrong in the relationshi p he should walk away if he is unhappy, not push you about. I hope to God that nobody on here suffers with that. 💟