For those no longer getting readings - how did you know you were done?

[unicornlove]

@gemini30 mee too. 2 1/2 years. I was addicted. One time I blew my whole paycheck on just readings. I have spent probably hundreds if not thousands on readings. And most of them were fluff, even Angela, what I wanted to hear. My ex never came back.  They were all wrong. The only ones right were Denise and Yona, they both predicted a new man coming into my life. At the time I didn't want t o hear it or believe it. But Denise and Yona were both right. 

[Girly1998]

I began to see the pointlessne ss of readings, for me, about eighteen months ago. But even then I still couldn't stop completely because I was so enamoured of this poi. I desperately wanted to believe I still had a ghost of a chance with him. I was totally deluded. Hell, the man was already in a committed relationshi p and not even available. I'm embarrassed to admit it but I've been having readings about this same poi for literally years. I just couldn't let the matter rest, even though it was obvious he felt nothing for me, and I was wasting precious time, energy and money consulting these psychics. I read with one who was my main go-to for three years just because some small predictions had come true. I ignored my intuition, and allowed myself to be strung along like a fool, hoping the big, positive outcome would eventually unfold as she kept saying it would, although she could never give me a time frame. When the situation deteriorate d out of the blue and the poi snubbed me, the psychic abruptly changed her tune. She blamed me for what happened by saying things would have come together if I'd taken her advice and 'worked on myself.' Then she flipped her prediction of three years by telling me the divine wanted to heal me in preparation for new love! She'd been telling me all along the poi was so attracted to me, had feelings, it was meant to be and we would be together etc. My fault of course for hanging on, denying reality and believing in all this rubbish. When it became glaringly obvious that he didn't want anything to do with me, she changed tack and said there wasn't enough between us for him to truly care if his behaviour was hurtful, or how he treated me. She became quite passive-aggressive, and then told me to google 'twin flame runner' because I'd 'understand more.'   

Even after that debacle, I STILL carried on reading with psychics to soothe my anxiety and escape reality. It was only recently when I had two negative card readings telling me nothing I hadn't already worked out for myself, that it dawned on me I was throwing my money away in pursuit of a dream, a fantasy, and it was a vain attempt to hold on to hope just a little bit longer. I was trying to avoid dealing with the pain of accepting that my poi wasn't interested in me romanticall y, and wouldn't ever see me in that way.

I've wasted years. I've finally seen sense and realised I can't let this crazy obsession go on past a certain number of years or it would be even more insane, so I've gone cold turkey. No more readings for me. Now the shame and regret has kicked in. I feel these readings mess with your emotions, and can cause you to lose touch with what reality is showing you. I was in denial for so long, and the years slip by all too quickly. I have remained stuck in the past while fixated on the poi. I also let important matters slide, and now I have to dig myself out of a financial hole, not for the first time, because I haven't been attending to important aspects of my life. It feels like I allowed everything to go to the dogs. I have to make a fresh start in life and move on from the poi, the painful memories and the whole ghastly experience with him.

I'm not blaming the psychics; I still think there are some genuine ones out there, and it was my choice to keep having readings about a hopeless situation. I just know that consulting with them is not healthy behaviour for me. I am better off using my intuition and common sense for guidance.

❤️❤️

When you feel shame and regret just remind yourself of what you’ve learned from it and that you’re no longer in that position. I hope things start to look up for you, Gemini

[Luckystar]

Hi all. I still dont do readings. I have a new man in my life  . My ex never came back. 

I am sorry to hear about your ex, but i hope you are happy now and that it works out for you with this new guy.

No one was right about my original POI except Kisha...who predicted (SEVERAL YEARS OUT BTW) that at some point i just would not care about having a relationshi p with the person in question. After about five years my feelings finally dissipated and he is now engaged to someone else.

[Snow-white8]

@gemini30 mee too. 2 1/2 years. I was addicted. One time I blew my whole paycheck on just readings. I have spent probably hundreds if not thousands on readings. And most of them were fluff, even Angela, what I wanted to hear. My ex never came back.  They were all wrong. The only ones right were Denise and Yona, they both predicted a new man coming into my life. At the time I didn't want t o hear it or believe it. But Denise and Yona were both right. 

Hi unicorn love! Happy for you for this new man in your life and for you staying away from going down the rabbit hole of readings I think I remember you way back when you said Angel Readings didn't charge you money but told you your ex wasn't coming back too, so she was right too?

[russianred]

This thread was a great read for me today.

I don't think I'm 100% done with readings forever and ever, but I am done with excessive and compulsive calling -- because:

- I finally came to the conclusion that POI does not deserve me unless he substantial ly changes his behavior.  I surrender the outcome.
- Trying to find insight into POI's behavior is not worth my time, energy, or money anymore.  I think sometimes we think that if we can just better understand someone, then we'll have the tools to fix the situation.  That may be true in some situations, but not in mine.
- The readings were making it more difficult to mentally detach from the situation and live my life.  I also wouldn't be surprised if they were affecting POI in some cosmic way.
- The readings were making me feel paralyzed with fear and like I needed to consult with a team of "experts" before I did anything.
- As a matter of principle, I refuse to spend more money on someone who has consistentl y put his own needs first.

[dascallie]

Great insights Russianred

[russianred]

some of the points you made really resonated with me! I find it hard to "let go" of the situation/your POI when you are continuing to get readings. and i found that the more frequently i get readings the more i am hyper-focused on the situation/POI. to me at least, i have to cut back significant ly to detach. I've mentioned in another thread on here, that one reader told me that the more readings i'm getting is actually effecting my own POI's energy and leaving him hanging. so in my experience, there is def truth to all this.

Yes, I like what you wrote about letting go.  I wish it were something I could have forced more as I would have let go a long time ago to save myself a lot of frustration and money, but I think I had to arrive at my own conclusion.  I was reading other threads on here and someone posted something about how a reader told her that being mentally "on hold" for someone (and I think many of us who call readers are in that boat) can feed into a "tense and frustrated space" that the POI then picks up on (I know mine has).  Readings can further add to those emotions because they keep us in the emotional vortex of the situation.  I also think that if I'm binging and a bunch of readers are trying to tap into POI's energy, that might just drain him further.

Letting go doesn't mean letting go of any hope.  I'm still hopeful that things will work out.  It means letting go of our need to control the situation and obtain a particular outcome.  Letting go of my need to fully understand POI's actions.  Letting go of trying to get the "magic insight" to help me "fix" him.  For me, it also means being open to other possibiliti es and accepting that if POI can't prove himself deserving of me, then he is not the right one for me.

[russianred]

I do think that in general, when men feel that you are genuinely (not pretending) slipping away, they will be more likely to respond and try to win you back.  I believe I'm letting go for the right reasons -- for myself -- but of course a small part of me hopes that he will respond to this approach much better than the hovering and frustrated approach. 

I also know exactly what you mean about how online dating is so draining and how the connection with POI feels pure and true compared to what you feel for others -- yet also not knowing whether a relationshi p would actually work given the limitations on what POI can offer to you due to his own circumstanc es.

[JAG20]

I've been addicted to readings on and off for 8 or so years, what helped me to realize and come to my senses was to look at the situation I'm being shown, and the actions of the person, cuz often times a reader can come out with lovely comments you'd like to hear, but it didn't match up with her actions for me, and I have this deep realization gut feeling going on inside of me which perhaps I chose not to accept or face cuz of the pain of it. There's been a couple of times where readers gave info that turned out to be accurate such as cheating or third parties, but, they quite often missed the bigger picture

[ES1281]

When I realized I m way happier when I m not expecting anything to happen.
When I realized happy present brings happy future.

[russianred]

I would also now add when I realized that I can trust myself again to make decisions.  When I realized I was making decisions that my gut wasn't comfortable with based on what I was being told.  That I know myself better than the readers know me.

[sunandmoon]

It was my own stupidity that kept me going. I kept good notes and already knew that they said the same thing over and over. I'd pretty much stopped by the time I found this forum in 2011. I had a couple more readings after I met my current bf and they were so far off it wasn't funny. But that first year was HELL. They are well trained in taking advantage of people, I can say that much.

[russianred]

What I'm working on right now is letting go of the need to understand why POI has acted the way he has AND have my POI understand my position.

If I'm being straight-up -- it bothers me that he doesn't seem to see what a selfish POS he's been.  Like he really doesn't seem to get it.  (I guess if he did, he probably wouldn't be acting like a selfish POS.)  I've continued to seek out validation from him that my perspective is the sane and normal one to no avail.

I don't know if I've just mentally burned myself on it all (does that ever happen to you? where you just don't want to think about it anymore?), but today was truly day one for me of moving toward an acceptance that I probably just won't understand him and he won't understand me.  And no amount of analysis, calling psychics or empaths, and whatever else will change that.

[HornetKick]

For me, I know I used readings as a coping mechanism after the break up to help me understand what was POI thinking, what would happen next etc. Because of no contact it was a desperate attempt to feel some type of connection with him. Those dates and predictions kept me going and helped in not reaching out.

Had he not got in touch like he did within a few weeks of the break up, I would have continued doing readings for a maximum of another 2 months and moved on.

It actually astonishes me that some people here have been having readings on a POI for 1 year and above. Dont you think if there was interest the person would have made a move by now? I can only imagine how much money that is down the drain.

Not only that, for those of us who want to have families, kids etc, every year wasted on a man who cant man up is a year of fertility wasted. I'm in my mid 30's now... I aint got time for that. Maybe when I was younger the chase and all that was fun but not now.

Great points, but when a person is feeling desperate and low, they believe the psychic(s) and continue to waste time (although not to them) month after month because they are fed hope. All the psychic has to say is that person has feelings for them and they take that in their mind that their POI is going to return or reach out. Even though the POI probably wasn't good for them or to them from the beginning. Some people hardly ever see it through the rose colored glasses because they are in it.

[britbrat]

For me, I know I used readings as a coping mechanism after the break up to help me understand what was POI thinking, what would happen next etc. Because of no contact it was a desperate attempt to feel some type of connection with him. Those dates and predictions kept me going and helped in not reaching out.

Had he not got in touch like he did within a few weeks of the break up, I would have continued doing readings for a maximum of another 2 months and moved on.

It actually astonishes me that some people here have been having readings on a POI for 1 year and above. Dont you think if there was interest the person would have made a move by now? I can only imagine how much money that is down the drain.

Not only that, for those of us who want to have families, kids etc, every year wasted on a man who cant man up is a year of fertility wasted. I'm in my mid 30's now... I aint got time for that. Maybe when I was younger the chase and all that was fun but not now.

Great points, but when a person is feeling desperate and low, they believe the psychic(s) and continue to waste time (although not to them) month after month because they are fed hope. All the psychic has to say is that person has feelings for them and they take that in their mind that their POI is going to return or reach out. Even though the POI probably wasn't good for them or to them from the beginning. Some people hardly ever see it through the rose colored glasses because they are in it.

This is the biggest issue. You will have 20 psychics saying your poi is coming back and maybe 2 saying he won't. In my case in the past I believed the 20 who kept telling me he was coming back. I would still get readings with them after the time frames came and went. It was an expensive lesson to learn.