Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Shaman kiri
star1:
Then we're foolish enough to forgive them and take them back..The things we do for love :o
HornetKick:
If they are narcs, why would they see they are causing harm? Knowing they are narcissistic, we recognize they way the operate. Narcs can only see what they are getting from you and they are happy with the results. How many times do people allow others to steal from them and take and take and take. A person can only do things to us that we allow.
Miss Philosopher:
@Hornet: Yeah you're right. But, I think, at least with me, I think I thought that maybe if I just showed him something different, set the example, then he'd follow suit and change at some point. I'd not really ever dealt with a narc before. When you're new to it, you don't realize it until after they've destroyed you from the inside out. I understand that narcs are not self aware. But I always hoped I could help bring that behavior to his awareness. I will say, he did acknowledge some of his behaviors as being not so great and down right shitty, without apologizing for it of course, but I suppose acknowledgment is the first step. I doubt it will progress past that. It's really hard when you love someone so you allow them to behave in certain ways just hoping that someday they will change, but then after a period of time, you realize they won't. At least, not for you or while with you. It's a painful process to go through but the lessons taken from it are very valuable. What helped me more than anything was this forum, and this book called "Psychopath Free" by Jackson MacKenzie.
I feel bad for anyone who has or is dealing with a narc. It's a life changing and self changing experience. It's also very traumatizing and I hope everyone who is or has had to deal with one heals as quickly as possible.
star1:
--- Quote from: HornetKick on January 08, 2019, 10:34:27 AM ---If they are narcs, why would they see they are causing harm? Knowing they are narcissistic, we recognize they way the operate. Narcs can only see what they are getting from you and they are happy with the results. How many times do people allow others to steal from them and take and take and take. A person can only do things to us that we allow.
--- End quote ---
I think that they know to a degree what they're doing. They don't care about anyone really, it's about ego boosting and getting what they want. From my experience of narcs, they like seeing you hurt and find a way to punish you. It could be something you did yesterday or 5 years ago. They cannot feel empathy which is why they are who they are. Normal people would hurt someone and something in their brain says "that's wrong! You hurt them!".
Do you remember about 2 weeks ago you posted about your friend who's bf manipulated her into skipping her exams to go to something with her and when she got bad grades she moaned to him and he twisted it onto her "I didn't force you to skip it, you were the one who did this and that"? They know what they're doing, they're very smarmy about it, too. It's evil and wicked. They know "if I contact so and so, she's there waiting for me and will help me out. Stupid b-ch", and they will come after you and get what they want, then drop you instantly. They love you until they get what they want "I love her so much for helping me with money, I love that money. But am I in love with her? Hell no. Time to drop her. I got what I wanted".
Sapphirewaters1:
I have a ex narc that still comes around and now lives in GA (I’m in MA). He popped up via text in mid December wating to try things. I told him he was delusional thinking a LDR was going to work when ours didn’t in the same location. Lol. He keeps trying. We have been on and off since 2012. I’m all set. Not having it. But he try’s.
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