Your original name lost soul fits you better. If I knew I hated spaghetti because I throw up every time I eat it, I wouldn’t go to every Italian restaurant in town and order spaghetti then get on yelp and bitch that I threw up again.
What you’re saying could actually be translated to he loves you as family and feels bad for the fight and tries to make up with you. Better help or another therapy site would be more helpful than psychics for you.