It sounds like getting readings for you is a management technique for coping with the stress and anxiety of your relationship. The fact that you don’t get the results you’d like probably means you should slow down on the calls. There are tons of other coping mechanisms you can use that although might not given you the immediate gratification, will give you a better long term payout. Meditation, exercise, therapy, hobbies, start a business that you’re passionate about. Self actualization is primary. It will in turn help improve your relationship with others.