What to do?

[vanyct]

I will comment on the letting go part.  I've been obsessed/depressed/and any other type of essed you can think of for some time now.  I was at home feeling sorry for myself and put in season 2 of Dawsons Creak.  I heard Dawson speak those same wise words, if you want someone back, let them go.  I thought about and it started to make sense, so I decided to let him go, in my heart wish him the best and just let him go. 
A few days later I hear from him again wanting to take me out for my birthday.  Unfortunate ly I give in too easily and then we are right back where we started from
So depending on your situation, and what type of outcome you are looking for, letting and then standing your ground may work.

[cocoapple]

I know it's hard and it sucks.  I admit, at times i still have that crappy feeling inside when i'm all alone.  My mind starts wondering off again and i try to push those thoughts away.  Fake it till you make it right?  With every ending comes a new beginning.  I started looking at things differently and hey, if you really look at it, either you break up or they die right?  One day they will all go and with that thought in mind, it was better to have had than to not at all and i cherished what we had together but there's a time when you need to accept that that chapter has written itself and it's done.  BUT, that doesn't mean there might not be a continuatio n.  That continuatio n itself however, may not be in your next chapter but might be a couple pages down ahead you'll never know. 

LLL, i know it supper sucks and you tried to reach out but if you don't hear from him, that's plain rude and childish and he's not worth it.  For me, i reached out and i got a response BUT it was all there is, a friendly response.  Somehow it made me realize that that's all that was left of us.  I have to accept that whether i like it or not.  If mine comes back tomorrow and says he wants to get back together with me, I would tell him I need to think about it because i don't know if i want to open up myself to a person who once hurt me so deeply.  I know you should think about that too.  If he comes back after all the shit that's had  happened and this moving in with another girl so easily, would you take him back like that?

[vanyct]

I will add my personal experience to cocoapple’s advice.  Before I met this guy that I am in love with now, I had been in plenty of unhealthy/bad relationshi ps.  The one who really left me bitter and jaded about love was my boyfriend from high school who I was with for eight years.  During the course of those 8 years there were several really bad break-ups, and then came the I’m sorry and we would end up back together.  I guess it all finally ended when I realized that 1.  He was not going to change. 2.  Even if he did, the resentment, anger and lack of trust that I had for him were not going to let us have the happy ending I really wanted.  My advice to you would be to really sit down and think, after everything he has put you through, do you still want HIM back, or do you just want the idea of him?   From what you’ve said in your posts he has not been very nice to you lately and had shown you a side of him that you may not want anymore.

[LiveLaughLove]

Well I talked to my ex and he said he's moved on...so all the money I spent has been a waste. Never talking to a psychic again. Thanks for those who had been involved in this with me...but its time for me to say so long. What's crazy is I told these ppl I was dating someone and they all said he's just a distraction my ex is coming back. Smh

[LiveLaughLove]

I jst wanted to know what was gonna happen. I was tired of waiting and waiting and waiting for him to contact me and I wanted closure. He didn't say he'll never talk to me again or we wouldn't get together one day but he didn't not say it either..bas ically said our relationshi p was great but I've moved on. I know youll find someone special because you are. take care aka we probably won't be together again...oh well I guess.. I tried.

Now im going to go leave feedback on the 2 advisors I used on Keen who said we were going to get back together

[Elaan]

LLL,

If your guy is involved with someone else at the moment, it seems rational for him to say that to you in light of your phone call.  What guy wants to admit he's not with the right girl after all of his efforts?  Especially to the girl who broke up with him?  (You did break things off with him, right?  Did I read that somewhere?)  He didn't say you wouldn't ever be together again, and if he was truly gone, he would have said his forever goodbyes.  That was his chance, he didn't take it and left the door open, even if just a crack.  If he is a normal guy, he'll think it over and in the meantime let you stew for awhile.  Just my opinion...

[LiveLaughLove]

Elaan:

Youre right, I didn't think of that way....him admitting that to me probably wouldn't had happened... I don't know any guy who admits that much info lol. Men and their pride...esp cially Taurus men lol &yes I did break up with him which I think he was hurt over in as much as he went out and found a  rebound chick to replace me lol...and that's understanda ble (the hurt part)

I know it's still a possibility but Im going to just act as if it's not..so I don't keep my hopes up still you know.

I guess I felt like it was forever because at the end he was like "take care"...that's not a bad thing but to me it's like "holla! see ya!" But then again, I told him that twice before when I ended things (this last time and a time before) so could be using it against me...becaus e saying that does hurt when you really care about someone...I ts like "dang he/she doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. They're just brushing me off"..Idk I just try not to think to much into it.

Thanks for that Elaan

I just decided to focus on the guy I'm dating now and building something with us...

[positivethoughts2]

LLL
I would tend to agree with Elaan. You just don't know what's going to happen. I'm sure you gave him a lot to think about and my guess is he might not have been expecting it (you coming forward).
Ugh!! 

[LiveLaughLove]

True true. I'm in the mind frame of not even thinking about it right now. It's like if you can't have him, you don't want anybody else too. Definitely 1 of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.

I'm going to Vegas in a week so I'm going to focus on the sun, the yummy guys and all the partying I"m going to be doing lol. Hopefully I'll come back without a care in the world

[Elaan]

LLL,

lol...my guy always said the same thing when he would be mad at me!  Like, "you'd better straighten up, because I'm breaking up with you here....hel lo...I'm giving you the kiss off...you may commence kissing my ass now."  LOL...I don't think that means anything but what you said.  It was a jab at you for saying that to him.  MEN!!!

[LiveLaughLove]

lol! Yea probably! UGH!

I just know some days I'm going to have some good days and some days I'm going to have some bad days...I'm going to just try to have good days...hope fully this dude I'm kinda dating will help with that...we were kinda shaky in the beginning and why we are still just dating but I had a nice talk with him today so hopefully he straightens up!

[LiveLaughLove]

So I get the CP newsletter every morning with my horoscope and articles and sometimes I"ll look at the title and decide if I want to read it or not. Today's title was interesting so I opened the email and saw they also had a article regarding Being a Rebound.

I read through it and all I kept thinking was that the girl my ex is with is just that, A REBOUND! Which I already knew of course but reading the article just validated my feelings. It said getting with a man who's emotional unavailable, not over his previous relationshi p and having to "prove" yourself to a man who's not over his previous relationshi p and is just lonely puts you in the situation of a rebound. Ummmm hello! That is why my ex got with this girl to begin with! He wanted to replace me and was lonely...an d I quote from what he told me while in this relationshi p in Jan/Feb " I'm not over you"....why this girl didn't see this is beyond me...

Unfortunate ly like I stated he said he's moved on...so maybe for him this rebound chick worked out for him? Who knows...but at the end of the day, she was a rebound and was being used to replace me being gone....reg ardless though I still miss him and wish he'd realize that if our relationshi p was so GREAT (his words) that we should get back together. ;-/ I mean who says "our relationshi p was great"...not good,not okay but GREAT! If our relationshi p was great, then what is this relationshi p? Because last time I checked, GREAT is the highest you can go! I need to stop thinking about this, it's making me sad (

[Elaan]

LLL,

It sounds like it is his pride that is hurt.  Ego can make people, especially a man, do crazy, stupid things, even to spite themselves.  Keep faith, because right now that is all we have.   

[LiveLaughLove]

Thanks Elaan I hope this is something where he wants to just teach me a lesson or he is like Deejay stated (& kinda you) he already has or soon realize this is not the girl for him...and makes the move to mend things with us....