Have most advisors told you not to reach out to your POI?

[Sweetsydney2000]

This is an old post but I stumbled across it somehow. I’ve always applied the no contact rule after a breakup (it feels like the normal thing to do) as well as from the advice of psychics and YouTube videos 😂 it’s always worked and POI always contacted again. But I’m just wondering if most psychics tell you not to contact?

[astrogirl90tron]

I’ve had advisors tell me not reach out because the guy should be making the effort. He should be chasing me. I shouldn’t be chasing him because it makes me look desperate or needy. I’ve always been the type to reach out first or make the first move because I’m like, why not? Yet it always becomes me always making the effort for someone who clearly is not that interested in me. I once had an advisor tell me not to reach out because it would be bad. That weekend out of anxiety I reached out and he ended things me during the phone call. Another guy strung me along for 9 months because when he told me “I don’t want a girlfriend right now” I only listed to “right now” holding out hope he might change his mind. He never did. At least with me he didn’t and a month later was dating someone else (who he’s still dating a year later). I should have stopped looking out and move on the minute he said he didn’t want a girlfriend. It took me a while to get over him and honestly had I walked away sooner it probably would have hurt less.

When we really like someone we get excited at the idea of talking to them or getting to see them again. So we reach out to make it happen because we’re interested. The same goes for guys, if they like someone they’re going to get equally excited about talking or seeing each other. If a guy isn’t showing that kind of behavior, let it go. He’s simply not on the same wavelength of interest as you are. And that’s fine. Because you’ll eventually meet someone who will be.

We can call all these advisors and ask how the person feels about us and hold onto hope because we’re told there is feelings. But it’s about actions and unfortunately, sometimes people act the opposite of how they feel. You want to be with someone who smiles at the thought of you. Like how you smile and are  giddy at the thought them.

Personally I don’t think it’s a trick to keep us calling when they tell us to reach out. WE make the decision to continue to reach out and spend the money. Honestly if after a month, 6 months, a year someone hasn’t gotten back to you. Accept that this might not be your person. You don’t risk losing the things you cherish. I think if an advisor tells you “He will contact you in 6 weeks, 6 months” you should hold onto that. You have enough self respect to say to yourself “I’m not someone you walk away from for six weeks. I’m someone you hold onto now.”

Sorry if I went off topic. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently and this post struck something inside of me.

[sawthelight]

I’ve had advisors tell me not reach out because the guy should be making the effort. He should be chasing me. I shouldn’t be chasing him because it makes me look desperate or needy. I’ve always been the type to reach out first or make the first move because I’m like, why not? Yet it always becomes me always making the effort for someone who clearly is not that interested in me. I once had an advisor tell me not to reach out because it would be bad. That weekend out of anxiety I reached out and he ended things me during the phone call. Another guy strung me along for 9 months because when he told me “I don’t want a girlfriend right now” I only listed to “right now” holding out hope he might change his mind. He never did. At least with me he didn’t and a month later was dating someone else (who he’s still dating a year later). I should have stopped looking out and move on the minute he said he didn’t want a girlfriend. It took me a while to get over him and honestly had I walked away sooner it probably would have hurt less.

When we really like someone we get excited at the idea of talking to them or getting to see them again. So we reach out to make it happen because we’re interested. The same goes for guys, if they like someone they’re going to get equally excited about talking or seeing each other. If a guy isn’t showing that kind of behavior, let it go. He’s simply not on the same wavelength of interest as you are. And that’s fine. Because you’ll eventually meet someone who will be.

We can call all these advisors and ask how the person feels about us and hold onto hope because we’re told there is feelings. But it’s about actions and unfortunately, sometimes people act the opposite of how they feel. You want to be with someone who smiles at the thought of you. Like how you smile and are  giddy at the thought them.

Personally I don’t think it’s a trick to keep us calling when they tell us to reach out. WE make the decision to continue to reach out and spend the money. Honestly if after a month, 6 months, a year someone hasn’t gotten back to you. Accept that this might not be your person. You don’t risk losing the things you cherish. I think if an advisor tells you “He will contact you in 6 weeks, 6 months” you should hold onto that. You have enough self respect to say to yourself “I’m not someone you walk away from for six weeks. I’m someone you hold onto now.”

Sorry if I went off topic. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently and this post struck something inside of me.

I so agree with this.  This was a really hard realization for me to make, with my first POI.  He would always resurface, until he stopped.  And then one month, two months, etc...would pass, and I would keep asking psychics if I would hear from him..and I didn't.  It hurt a lot to realize maybe I dind't mean as much to him as he meant to me, and that things were over...put me in a depression.  that's why i don't really deal with any kind of mixed signals/games anymore, because I NEVER want to go through that again.

[astrogirl90tron]

I’ve been there so I know you feel. Sorry you went through that realization. This happened to me last summer. I was told by countless advisors he had feelings for me, it will take time for him to come back, there is something there. It’s been 10 months and hundreds of dollars on Keen and I never heard from him again. I didn’t go on a date for 9 months because I waited and held out hope. But that was my decision because I wanted to believe the fairytale when I should have accepted the reality of it. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens, just learn from it. And if you find yourself moving towards something similar remind yourself you deserve better and know if you’re heart when you walk away, you’re going to be just fine. If things don’t work out - you’re going to be fine. If he’s not interested, you’re still going to be fine.

[Sparkle002]

I’ve been there so I know you feel. Sorry you went through that realization. This happened to me last summer. I was told by countless advisors he had feelings for me, it will take time for him to come back, there is something there. It’s been 10 months and hundreds of dollars on Keen and I never heard from him again. I didn’t go on a date for 9 months because I waited and held out hope. But that was my decision because I wanted to believe the fairytale when I should have accepted the reality of it. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens, just learn from it. And if you find yourself moving towards something similar remind yourself you deserve better and know if you’re heart when you walk away, you’re going to be just fine. If things don’t work out - you’re going to be fine. If he’s not interested, you’re still going to be fine.

I totally agree.

While I understand we (forum members) can provide support by saying things like “stay hopeful”.
I think its damaging in the end. Hope can be very damaging because it can make you hold on to things...its like a double edged sword....Hope can give you promise but also heartbreak. I too have waited for contact for a POI once - first time in my life ever back in 2016...held out for 4 months before contact. Just know usually when they come back, it is typically NEVER in the way that you would like!!

So I say stay Positive - meaning that in the end YOU will be ok, but not positive by meaning that the reader’s prediction will come true (especially if it is positive)

I also say stay SKEPTICAL (vs hopeful) for every reader you read with.
Just know things may or may not happen as they say.
For me the entertainment part comes in when they have a “hit”...then I get excited and amazed at how they were able to see such a prediction or situation...otherwise I stay skeptical so if something doesnt happen I’m not emotionally messed up or anything in the end.

[marybell]

I’ve been there so I know you feel. Sorry you went through that realization. This happened to me last summer. I was told by countless advisors he had feelings for me, it will take time for him to come back, there is something there. It’s been 10 months and hundreds of dollars on Keen and I never heard from him again. I didn’t go on a date for 9 months because I waited and held out hope. But that was my decision because I wanted to believe the fairytale when I should have accepted the reality of it. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens, just learn from it. And if you find yourself moving towards something similar remind yourself you deserve better and know if you’re heart when you walk away, you’re going to be just fine. If things don’t work out - you’re going to be fine. If he’s not interested, you’re still going to be fine.

I totally agree.

While I understand we (forum members) can provide support by saying things like “stay hopeful”.
I think its damaging in the end. Hope can be very damaging because it can make you hold on to things...its like a double edged sword....Hope can give you promise but also heartbreak. I too have waited for contact for a POI once - first time in my life ever back in 2016...held out for 4 months before contact. Just know usually when they come back, it is typically NEVER in the way that you would like!!

So I say stay Positive - meaning that in the end YOU will be ok, but not positive by meaning that the reader’s prediction will come true (especially if it is positive)

I also say stay SKEPTICAL (vs hopeful) for every reader you read with.
Just know things may or may not happen as they say.
For me the entertainment part comes in when they have a “hit”...then I get excited and amazed at how they were able to see such a prediction or situation...otherwise I stay skeptical so if something doesnt happen I’m not emotionally messed up or anything in the end.

This is so true Sparkles! Thank you for posting this. While I agree that most readers feed us fairytales ,  sometimes well meaning forum members do as well.     
When I first joined this forum, there was a really active chatroom with anywhere from  6 - 10 people joined at any one time.   
On one of the more busier days, a forum member announced that she just had a very difficult reading that she intuitively knew to be  true. She said that when the advisor told her that her ex would never return, she was relieved to finally hear the truth, and could now  feel the dawning of a new day.
It was amazing to see how virtually everyone in the room told her not to give up, and recommended other advisors that could give her new hope. 
I piped in and said that it was good news that she felt free, but no one seemed to share my view, instead blaming her advisor for being negative by taking her hope away.  Initially she stood her ground  but after a while of "pep talks", she agreed that it was possible that that advisor had it wrong and she should try others.
I asked and received permission to include her name and create a post addressing what had just gone down because I thought it might produce some interesting conversation, in addition to getting her to rethink her abandoning her new found freedom. I posted but there was no response. I am not sure why.  So again Sparkles, thank you for addressing this!

[Sparkle002]

I’ve been there so I know you feel. Sorry you went through that realization. This happened to me last summer. I was told by countless advisors he had feelings for me, it will take time for him to come back, there is something there. It’s been 10 months and hundreds of dollars on Keen and I never heard from him again. I didn’t go on a date for 9 months because I waited and held out hope. But that was my decision because I wanted to believe the fairytale when I should have accepted the reality of it. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens, just learn from it. And if you find yourself moving towards something similar remind yourself you deserve better and know if you’re heart when you walk away, you’re going to be just fine. If things don’t work out - you’re going to be fine. If he’s not interested, you’re still going to be fine.

I totally agree.

While I understand we (forum members) can provide support by saying things like “stay hopeful”.
I think its damaging in the end. Hope can be very damaging because it can make you hold on to things...its like a double edged sword....Hope can give you promise but also heartbreak. I too have waited for contact for a POI once - first time in my life ever back in 2016...held out for 4 months before contact. Just know usually when they come back, it is typically NEVER in the way that you would like!!

So I say stay Positive - meaning that in the end YOU will be ok, but not positive by meaning that the reader’s prediction will come true (especially if it is positive)

I also say stay SKEPTICAL (vs hopeful) for every reader you read with.
Just know things may or may not happen as they say.
For me the entertainment part comes in when they have a “hit”...then I get excited and amazed at how they were able to see such a prediction or situation...otherwise I stay skeptical so if something doesnt happen I’m not emotionally messed up or anything in the end.

This is so true Sparkles! Thank you for posting this. While I agree that most readers feed us fairytales ,  sometimes well meaning forum members do as well.     
When I first joined this forum, there was a really active chatroom with anywhere from  6 - 10 people joined at any one time.   
On one of the more busier days, a forum member announced that she just had a very difficult reading that she intuitively knew to be  true. She said that when the advisor told her that her ex would never return, she was relieved to finally hear the truth, and could now  feel the dawning of a new day.
It was amazing to see how virtually everyone in the room told her not to give up, and recommended other advisors that could give her new hope. 
I piped in and said that it was good news that she felt free, but no one seemed to share my view, instead blaming her advisor for being negative by taking her hope away.  Initially she stood her ground  but after a while of "pep talks", she agreed that it was possible that that advisor had it wrong and she should try others.
I asked and received permission to include her name and create a post addressing what had just gone down because I thought it might produce some interesting conversation, in addition to getting her to rethink her abandoning her new found freedom. I posted but there was no response. I am not sure why.  So again Sparkles, thank you for addressing this!

Wow! Thank YOU for this post. I was in the same situation....I knew intuitively i wouldn’t get back with my ex (from years ago)...and was actually looking for a reader to actually validate that...i was emotionally stuck on him so i did have a bit of hope.....instead i got fairytales but in reality what they were telling me was not matching what was happening in REAL LIFE. So when i got the most realist reading telling me about the situation and how it wasn’t going to happen (in a compassionate way) i felt FREE...FREEEEEE!

[wishes215]

I’ve been there so I know you feel. Sorry you went through that realization. This happened to me last summer. I was told by countless advisors he had feelings for me, it will take time for him to come back, there is something there. It’s been 10 months and hundreds of dollars on Keen and I never heard from him again. I didn’t go on a date for 9 months because I waited and held out hope. But that was my decision because I wanted to believe the fairytale when I should have accepted the reality of it. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens, just learn from it. And if you find yourself moving towards something similar remind yourself you deserve better and know if you’re heart when you walk away, you’re going to be just fine. If things don’t work out - you’re going to be fine. If he’s not interested, you’re still going to be fine.

I totally agree.

While I understand we (forum members) can provide support by saying things like “stay hopeful”.
I think its damaging in the end. Hope can be very damaging because it can make you hold on to things...its like a double edged sword....Hope can give you promise but also heartbreak. I too have waited for contact for a POI once - first time in my life ever back in 2016...held out for 4 months before contact. Just know usually when they come back, it is typically NEVER in the way that you would like!!

So I say stay Positive - meaning that in the end YOU will be ok, but not positive by meaning that the reader’s prediction will come true (especially if it is positive)

I also say stay SKEPTICAL (vs hopeful) for every reader you read with.
Just know things may or may not happen as they say.
For me the entertainment part comes in when they have a “hit”...then I get excited and amazed at how they were able to see such a prediction or situation...otherwise I stay skeptical so if something doesnt happen I’m not emotionally messed up or anything in the end.

This is so true Sparkles! Thank you for posting this. While I agree that most readers feed us fairytales ,  sometimes well meaning forum members do as well.     
When I first joined this forum, there was a really active chatroom with anywhere from  6 - 10 people joined at any one time.   
On one of the more busier days, a forum member announced that she just had a very difficult reading that she intuitively knew to be  true. She said that when the advisor told her that her ex would never return, she was relieved to finally hear the truth, and could now  feel the dawning of a new day.
It was amazing to see how virtually everyone in the room told her not to give up, and recommended other advisors that could give her new hope. 
I piped in and said that it was good news that she felt free, but no one seemed to share my view, instead blaming her advisor for being negative by taking her hope away.  Initially she stood her ground  but after a while of "pep talks", she agreed that it was possible that that advisor had it wrong and she should try others.
I asked and received permission to include her name and create a post addressing what had just gone down because I thought it might produce some interesting conversation, in addition to getting her to rethink her abandoning her new found freedom. I posted but there was no response. I am not sure why.  So again Sparkles, thank you for addressing this!

so interesting! this is the reason I once sought out readers who freely gave negative outcomes. it was literally to psych myself out of feeling hopeful. but there was a time it had a reverse affect, one -ve reading would coz me binge calling just to hear the outcome I wanted to hear. but after a while I realized what the end of that relationship was gonna be, but the weak me wanted to hear it from an expert and the -ve readers did the trick:))

[marybell]

I’ve been there so I know you feel. Sorry you went through that realization. This happened to me last summer. I was told by countless advisors he had feelings for me, it will take time for him to come back, there is something there. It’s been 10 months and hundreds of dollars on Keen and I never heard from him again. I didn’t go on a date for 9 months because I waited and held out hope. But that was my decision because I wanted to believe the fairytale when I should have accepted the reality of it. Don’t beat yourself up if this happens, just learn from it. And if you find yourself moving towards something similar remind yourself you deserve better and know if you’re heart when you walk away, you’re going to be just fine. If things don’t work out - you’re going to be fine. If he’s not interested, you’re still going to be fine.

I totally agree.

While I understand we (forum members) can provide support by saying things like “stay hopeful”.
I think its damaging in the end. Hope can be very damaging because it can make you hold on to things...its like a double edged sword....Hope can give you promise but also heartbreak. I too have waited for contact for a POI once - first time in my life ever back in 2016...held out for 4 months before contact. Just know usually when they come back, it is typically NEVER in the way that you would like!!

So I say stay Positive - meaning that in the end YOU will be ok, but not positive by meaning that the reader’s prediction will come true (especially if it is positive)

I also say stay SKEPTICAL (vs hopeful) for every reader you read with.
Just know things may or may not happen as they say.
For me the entertainment part comes in when they have a “hit”...then I get excited and amazed at how they were able to see such a prediction or situation...otherwise I stay skeptical so if something doesnt happen I’m not emotionally messed up or anything in the end.

This is so true Sparkles! Thank you for posting this. While I agree that most readers feed us fairytales ,  sometimes well meaning forum members do as well.     
When I first joined this forum, there was a really active chatroom with anywhere from  6 - 10 people joined at any one time.   
On one of the more busier days, a forum member announced that she just had a very difficult reading that she intuitively knew to be  true. She said that when the advisor told her that her ex would never return, she was relieved to finally hear the truth, and could now  feel the dawning of a new day.
It was amazing to see how virtually everyone in the room told her not to give up, and recommended other advisors that could give her new hope. 
I piped in and said that it was good news that she felt free, but no one seemed to share my view, instead blaming her advisor for being negative by taking her hope away.  Initially she stood her ground  but after a while of "pep talks", she agreed that it was possible that that advisor had it wrong and she should try others.
I asked and received permission to include her name and create a post addressing what had just gone down because I thought it might produce some interesting conversation, in addition to getting her to rethink her abandoning her new found freedom. I posted but there was no response. I am not sure why.  So again Sparkles, thank you for addressing this!

Wow! Thank YOU for this post. I was in the same situation....I knew intuitively i wouldn’t get back with my ex (from years ago)...and was actually looking for a reader to actually validate that...i was emotionally stuck on him so i did have a bit of hope.....instead i got fairytales but in reality what they were telling me was not matching what was happening in REAL LIFE. So when i got the most realist reading telling me about the situation and how it wasn’t going to happen (in a compassionate way) i felt FREE...FREEEEEE!

Congratulations, it sounds like it was life changing realization ! 
I failed to say that when I did not get a response to my first posting, I assumed that there was a technical glitch and was not visible in the forum, so I posted again a few days later , but still no response. Maybe people were afraid that if she gave up the battle, they too might have to ?  I do think they meant well.  They assumed she was sad, although she was saying otherwise , and wanted her to feel happy with hope. 
So nice to hear that you felt "FREE...FREEEEEE!" 

[tacobelle914]

Hey guys! Just thought I'd put in my two cents for those who want to hear it.

I think that telling someone not to reach out to their POI is often a convenient excuse for you to become dependent on readings. Also, if the person was ever interested in you their likelihood of re-initiating contact becomes greater when you do not make yourself constantly available. Their reasons for reaching out vary from person to person, and is never guaranteed.

HOWEVER, in some cases there are really good reasons not to contact someone.
Perhaps there are issues that you need to resolve on your end that would not benefit from contact with your POI (or that would hinder the connection between you). Maybe they are in a whirlwind of depression and cannot dedicate energy to a relationship at the time. Keep in mind these are reasons, not excuses.

What it all boils down to is the feeling in your GUT, your true intuition.

If you feel you should reach out, and not just because you want to hear from that person at any cost... but really feel that reaching out is the right thing to do for YOU, then nothing anybody says should stop you.

The same goes for not reaching out. Sometimes, you can think of a million things to say but know that it is not the time to say them.

What is most important to keep in mind, though, is that you CANNOT control how someone reacts to your actions. At least if you make the decision that resonates with you most, then you know you were being true to yourself and your journey instead of being dragged into a hope hole by a fairytale reader (or, on the flip side, forced into contacting someone when you knew it was not at all the right time). It is easier to face the consequences of an action that you chose than suffer from the consequences of an action you were manipulated into.

 

[Cc2019]

Hey guys! Just thought I'd put in my two cents for those who want to hear it.

I think that telling someone not to reach out to their POI is often a convenient excuse for you to become dependent on readings. Also, if the person was ever interested in you their likelihood of re-initiating contact becomes greater when you do not make yourself constantly available. Their reasons for reaching out vary from person to person, and is never guaranteed.

HOWEVER, in some cases there are really good reasons not to contact someone.
Perhaps there are issues that you need to resolve on your end that would not benefit from contact with your POI (or that would hinder the connection between you). Maybe they are in a whirlwind of depression and cannot dedicate energy to a relationship at the time. Keep in mind these are reasons, not excuses.

What it all boils down to is the feeling in your GUT, your true intuition.

If you feel you should reach out, and not just because you want to hear from that person at any cost... but really feel that reaching out is the right thing to do for YOU, then nothing anybody says should stop you.

The same goes for not reaching out. Sometimes, you can think of a million things to say but know that it is not the time to say them.

What is most important to keep in mind, though, is that you CANNOT control how someone reacts to your actions. At least if you make the decision that resonates with you most, then you know you were being true to yourself and your journey instead of being dragged into a hope hole by a fairytale reader (or, on the flip side, forced into contacting someone when you knew it was not at all the right time). It is easier to face the consequences of an action that you chose than suffer from the consequences of an action you were manipulated into.

I completely agree with this. I think that every situation is entirely different and we ultimately need to trust our gut instincts.