Frustrated and broke!

[Deedee]

Hi,

I’m new to this forum, greetings to all! I’m so happy this place exists.

Short backstory. I’ve spent the past 2-3 years falling hard for this guy I work with. He’s sweet, flirts with me on and off, and totally seems into me. Some days are better than others between us and I can never really tell if he’s just being a nice guy or if he’s really into me. This past October that question, is he into me or not, started to really fester. I’d never had psychic readings before then, but I found an app called psychic txt. I asked a bunch of them how he felt, most said he’s definitely into me. Well, here I am, seven months, countless readings and tons of money spent later, and I still have no way of knowing if this guy is into me or not.

I’ve heard we’re soulmates, he’s shy, he will tell me how he feels soon, he’s been hurt before and he’s scared of getting hurt again. A lot of them were pretty close to describing his personality. One, Sonya Starr Angel says in the next few months he’ll tell me how he feels about me. And yet i keep asking and asking. I’ve had readings on Kasamba, Zodiac Touch, California Psychics, Keen, Purple Garden and Purple Ocean, and Psychic Source. It got so bad, became such a bad habit that I spent an obscene amount of money asking question after question about this guy with a lot of yeses and a lot of no he doesn’t like you like that. And every time I got a “NO” I went on another binge until I found what I was looking for. At this point I don’t even know what I”m looking for as an answer anymore other than a way to stop using these sites.

I have to stop this trend i started and be done with it and let whatever is going to happen happen. I have such a bad urge tonight to get more readings about him once again even though i dont’ know what to believe anymore. I’ve followed some advice from a few of them, and I end up feeling dumb afterward because they managed to convince me that he really does have feelings for me and when the reaction doesn’t match, I get embarrassed and frustrated and go back on a binge of readings.

How do i stop this cycle?

[Natashanyc]

Hi,

I’m new to this forum, greetings to all! I’m so happy this place exists.

Short backstory. I’ve spent the past 2-3 years falling hard for this guy I work with. He’s sweet, flirts with me on and off, and totally seems into me. Some days are better than others between us and I can never really tell if he’s just being a nice guy or if he’s really into me. This past October that question, is he into me or not, started to really fester. I’d never had psychic readings before then, but I found an app called psychic txt. I asked a bunch of them how he felt, most said he’s definitely into me. Well, here I am, seven months, countless readings and tons of money spent later, and I still have no way of knowing if this guy is into me or not.

I’ve heard we’re soulmates, he’s shy, he will tell me how he feels soon, he’s been hurt before and he’s scared of getting hurt again. A lot of them were pretty close to describing his personality. One, Sonya Starr Angel says in the next few months he’ll tell me how he feels about me. And yet i keep asking and asking. I’ve had readings on Kasamba, Zodiac Touch, California Psychics, Keen, Purple Garden and Purple Ocean, and Psychic Source. It got so bad, became such a bad habit that I spent an obscene amount of money asking question after question about this guy with a lot of yeses and a lot of no he doesn’t like you like that. And every time I got a “NO” I went on another binge until I found what I was looking for. At this point I don’t even know what I”m looking for as an answer anymore other than a way to stop using these sites.

I have to stop this trend i started and be done with it and let whatever is going to happen happen. I have such a bad urge tonight to get more readings about him once again even though i dont’ know what to believe anymore. I’ve followed some advice from a few of them, and I end up feeling dumb afterward because they managed to convince me that he really does have feelings for me and when the reaction doesn’t match, I get embarrassed and frustrated and go back on a binge of readings.

How do i stop this cycle?

I think everyone has been there...im going thru a period of stopping myself. This forum helps extremely...try to stay busy and find things to do. Research these psychica u speak to before even calling them. Theres so much info on this forum and if u take it in right ur urge to call will drop increasingly. There are time when ppl or advisors come here to trick us but if u smart u will know the real from the fake. Im srry this happened n i wish u the best of luck!

[Natashanyc]

Oh and maybe ask him directly how he feels. Save ya money and pay attention to his signs and wat his response is

[dascallie]

whew!! I could have written this!

As far as how to stop---here is what has begun to work best for me. I tell myself I'm not going to spend a penny on readings for a week--then I push it to two weeks and so on. I seem to have to do this 'methadone' approach to kicking this heroin.

But I tell you, the best way to kick it is to see ourselves in the stories others write--like yours. When it starts to dawn on us that this really, truly is a powerful addiction and we damn sure better get ourselves off of this flypaper before it destroys our finances and stunts our lives, we can begin to pull away.

And to realize what our logical mind is screaming at us to WAKE UP to: if a man wants you, he will make it known to you. Period.

We are being extremely self destructive, hurting ourselves in desperately seeking and clinging to the kind of 'love' that doesn't seek us, that could actually care less, that runs hot and cold, that shows up, disappears---that marries somebody else out of nowhere. That have even told us bluntly they DON'T love us, but we continue, but for some sad and twisted reason, we MUST believe that they do, we just need to find the rare and brilliant psychic that can excavate the truth!

I'd venture to say anyone that finds themselves in this situation has deep, probably back to childhood, issues of fragile self worth.  Probably a poor kid with parental love that just wasn't.

If we don't come to terms with this, it will cannibalize us.

We could spend the rest of lives trying to do the impossible--trying to turn something cold, indifferent into something warm and embracing---if we can accomplish this miraculous thing, it would be the greatest indicator of our worth!

I believe it's the little child in us craving our birthright to be loved and accepted---and yet for some of us that's something that has always been elusive--the warmth and true love we didn't receive from our critical, essential, first love relationships--mom or dad, or both. Maybe they are too damaged to nurture properly themselves. And so it goes...

Your post helped me. Thank you.

[sawthelight]

Great thread. Can so relate too.

Has this guy indicated he would like to get to know you better outside of work?

[Hillcam]

I agree with Still Tired. If it won’t cause any issues at work, it’s better to ask him flat out if he’s interested or not. Obviously not in those words, but in the long run it’ll be easier to ask than to continue throwing money down the drain asking “psychics” what his intentions are.

Readings in my opinion will always be questionable because at the end of the day there’s no way to validate if they’re correct about feelings or intentions. Nobody knows exactly how he feels besides himself. There’s no second guessing what his intentions may be if you hear it straight from his mouth.

[sawthelight]

Not to mention, lots of guys don’t act on their feelings..jerks

[alphabetsoup]

I like this thread. 

Here's a couple things that have helped me:
I say to myself "calling this stranger doesn't change the fact that he's not with me, there's nothing they can say to me that will change this"

Agnes Vivarelli on youtube, not for a quick fix, but to understand how self love plays a role in the energy.


It helps me so much to know I'm not the only one here.  xoxo

[Hillcam]

There’s no second guessing what his intentions may be if you hear it straight from his mouth.

Exactly...well UNLESS he's the type who play games so much that even then you still have no idea.

True but if he’s that type no one should want anything to do with him anyway. I can’t stand people like that

[Deedee]

Thanks everyone for the support. I’m glad that I found this place, that my post helped someone and thankful for all the support.
The full story about this guy is, we became really good friends at work. We talk about our personal lives a lot, he has a brutal ex wife who he still has to deal with because of their son and at times he’s said he wouldn’t ever want to be in a relationship ever again. But at the same time he flirts with me treats me nice, seems to care about me and was there for me a lot. The signs and body language is all there that he likes me. But I haven’t said anything about how much I’m falling for him, I try to back off and not talk as much and rely on him as much and he comes to talk to me. In January he stopped interacting with me and pulled away which led me to spend even more of the money I was already spending on psychics. Things are getting better between us which is still sparking my need to know what the deal is, so I seek out more psychics. Most say he missed me and will tell me how he feels soon. Which makes me second guess everything I say and do because they say not to talk to him let him come to me. Which ultimately is not only messing with my head when he has a bad day and doesn’t come talk to me or tease me or joke with me, but avoiding him is messing with the friendship. These psychics are completely messing with me. I try to ask questions I know the answer to and some get it right but I still have a hard time believing them so I keep seeking out more psychics for more readings and end up even more confused.
At this point I need to stop spending all of this money. I have nothing to show for any of it. It’s just so frustrating to play the he loves me he loves me not game and yes he has extenuating circumstances and I want to believe the psychics that say he’s not playing with me he really has feelings for me and wants to talk to me. I don’t know what answer I’m looking for anymore. What I really need to do is stop this impulse to ask about him after every single interaction we have and let it be what it is. And yes to the person who said it’s stemming from my childhood, you’re right. I never had luck with guys and my ex messed me up even more. I just need to realize that no matter what this guy does good or bad it’s not worth blowing away all this money on this addiction. Lately while I’m talking to them I feel great. And then the next day I feel awful for throwing all this money out the window.
Thanks for listening and for the support. I really appreciate it a lot.

[sawthelight]

The full story about this guy is, we became really good friends at work. We talk about our personal lives a lot, he has a brutal ex wife who he still has to deal with because of their son and at times he’s said he wouldn’t ever want to be in a relationship ever again. But at the same time he flirts with me treats me nice, seems to care about me and was there for me a lot. The signs and body language is all there that he likes me.

Maybe you already have the answers you need . You know he likes you, he is attracted to you, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship. He may change his mind about that, or he might not. You might be his first choice if he does change his mind.

A lot of us have probably said or thought things like this when we were feeling bad about a past relationship. And it could be just be a passing mood you were feeling that day, or it can be something you change your mind about with time or with meeting someone new.

But look at it this way,  would you ever say this to someone (or in their hearing) if you think there is any possibility that you might want a relationship with them? And if a man says this to a woman, it might mean he would like to go to bed with you but not have any strings attached.

People usually tell us who they are and what they want, if we pay attention. If we get mixed signals, it shows they are conflicted inside. Whatever the conflict is, it is something they have to work out on their own and then decide what they want. There is not much you can do about it. It's hard because you feel what is there and want to do something to take it forward.

Under the circumstances, if you did get involved with him, what is likely to happen is it would go well for awhile. But as that early buzz wears off, his doubts will probably resurface. He may run hot and cold, or he might pull away. It will be like the way things are now, but exponentially more confusing and hurtful.

If he works through his problems on his own and then approaches you, the chances are much better that it will work out. But from what you already know about him, there are some red flags there no matter what. It doesn't mean he's a bad guy or anything like that, but it is risky to get involved with someone who is saying these things to you.

If you want to know where things stand with him, you could talk to him about dating or relationships in general and maybe ask him..."Remember when you were telling me you don't know if you ever want to be in a relationship again? Do you still feel that way?" His response to this would probably tell you everything you need to know.

Great great post tired

[Deedee]

You’re absolutely right, still tired. I need to regroup. This habit needs to be broken. I probably would have already moved on to someone who was consistent with me and let’s me know they’re into me instead of hanging on to predictions and time frames that never happened. Now this month and June he’s going to tell me how he feels according to the readings. I somehow don’t see it happening. I need to take a step back. I think these readings may have amplified my feelings for him and make me anxious and second guess myself any time I talk to him.
If I could do it all over again I would never had a single reading. Time to stop “waiting” as I was told to do because he’s going to tell me “soon” and get out there and find a guy who will appreciate me for who I am.

[Hillcam]

You’re absolutely right, still tired. I need to regroup. This habit needs to be broken. I probably would have already moved on to someone who was consistent with me and let’s me know they’re into me instead of hanging on to predictions and time frames that never happened. Now this month and June he’s going to tell me how he feels according to the readings. I somehow don’t see it happening. I need to take a step back. I think these readings may have amplified my feelings for him and make me anxious and second guess myself any time I talk to him.
If I could do it all over again I would never had a single reading. Time to stop “waiting” as I was told to do because he’s going to tell me “soon” and get out there and find a guy who will appreciate me for who I am.

You’re right. Getting readings keeps us all holding on to unhealthy relationships. Easier said than done but try to cut back, do things that make you feel good about yourself. Self love should come first and it’ll bring a man that you deserve.

[maroonlight]

You’re absolutely right, still tired. I need to regroup. This habit needs to be broken. I probably would have already moved on to someone who was consistent with me and let’s me know they’re into me instead of hanging on to predictions and time frames that never happened. Now this month and June he’s going to tell me how he feels according to the readings. I somehow don’t see it happening. I need to take a step back. I think these readings may have amplified my feelings for him and make me anxious and second guess myself any time I talk to him.
If I could do it all over again I would never had a single reading. Time to stop “waiting” as I was told to do because he’s going to tell me “soon” and get out there and find a guy who will appreciate me for who I am.

I'm going to say this, at some point the truth needs to come out, and yes that may mean you need to ask him and find out for yourself. We've all been here with the countless readings and timeframes that pass with no results. If you want to drop the readings and get closure, I think you should just bring it up. If he says he does not want to date you, then you have validation that the readers are completely full of BS and there's no reason to waste anymore money on them, as there isn't either way. That happened to me on two different guys, and I've called several about a 3rd one that is still pending, it's a pretty complicated story though.

Each time you call, you're going to get a different and farther time frame than before, regardless. The readings just keep you holding on to something that may potentially never happen. I would just calmly approach the situation and tell him and see how he responds. I wish you luck in this matter.

[njlady]

We talk about our personal lives a lot, he has a brutal ex wife who he still has to deal with because of their son and at times he’s said he wouldn’t ever want to be in a relationship ever again.

Sweetie, he's told you all you need to know.  He's not a healthy choice of a partner.  It doesn't matter if he is into you or not.   He's a non-starter.