False predictions

[allibai3]

As you guys know my ex and I are in contact again qoc18 predicted what he will say but in starting to think all the people who I thought was right is wrong. This weekend I asked my ex if we were not boyfriend and girlfriend and he confirmed that we are not. I then asked him where is this going . He said it will go wherever we let it go, pretty much just go with the flow. Then he said but if we keep arguing and bringing up the past it will go nowhere. My ex does not like to be remind or questioned about the way he broke up with me it's like he is ashamed but he did it. Anyway I now think think Aries intuition is right she said that we will not get back together because he won't offer me anything, it won't go anywhere and now I'm starting to see what she was saying. To be a jerk I told my ex hat I'm dating someone else and it is getting serious(which was immature of me but I wand upset) I'll be seeing him this weekend and will most likely need to cut him off. Him being hesitant about being in a relationship with me is unsettling. I'm not ready for us to jump right into a relationship but I would like to know that's where it is headed and in not going to be in limbo. Him saying that he figured what he wanted made me think he though about everything and was ready but right now I think we need to just cut the cord. He doesn't really love me like he said he does.

[tired of it all]

It's understandable to want to know where things are going in a relationship, but things just have to take their course.  It doesn't work to force things ahead or push someone to make a decision before they are ready. 

[bluebelle]

Ha, ahh Alibai...I did the same thing once (before this whole mess I have to deal with now). Actually, QoC was the one who recommended that I lie and tell my ex that I was dating someone...I did. He didn't care....initially, but whenever we'd have a little spat, he'd bring up "the other guy" and tell me to go run to him and the whole "you don't care about me anyway because you have him" blah blah.  Eventually, my ex and I got back on track, but then dfshifhgndjkgndkjgndkjgndfkgjdkgjdjkgnk happened and here I am lol

I wish I never would have started calling psychics, or if I did, I wish I was able to stop after two or three readings. I had been living my life, to a certain extent, based on what I was told and reacting to it, it's no wonder I'm where I am now as far my relationship is concerned. When my ex moved away for school, I saved up and even spoke to him about moving where he was. He admitted to me (something NONE of the psychics I had spoken to about 1.5-2 years ago (Alphafemale, QoC, Lisa Dianne, WLA) that the distance was too much and begged me to come out there. When I let psychics know that we had discussed it, one actually told me that he never moved (oh okay...I guess I hopped on a plane and traveled almost 2,000 miles for nothing then!), others told me it would be a mistake...I'm kicking myself now because I KNOW if I moved, we'd be together and happy. Every time I went to see him out there, we were perfect. We didn't have to deal with his ridiculous fake friends putting crap in his ear and telling him lies (the female friends, of course...god, this is why I can't stand females sometimes haha), none of the woes of back home. We were literally FREE. Now, I'm still back home and he's still out there and he met someone out there (they broke up now, but still). I'm not making an excuse as to why he did what he did, but I can kind of understand. Long-distance doesn't work for some/most relationships. He is like a kid, he needs someone there. I chose not to go based off what I was told by psychics and...here I am. The only psychics who seem to be on par with me NOW are Sincerity and Sapphire. I didn't start calling them until the middle of this year and only spoke to SIN 3 times and Sapphire once.

If he and I get back on track, I'm so done w/  psychics, even SIN and Sapphire. Maybe once a year, but seeing the effect of their "advice" and where it got me...man oh man. I take responsibility as well, but still. I'm just going to let it play out and do what I would normally do instead of what someone else suggests.

So true!  these readings can really be detrimental.

[tired of it all]

Even if they have real psychic ability, their "advice" about what to do can really screw things up!  And this is why I'm so especially leery of the ones who call themselves "life coaches" or say things on their listings like they will take you step by step through a relationship and guide you on what to do. 

To me that is not the job of a psychic, their job is to report what they see and let you decide.  Otherwise it's really no different than having a family member or friend meddling in things. 

Actually, QoC was the one who recommended that I lie and tell my ex that I was dating someone...I did. 

Wow...she told you to lie?!  WTF?! 

[allibai3]

Thanks for the story tthmopsj!I can really learn from you.My ex and I are long distance as well, I was planning to move closer to him when he decided to pull his infamous disappearing act.I am currently in the process of applying to PHD programs I will be applying to a few in his area but his indecisiveness is making me not want to apply to those places. When I told him the lie of going strong with someone else he asked me why am I coming to see him and I told him I wanted to see how I feel which is very true he then asked me what happens if I dont feel anything and I told him I dont know I will have to figure it out he did not reply.Its like nothing seems to phase him.He has a great poker face which really makes me feel like he doesnt care.I want to give him a push to man up but hes so freaking slow.

I agree with you and tiredofitall following the advice of psychics is a NO NO.If I listened to some of them my ex and I will not be talking right now.


I do hope that I didn't mess anything up but I honestly don't know.He sounded very unsure when I asked him where is this going. He at first told me to stop asking him those questions and to let things flow.When we got back together last year he did the same thing he  was not offering anything just keeping me in limbo saying hes not ready until I walked away and he maned up.I'm afraid its going to happen again.He gets me without the commitment.

I will not bring up the imaginary guy again. Hopefully he will forget about it lmfao

[Zenia]

I agree with you saying NOT follow advice.I get offended if anyone offers me advice.I can think for myself.The advice they give are so totally low sometimes also.I do not believe in lying,making a man jealous,or set up any kind of show.That is doomed to backfire.Law of karma.Be honest at all times.


However one time i did follow an advice from a male reader,that was a hit.
My loveintrest insulted me by saying i should go out more,and meet other men.I was so alone and bla bla.Go on a datingsite and so on.
Then a reader told me to remind him of something important:I work in a worldwide maledominated industry,where i talk to men online all day.Over the years we are talking about hundreds..So my chances of meeting men are rather good :)I am up to my ears in men 
I told my loveintest so,and he got very quiet..

[tired of it all]

When we got back together last year he did the same thing he  was not offering anything just keeping me in limbo saying hes not ready until I walked away and he maned up.I'm afraid its going to happen again.He gets me without the commitment.

I understand...I know this is tough. 

I feel like my ex gets me without offering anything at all...because that's just how I feel about him and have for years even before we had a relationship.  The only thing that makes any difference is whether he knows it or not, and I think by now he does know it no matter what I do.  I gave up fighting it or trying to make him think otherwise because it was so pointless. 

The one thing I might have done differently is to have not pressed him for an answer to where things were going between us or how he felt about me...so I'm really sorry if I harp on this.  It's something I have flashbacks about and wish I could do over again.  There can come a point too when you've had enough and just have to walk away, but only you can know when that is.  My only problem is I can say I'm done and walk away but I still feel the same way as ever.

[Leogirl0808]

Guys, just to add my two cents. Don't tell the guy you are seeing someone whether it's a month of knowing him or three years, it only hurts their ego and then they get all jerk like lol. It's almost them thinking then "why are you here"and " why are you calling me to tell me that".Men usually do things when they get time to think and on their terms. It totally sucks, I know. With this whole having an imaginary boyfriend, men sense that you're in it for some good old drama, more the reason they run. More the reason to just let him reach out, it's hard but better in the long run and avoids the emotions of yours. I have learned all this from my past experiences, it's hard. Men are unusual creatures, who take time to think, analyze (they think we are bad) and then proceed. Don't play games it can become deadly.

[tired of it all]

However one time i did follow an advice from a male reader,that was a hit.
My loveintrest insulted me by saying i should go out more,and meet other men.I was so alone and bla bla.Go on a datingsite and so on.
Then a reader told me to remind him of something important:I work in a worldwide maledominated industry,where i talk to men online all day.Over the years we are talking about hundreds..So my chances of meeting men are rather good :)I am up to my ears in men 
I told my loveintest so,and he got very quiet..

LOL...that was clever advice.

Most of the male readers have usually given me advice like:  DON'T contact him, don't ask any friends about him, don't post anything where he can see it or only post happy things, don't let him know that you miss him, let him come to you.  All that might have been good advice if I had followed it.      

Female readers have tended to give me advice like...suggestions on how and when to contact, tell him how you feel...pretty much every time I have followed advice like that it has blown up in my face. 

[tired of it all]

Guys, just to add my two cents. Don't tell the guy you are seeing someone whether it's a month of knowing him or three years, it only hurts their ego and then they get all jerk like lol. It's almost them thinking then "why are you here"and " why are you calling me to tell me that".Men usually do things when they get time to think and on their terms. It totally sucks, I know. With this whole having an imaginary boyfriend, men sense that you're in it for some good old drama, more the reason they run. More the reason to just let him reach out, it's hard but better in the long run and avoids the emotions of yours. I have learned all this from my past experiences, it's hard. Men are unusual creatures, who take time to think, analyze (they think we are bad) and then proceed. Don't play games it can become deadly.

Yes, well said and quoted for truth.  Especially the men are unusual creatures part, lol. 

But the deadly part too, things can get way out of control especially when there's any jealousy involved.

[Zenia]

Most of the male readers have usually given me advice like:  DON'T contact him, don't ask any friends about him, don't post anything where he can see it or only post happy things, don't let him know that you miss him, let him come to you.  All that might have been good advice if I had followed it.      

Female readers have tended to give me advice like...suggestions on how and when to contact, tell him how you feel...pretty much every time I have followed advice like that it has blown up in my face.

This is intresting.I think the male advice are far better actually.You know the good old "Mars and Venus"books?They totally pointed out exactly this.
Yes,female advice about telling him how you feel,can be a total miss.And to seduce him and so on.That has never worked for me.

[Leogirl0808]

There is a male psychic people rave about "psychic Andrew", what a wacko he is. He calls himself psychic Romeo... he drags on to talk for you to add money and usually says "did that happen"
Um, you tell me. He writes blogs, there is one on how to get your man to call or take you on a date.

[tired of it all]

If I could go back and do things over, I'd probably follow more of the male readers' advice...and definitely ignore some of the advice I got from female readers.

Melody Marie has been the exception, she has given me great advice on many different things.  What she has told me regarding past hurts, is sometimes it is better to just let things rest and not talk about it anymore.   

[tired of it all]

If your guy has come back, see that as a sign that it isn't about you having to go through more heartache, that maybe, this time, YOU will decide the fate of this relationship based on what YOU, and only YOU, feels is the right thing for you to do in this moment.

We're here for you!

This too. 

[allibai3]

Thank you guys so much for all your advice and support.I feel bad about making up the imaginary guy smh lol. @Presence you are right!I do want him to make it better ,I am hurting a lot and all I want him to do is make it all go away and make it better and it hurts to see that he is being dismissive which is most likely because he does not know what to say. He gets defensive because he doesn't know how to put things into words.I just want him to make it all better and erase the way I am feeling by showing me that he really loves me like he says he does which is by stop trying to put me in limbo and control everything and wake the hell up.

@Leo
when he came back in March apologizing I cut things off telling him he needed to figure what he wanted.Him telling him that he figured out what he wanted made me believe that he thought things through all aspects which also meant getting back into a relationship. Him telling me to let things flow shows me that he did not do anything.