Atomic Habits

[Mina]

Ok still struggling to fully quit psychics…

But!
I did make a work/career decision without consulting psychics nor did I  even go to my usual advice for groups like my manifesting forums. Which is huge personal win for me! I wrote out the cons and pros, then my fears, and the why I wanted to do this thing (basically I want to quit 3-4 months these jobs and was scared I’d let ppl down if they like me- but I’m doing it anyways, plus bills gotta get paid) … still scary, lots of uncertainty (what if those jobs don’t work out or I like here more or there’s another lockdown situation) … but again I remind myself uncertainty is the human experience, it is PART of life, and part of the best surprises of life. No amount of psychic can take away that fear away… if anything they do seem to add more fear, keep more in uncertainty and no amount of secret hidden things I’ve could have done better. There will always be some kind of hindsight.

Im posting this cause I’m also sitting with my fear but I also want to pose this goal for me to finish listening to the book “atomic habits” by the end of Dec. And I guess this is the theme of this post of book recommendation of the month

This time last year was the most devastating moment of my life… I did have panic attack on Friday and wondered if it was sign of PTSD… but by Monday it snowballed per happenstance to something better. I came across the concept PTG- post traumatic growth. Its fascinating subject matter but choosing to have hope, faith even when the fear, anxiety, trauma still seems real or present.

I’m also deep into manifesting and question it but part of manifesting is to have the FOCUS on your goal and HAVES,  not dwelling on the doubts, fears, and lacks. It’s seems to me there will always be time to worry so as a mind flip can I make more times to FOCUS on the HAVES and GOALS. If my brain were to have a democratic vote then choosing in to have faith, trust would be 51% versus the doubt, fear, anxiety 49%. That’s all you need… or so I’m told, to make identity shift… and while I believe in manifesting not many communities talk about the actual behavioral changes that matches the Identity … many would rather visual it away and I find that welp “faith without works” thing.

Soooo I want to share another small, hard, but very effective change I am doing …first thing in the morning reflect/meditate 5 -10 min in gratitude. No ifs and buts, AND ideally before anything else like: checking my phone, social media, the news, this group, and psychics, reddits… I’ll prob get up before my alarm, pee, then head back to bed before the alarm goes off. And I’ll force myself to say “thanks for this bed, my rest, the warmth, clean water, the hot shower I have to look forward too, etc” and I can’t think that clearly so early in the morning no one can but I’ll try as drifting off back to sleep. It does help, and I am noticing it keeps my general mood positive.

I have studied that this is enough to set the intention of the day, program a bit of that RAS (reticular activating system- the ability tune in out and of conversations, pick up cues, and create new neural linguistic pathways)

It does put my brain in a good mood. So far it seems like I do this 3-4 times week where I do do this.

So book of the month for me and anyone looking to change approach this from behavioral aspect
Atomic Habits

There at least two free audiobooks on YT

[Notacrystalfreak]

Well done! Sounds like you’re making progress!

[Mina]

So this vent for me… and I’m hesitant to post this because I haven’t been exactly had a break from psychics - BUT I have been working my butt off and good things do happen when you do!

Sooooo… I feel like got more movement from a relationship coach than psychics …or manifestations techniques! (Sounds like a great click bait title… but I dunno if that’s the point t I want to make because it’s not entirely true. Some concepts do overlap) But I have been in this relationship group  coaching (I paid for) and I asked if I could reach out for Christmas or the holidays. The advice given to me was not to be in “expectation” energy, like only do it if I feel good and not in the expectation mode, or anxious, or wanting. My “coach” said he felt I was more positive and keeping with the mindset of no contact. So I did not reach out for Thanksgiving, nor Christmas… not New Year’s Eve… I did reach out though for New Years Day, and he did respond quite warmly. And that’s it… maybe more I dunno, it feels good. It feels really good actually, and at the time just an “even keel” space

But the mindset of no-contact when I look back I did genuinely work on not calling psychics during this time (or as much as possible), I did have a really an amazing breakdown (yes a breakdown) around Thanksgiving and I didn’t jump into a manifesting technique, or ask psychics how to handle it.

I feel like around Thanksgiving I genuinely had an inner-me-connection- awareness while my family was fighting and …ovens were breaking …and the saltiest overbrined turkey was baked. But despite this I was able to hold myself during the breakdown and it was the best ugly cry I had and that really pales in comparison to any love I have for anyone. Being able to hold myself and see why I acted the way I did during the falling out I had with my ex and the short answer: I was acting from wounded childhood ego, and that was coming up again. I can hold this part of me but it cannot lead.

Ugh… As much as I want to post the awful terrible advisors who were really negative, terribly wrong, who I felt like their intention was to make me feel worse after a reading … I realize many do check this site. At first it was like well this is their livelihood… but no these advisors genuinely do more harm than good, and when the time comes I will revel their names. But not yet. But know if that if an advisor feels like they put you down, or you just feel worse, then perhaps ask this: does this advisor have my spiritual back? Do I align with they believe?

So on manifesting… I had gotten to several burnouts in the past. Doing techniques.. and then another …and then calling a psychic “to check for movement”… then techniques, I feel I really gotten to unhealthy place with manifesting too. Know that is not manifesting. This ain’t it! And the more techniques I’d do, the worse I’d feel. So while there are lots of styles (law of assumption, law of attraction, law of vibration) with great source of information this also feels like another type of rat race, and so much work! And mental fatigue. Another huge thing for me in Nov was to just stop with techniques and allow my discomfort to be there -feeling good for you is what matters most before any of that stuff… and what you do in between too! So after doing a technique then the best thing to do is: live your life, FOCUS on other goals… and that’s my challenge currently (and that does align with the values of relationship coach videos I’ve been watching)

Okay… how do I FOCUS back onto to me that isn’t an SP thing. Welp, I am getting nervous again, but I do feel just confident it will be okay.

ALSO… Something HUGE happened with my finances. (Breathe) I ummm got over now $2,000 in credit card debt erased 😳, and this is part manifestation, part spirit! Or maybe all spirit I dunno! But I better thank them and give credit to where credit is due! Okay and yes part action on my part! I basically have been calling my credit card and making payment arrangements. With one credit card I qualified due to family member being ill.

I also have been working on psalm magic, and have been working it for about month. I have been saving money, and doing my best to as soon as I get paid via gig work, take all that money out, and go on cash basis, and like I said before in atomic habit post change a new habits. And so starting off my day not checking these psychics sites first thing in the morning. My new habit first thing in the morning: be thankful 5 min (while I hit snooze in my bed. I’m thankful for my bed, the warmth, my rest, my family…and I just list anything everything that helps me be just grateful ) then before sunrise read psalm… or meditate. And I’m realizing it’s maybe not exactly reading psalms or meditation… but how much I crave connection within me and within God… I think that a huge part to my psychic addiction. That for me I really crave connection with spirituality, and in some way manifesting wasn’t doing it for me.

So I think that created some huge changes for the new year!

But I do feel uncomfortable. It’s been a few days with it… I have over $1000 back in credit, my mouth drops in awe of this, and I can’t wait until next month for my new credit score to go up! Crap, so my dumbass butt better not spend any of this! … it’s surprising kind of stress I didn’t expect.

And back to SP - my relationship coach said don’t put him on pedestal … and that’s also similar manifesting advice too! …but I dunno how. I do and don’t want to reach out, it feels like good even place to leave things at… and now that’s almost been a week I see my brain is getting curious how to solve this. But my relationship coach advice was, and the gist of most relationships videos, even manifesting: FOCUS yourself and lots of other things don’t make it all about them.

So I need to remind myself this too
This probably seems scatter but I just really want to say you do reap what you sow. If you put the work in good things do come! And I wasn’t “perfect” about this either … but feeling like I got some miracles under me, I feel it’s up to me to keep going.