Metaphysical, Spiritual and Psychic Discussions > Keen.com
Not exactly psychic related, but what would you do?
massine:
--- Quote from: Pinkamena on June 29, 2020, 02:18:17 AM ---
--- Quote from: massine on June 29, 2020, 01:38:04 AM ---
--- Quote from: Caroline10 on June 28, 2020, 11:58:01 PM ---Thanks-you’re right. She’ll find out
--- End quote ---
You're sweet for caring but she could be super defensive and start a fight with you. As tough as it is, she'll soon learn
Congratulations on getting out of that messy situation though! <3
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--- Quote from: Caroline10 on June 28, 2020, 11:49:36 PM ---A former poi is a serial cheater. He may be trying to remedy this, but he has been known to have secret liaisons, hides condoms in his car, and does not always use protection. This is what I know but do not know if he’s changed for sure.
I don’t know his girlfriend and don’t want to get involved, but wondering if she should be gently warned about what she’s getting into. Or just let it be and let time reveal this side? He has caused a lot of pain in his past with several women. Thanks!
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Wtf?!
You want to tell your FORMER POI’s the person they are CURRENTLY seeing that YOUR FORMER POI is a serial cheater? There’s nothing “sweet” about that scenario !
I’m sorry but i feel this is underhand behavior. And what I say next and I mean this super GENTLY as possible: check yourself
Yes, on one you hand I’m sure you care and have empathy for all beings, and so forth. But why does their behavior still bother you? What does their behavior have anything to do with you? It shouldn’t... if they’re in the past and it’s former... so I do think there’s still hidden layer of resentment for that former POI... or something that may still hurt
which BE CAREFUL this could be sabotaging behavior masked with things that one presume as caring behavior
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Wow...
All I said was she was sweet for caring for the other girls well being, and I stick by that. I didn't say the situation was sweet, I said Caroline caring about the feelings of the other person was ,sweet even though she had been hurt. Sometimes other people care too much about people who are in the same situation they were in and being empathetic is hard! But I'm glad we agree on the same outcome.
I'm a trainee professional in mental health and I understand how sometimes people are driven by altruistic views and I viewed this situation from that standpoint (wanting to help others in a perceived negative situation similar to one we've experienced) rather than a sabotage Situation but I see where you're coming from too :)
massine:
--- Quote from: Pinkamena on June 29, 2020, 04:46:06 AM ---Yeah - no, let me apologize !!!
I felt initially angry reading the situation and the idea of the it being “sweet”, but thanks for clarifying that cause I did misread that too, and presumed/assumed something else
However I do think if it bugs her enough to talk about it, and I guess this probably a start with the boards, but perhaps someone in their immediate circle of friends or with a professional
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Oh gosh no lol I should've clarified that, sorry! Definitely talking with a professional would be a good idea especially if trashy men like that can so freely cheat and lie! Been there, done that, had the therapy 😭😂
Plus having a good rant to friends is always a good idea!
Caroline10:
Thanks for the input. I don’t wish to get involved and interfere. That’s not what I want to do...there’s no revenge or wanting to see him suffer. I was hurt, yes, but there are other women that I know who were hurt because they trusted in someone who appears to be kind and decent, but really has another side that could is deceitful and cold. And possibly put another woman at risk health-wise. When I knew the truth, he didn’t want me to tell anyone because it would damage his reputation. I do know that he cheated on her for sure. I don’t keep in contact, but it makes my stomach turn that yet one more person is going to have something happen that she doesn’t deserve.
What bothers me is that I feel like someone else is about to get hurt, and I’m sad for her. My take was that if I trusted in someone and they turned out to be an asshole the whole time, I might have wanted an idea. This only comes from a place of feeling like this was a painful lesson-for me and other women-and I hate to see someone else be a victim.
As far as counseling goes and friends go, I have both :) the counselor feels that he suffers from a personality disorder or sexual addiction. I only decided to reach out here because so many of us are or were dealing with relationship issues. Maybe someone else here was in a situation where they wish they’d have known.
Caroline10:
Thank you for the advice! It would be different if this were someone I knew and since I don’t know her, it could potentially make things worse or backfire. Whatever happens with this will happen and I can’t worry about it-this involves them and their path
jolimano:
I have a newer friend who was in a long term relationship. She felt a powerful connection with him when they first met and she thought they were going to go far. I only met her boyfriend once, and I immediately got a, "Whoa, he is not genuine and too 'perfect' of a guy" and I felt like, a sociopath type of energy from him. But since my friend and I hadn't been friends that long, I could very much be wrong so I didn't say anything to her. She surely must know him better than I do, right?
A couple months later his behavior had been changing and she got suspicious, so she dug through his stuff and found out he had been cheating on her with many, many women. She was traumatized and her whole world came crashing down.
It's hard to say. If someone knew that about my POI, I would definitely want to know and appreciate that person telling me. But there is a difference with telling a friend, as opposed to telling a stranger. Your heart is in the right place, but telling a stranger can have too many negative chain of events.
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