Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
What do I do???
Ash1234567:
I also got into the mindset that she was a rebound and he would come back after 6 months or so. So that time I could of spent trying to move on, I spent waiting! I have days where moving on is fine, but others I just want him back
maggs30:
Honestly fuck him and his closure or excuses. LOL I can say that now because I waited on a fool for years. Yes plural. I never got closure and I wanted to know why so bad. And I saw him at least twice a week. I reached out, I sent gifts, I asked to just be friends again. He publicly humiliated me at one point and I still hung onto hope. I finally started letting go and God brought me Alex. The other jerk had taught me lessons in patience and not smothering another person. Both things I needed to make the best future with Alex. My ass was crazy towards the other fool. Checking on him daily watching him and pouring my heart into hand written letters. Take the lessons from this man, learn from them, evaluate why he's even worthy to take up space in your head and heart and open yourself to something better coming in.
Ash1234567:
You know I really wish I could, it would be a lot easier if something was wrong in the relationship but there wasn’t? Before I met him, he was my ideal guy, what I wished for and I got him which is why I think I’m finding it so hard to move on. Also because it’s hard to believe I could be with someone better than him... sounds crazy I know. Maybe one day I’ll figure this whole moving on stuff out !!! Thanks for your advice !!
--- Quote from: maggs30 on January 17, 2020, 06:55:10 AM ---Honestly fuck him and his closure or excuses. LOL I can say that now because I waited on a fool for years. Yes plural. I never got closure and I wanted to know why so bad. And I saw him at least twice a week. I reached out, I sent gifts, I asked to just be friends again. He publicly humiliated me at one point and I still hung onto hope. I finally started letting go and God brought me Alex. The other jerk had taught me lessons in patience and not smothering another person. Both things I needed to make the best future with Alex. My ass was crazy towards the other fool. Checking on him daily watching him and pouring my heart into hand written letters. Take the lessons from this man, learn from them, evaluate why he's even worthy to take up space in your head and heart and open yourself to something better coming in.
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maggs30:
--- Quote from: Ash1234567 on January 17, 2020, 07:03:46 AM ---You know I really wish I could, it would be a lot easier if something was wrong in the relationship but there wasn’t? Before I met him, he was my ideal guy, what I wished for and I got him which is why I think I’m finding it so hard to move on. Also because it’s hard to believe I could be with someone better than him... sounds crazy I know. Maybe one day I’ll figure this whole moving on stuff out !!! Thanks for your advice !!
--- Quote from: maggs30 on January 17, 2020, 06:55:10 AM ---Honestly fuck him and his closure or excuses. LOL I can say that now because I waited on a fool for years. Yes plural. I never got closure and I wanted to know why so bad. And I saw him at least twice a week. I reached out, I sent gifts, I asked to just be friends again. He publicly humiliated me at one point and I still hung onto hope. I finally started letting go and God brought me Alex. The other jerk had taught me lessons in patience and not smothering another person. Both things I needed to make the best future with Alex. My ass was crazy towards the other fool. Checking on him daily watching him and pouring my heart into hand written letters. Take the lessons from this man, learn from them, evaluate why he's even worthy to take up space in your head and heart and open yourself to something better coming in.
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Trust me I know! My mom gave me the same advice I just gave you. I took me another 6 months to let go. What I finally did was started ignoring him. At first I would disappear for a week to where he didn't see me. Just to see if he worried about me. Then I stretched it to two weeks. By the time I met Alex I had stretched it to 6 weeks and you know not once did the guy check on me. At that point I knew regardless if he didn't think I was worth checking on then I didn't want or need him. And it was tough. I'm not going to lie. That first week just about killed me. Then I staged it so he saw me. Relief for me and he smiled when he saw me. Got the hope back and stretched to two weeks again he smiled when he saw me. The pattern continued and I'm sure if I staged a run in even now 10 months later he would smile but not take any action. I wondered what was so wrong with me. What I did wrong how I had ruined things. We never fought either. And it still didn't matter. He didn't want serious or at least not with me. His loss.
maggs30:
--- Quote from: SeeDoSay on January 17, 2020, 07:10:18 AM ---
--- Quote from: Ash1234567 on January 17, 2020, 07:03:46 AM ---You know I really wish I could, it would be a lot easier if something was wrong in the relationship but there wasn’t? Before I met him, he was my ideal guy, what I wished for and I got him which is why I think I’m finding it so hard to move on. Also because it’s hard to believe I could be with someone better than him... sounds crazy I know. Maybe one day I’ll figure this whole moving on stuff out !!! Thanks for your advice !!
--- Quote from: maggs30 on January 17, 2020, 06:55:10 AM ---Honestly fuck him and his closure or excuses. LOL I can say that now because I waited on a fool for years. Yes plural. I never got closure and I wanted to know why so bad. And I saw him at least twice a week. I reached out, I sent gifts, I asked to just be friends again. He publicly humiliated me at one point and I still hung onto hope. I finally started letting go and God brought me Alex. The other jerk had taught me lessons in patience and not smothering another person. Both things I needed to make the best future with Alex. My ass was crazy towards the other fool. Checking on him daily watching him and pouring my heart into hand written letters. Take the lessons from this man, learn from them, evaluate why he's even worthy to take up space in your head and heart and open yourself to something better coming in.
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Just because there was "nothing wrong" with the relationship doesn't mean it was great. I'm sure if you look close enough you could probably see the signs.
I felt this way about my relationship with my ex, there was nothing wrong with our relationship, we got along well, never fought everything was fine.
But for him he just wasn't *in* love with me like that and that's why nothing was "wrong" - he didn't feel strongly enough about me one way or another for us to have issues and we got along just fine so it was companionable but for him something was missing.
And if I think about it something was missing for me too. There was just that lack of passion or the big spark. We could have easily hung out with each other for the rest of our lives but it would have never been "my god I love this guy/girl" levels.
It took me a very long time to understand that, prob not until I met someone I actually click with on all levels did I realize it. I spent a long time being confused as to why my ex didn't want to be with me because in my mind "nothing was wrong"
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This! I could have been comfortable with the other guy. We got along. We had been friends for years. It was fine and nice and safe. With Alex I have tear each others clothes off chemistry no matter how often or not often along with finishing each others sentences knowing what the other is thinking with out them saying it reading each others moods and being silly and laying there singing twinkle twinkle little star together at 2am. Don't settle for less than this.
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