Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
logical vs illogical
Lovefash67:
I have been reading with psychics since 2016 over a guy that I loved who broke up with me repeatedly. Various psychics said that we will get back together and that he still loves me but doesn’t want to be committed but to wait and he will get it together. Yona and Kiesha said from the start that we will not get back together but we will still be talking to each other . Kiesha expresses he may mature in 2 years or so.Logically I should have looked at the facts and how he was treating me and took it for face value but I kept thinking well all these psychics say he still loves me and blah blah. Why is it that , we sometimes ignore the facts and what we are being shown but instead listen to readers and what they have to say especially when they have never met us and our POi ?They only seem to get snap shot pieces of things. Now of course, In my psychic journey I have not done logical things but I realized that instead of using my own brain and doing what I know is right I continue to do the wrong thing I guess it’s because I want to help predications move along so ,I continue to do illogical things but it really just doesn’t make sense to do it. Even now , reading with Yona(idk if she’s mixing energies) but she predicted a KOW for me since I started reading with her I always thought it was someone new and her predictions didn’t start happening till now but with an ex, an ex who happens to have a gf. She says that she is not the obstacle but when I think of it logically why should I even continue entertaining(talking ) to a guy who has a girlfriend like what the hell am I expecting to happen. Logically it doesn’t make sense and it’s immoral but illogically she is saying that we are going to be together but where do you draw the line ? I’m sorry, this is pretty much a rant but my personal experience with psychics has thought me that if the facts are not matching up with what a psychic is telling me then most likely the prediction is not going to happen. If it does happen great but why can’t it happen while I keep my dignity and remove myself from situations that just bring me more pain or drama. What do you guys think? Do you feel or have you felt that instead of following your intuition or mind that you instead illogically follow what a psychic says?
Star_01:
Lovefash67, I completely agree with you. I always use logic with my readings and one reader told me that logic is important.
I have been in 2 situations with 2 different POI's and what most of the readers said weren't realistic which is why readings lost their magic, and surprise surprise their predictions didn't happen. I knew deep down that what readers were telling me wasn't logical or what could be possible and that's when I slowly weaned off of the readings and what helped me. Of course you always will have a couple who up front admit that yes I will likely get contact but nothing will change and the person is a waste of time - however that may well be just common sense.
There has been a discussion already about how long too long is. Logic to me would state if the relationship has come to the point where your POI is in out shake it all about and you're consulting psychics - it's not looking for a good future. A healthy relationship is where a couple has arguments but then talks things through with each other and moves on. Not one person disappearing for weeks/months on end and coming back when it suits them. Or needing to meet another person/s/sex with others to realise that they really want you. To me that isn't very genuine and I could never forgive someone for that. Men seem to have the habit of popping in and out of our lives when it suits them, sometimes many years onwards but it is upto us to decide if they can be worthy of forgiveness. We have to, as you put Lovefash67, balance up the pro's and con's on the situation and decide if really, it's worth the time and energy or if sadly it is time to move on and venture onto new things. I was told once by a family member to sit with them and do a pro box and con box and write out in each column the good and bad.. Well, you can guess which column filled up quicker 🙄 The issue is we are madly in love at the time and we allow much more than we should from someone, we put up with lots of behaviour that we wouldn't from a friend or sometimes family member. Hell, we're wasting hundreds and thousands on these POI's and holding onto lots of hope.
I think we definitely need to use logic in our situations and be careful to take our readings with a pinch of salt whilst continuing with our lives, even though that is very difficult (and easy to say). After all, most of what readers say rarely happens.
Star_01:
--- Quote from: ladya on August 28, 2019, 01:31:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on August 28, 2019, 12:59:49 PM ---Lovefash67, I completely agree with you. I always use logic with my readings and one reader told me that logic is important.
I have been in 2 situations with 2 different POI's and what most of the readers said weren't realistic which is why readings lost their magic, and surprise surprise their predictions didn't happen. I knew deep down that what readers were telling me wasn't logical or what could be possible and that's when I slowly weaned off of the readings and what helped me. Of course you always will have a couple who up front admit that yes I will likely get contact but nothing will change and the person is a waste of time - however that may well be just common sense.
There has been a discussion already about how long too long is. Logic to me would state if the relationship has come to the point where your POI is in out shake it all about and you're consulting psychics - it's not looking for a good future. A healthy relationship is where a couple has arguments but then talks things through with each other and moves on. Not one person disappearing for weeks/months on end and coming back when it suits them. Or needing to meet another person/s/sex with others to realise that they really want you. To me that isn't very genuine and I could never forgive someone for that. Men seem to have the habit of popping in and out of our lives when it suits them, sometimes many years onwards but it is upto us to decide if they can be worthy of forgiveness. We have to, as you put Lovefash67, balance up the pro's and con's on the situation and decide if really, it's worth the time and energy or if sadly it is time to move on and venture onto new things. I was told once by a family member to sit with them and do a pro box and con box and write out in each column the good and bad.. Well, you can guess which column filled up quicker 🙄 The issue is we are madly in love at the time and we allow much more than we should from someone, we put up with lots of behaviour that we wouldn't from a friend or sometimes family member. Hell, we're wasting hundreds and thousands on these POI's and holding onto lots of hope.
I think we definitely need to use logic in our situations and be careful to take our readings with a pinch of salt whilst continuing with our lives, even though that is very difficult (and easy to say). After all, most of what readers say rarely happens.
--- End quote ---
I agree but disagree at the same time. i agree on the initial part what you mentioned but everyone's journey is different. there may be things they need to learn to realize how they feel about someone. maybe you'll still be around or maybe you would have moved on. but plenty of people get together because they realized how much they loved each other. i rather be with someone who has to go through something to be with someone who falls out of love with me as time goes on. sometimes neither has to happen. all im saying is every relationship is different. some take a straight road, some take a curvy one. doesn't mean either is wrong. if you really loved someone and were still in love with them and they showed up at your door, you wouldn't forgive them just because they took some time to realize? then you've never been in love. this does not excuse bad behavior. im talking about a normal relationship where things just fell apart. men dont function like we do. i am mostly surrounded by men (friendships and work life). i have all my life. half the time they dont realize things until it hits them straight into the head or are told directly. my advice is forgive everyone, not for them but for yourself. doesnt mean you end up with them but forgive them because resentment and bitterness is not going to build in them but within you.
--- End quote ---
I'm sorry but I completely disagree. So I should accept someone who disappeared for months on end or slept with or saw other women and suddenly want to know me, or I don't love them? Each to their own but I completely disagree there and would rather have respect for myself than allow someone the green light to say okay go away for a few months and do what you like I'll still be here. I'm a doormat pretty much when it comes to guys and far too forgiving but the longer someone leaves something and shows no sorrow, manages to date and see other women the less I could ever move forwards or forgive them.
It has nothing to do with me being bitter, it is about me saying you chose your decision and I am better than that and won't allow someone to come in and out of my life whenever it suits them. I think that personally that is much healthier.
Without sounding rude our experiences with men are much different to each other. I've never had a man go and come back and be genuine about being sorry and realising what he's done. There was always a motive or it was disingenuous. You are luckier and honestly I don't mean to sound rude but seem to have men see you on a pedestal and respect you. That's why I posted what I did. I have seen nothing but the bad and selfish side of men returning. The same with my friends and family and their exes, it never has been genuine. Even they said that themselves.
Maybe I also should have been clearer - do I believe that it is possible anybody can go and realise their feelings for you in time? I believe that applies - geninuely - in specific situations such as someone with depression who pushes you away, or commitment phobic. But when it comes to wanting to have their cake and eat it and enjoying the single life, mixed in with how they treated you in the relationship (abusive or no) if they come back all sorrowful in my personal opinion that's a self serving false oh shit what did I do I want her now, now I'm ready. And that's wrong and on their terms. But if other women accept that that's upto them I'm just posting personally how I feel and apologise if others disagree.
Lovefash67:
Thank you everyone for your input . I do believe that what is meant to be will happen. I also think that being logical helps you keep a sane mind, and promotes future healthy relationships and self love . I feel like reading with psychics has allowed me to be in self denial. Ladya, I hear what your saying yes for some men they make the mistake of leaving and then genuinely realizing that they messed up but I don’t think that’s majority of men. In my heart,I always feel like why should a women settle for a man who has broken her heart several times over and over just because she loves him? Why can’t she have more love for herself and decided that you know what yes I love this person and yes it’s hard for me to let them go but I deserve better and I can find someone who won’t intentionally cross boundaries and do all these deal breakers? When is the best the time to come to this conclusion?
Star_01:
--- Quote from: ladya on August 28, 2019, 03:51:14 PM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on August 28, 2019, 02:04:40 PM ---
--- Quote from: ladya on August 28, 2019, 01:31:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on August 28, 2019, 12:59:49 PM ---Lovefash67, I completely agree with you. I always use logic with my readings and one reader told me that logic is important.
I have been in 2 situations with 2 different POI's and what most of the readers said weren't realistic which is why readings lost their magic, and surprise surprise their predictions didn't happen. I knew deep down that what readers were telling me wasn't logical or what could be possible and that's when I slowly weaned off of the readings and what helped me. Of course you always will have a couple who up front admit that yes I will likely get contact but nothing will change and the person is a waste of time - however that may well be just common sense.
There has been a discussion already about how long too long is. Logic to me would state if the relationship has come to the point where your POI is in out shake it all about and you're consulting psychics - it's not looking for a good future. A healthy relationship is where a couple has arguments but then talks things through with each other and moves on. Not one person disappearing for weeks/months on end and coming back when it suits them. Or needing to meet another person/s/sex with others to realise that they really want you. To me that isn't very genuine and I could never forgive someone for that. Men seem to have the habit of popping in and out of our lives when it suits them, sometimes many years onwards but it is upto us to decide if they can be worthy of forgiveness. We have to, as you put Lovefash67, balance up the pro's and con's on the situation and decide if really, it's worth the time and energy or if sadly it is time to move on and venture onto new things. I was told once by a family member to sit with them and do a pro box and con box and write out in each column the good and bad.. Well, you can guess which column filled up quicker 🙄 The issue is we are madly in love at the time and we allow much more than we should from someone, we put up with lots of behaviour that we wouldn't from a friend or sometimes family member. Hell, we're wasting hundreds and thousands on these POI's and holding onto lots of hope.
I think we definitely need to use logic in our situations and be careful to take our readings with a pinch of salt whilst continuing with our lives, even though that is very difficult (and easy to say). After all, most of what readers say rarely happens.
--- End quote ---
I agree but disagree at the same time. i agree on the initial part what you mentioned but everyone's journey is different. there may be things they need to learn to realize how they feel about someone. maybe you'll still be around or maybe you would have moved on. but plenty of people get together because they realized how much they loved each other. i rather be with someone who has to go through something to be with someone who falls out of love with me as time goes on. sometimes neither has to happen. all im saying is every relationship is different. some take a straight road, some take a curvy one. doesn't mean either is wrong. if you really loved someone and were still in love with them and they showed up at your door, you wouldn't forgive them just because they took some time to realize? then you've never been in love. this does not excuse bad behavior. im talking about a normal relationship where things just fell apart. men dont function like we do. i am mostly surrounded by men (friendships and work life). i have all my life. half the time they dont realize things until it hits them straight into the head or are told directly. my advice is forgive everyone, not for them but for yourself. doesnt mean you end up with them but forgive them because resentment and bitterness is not going to build in them but within you.
--- End quote ---
I'm sorry but I completely disagree. So I should accept someone who disappeared for months on end or slept with or saw other women and suddenly want to know me, or I don't love them? Each to their own but I completely disagree there and would rather have respect for myself than allow someone the green light to say okay go away for a few months and do what you like I'll still be here. I'm a doormat pretty much when it comes to guys and far too forgiving but the longer someone leaves something and shows no sorrow, manages to date and see other women the less I could ever move forwards or forgive them.
It has nothing to do with me being bitter, it is about me saying you chose your decision and I am better than that and won't allow someone to come in and out of my life whenever it suits them. I think that personally that is much healthier.
Without sounding rude our experiences with men are much different to each other. I've never had a man go and come back and be genuine about being sorry and realising what he's done. There was always a motive or it was disingenuous. You are luckier and honestly I don't mean to sound rude but seem to have men see you on a pedestal and respect you. That's why I posted what I did. I have seen nothing but the bad and selfish side of men returning. The same with my friends and family and their exes, it never has been genuine. Even they said that themselves.
Maybe I also should have been clearer - do I believe that it is possible anybody can go and realise their feelings for you in time? I believe that applies - geninuely - in specific situations such as someone with depression who pushes you away, or commitment phobic. But when it comes to wanting to have their cake and eat it and enjoying the single life, mixed in with how they treated you in the relationship (abusive or no) if they come back all sorrowful in my personal opinion that's a self serving false oh shit what did I do I want her now, now I'm ready. And that's wrong and on their terms. But if other women accept that that's upto them I'm just posting personally how I feel and apologise if others disagree.
--- End quote ---
That’s not what I meant. I’m not saying anyone should accept anything. You can have respect for yourself and accept them back or not accept them back. The two are not related. I’m just saying when you really love someone, there’s a lot you’re willing to forgive. People are fallible. We all make mistakes. Some bigger than others. We often see things only from our perspectives and from our hurt egos. It’s always what someone else did. Half the time people are fighting their own demons that have nothing to with us. I always used to be like oh f*ck this person they screwed me over and this one that one. The longer I kept doing this, I kept myself in that victim state. Then I stopped because I got so frustrated and realized people do shit and that’s their own problem. It has nothing to do with me and it’s like all of that hurt anger whatever else is lifted off your back. Everyone hurts us yet we still love them. There is not one relationship where the person at one time doesn’t hurt you in some way or another. It’s just what you’re willing to accept and can move past.
--- End quote ---
Well that's exactly what I said in my opening post that you responded to disagreeing, I said about how men go and explore elsewhere with other women and muck us about then come back when it suits them and you mentioned about if I don't forgive them I can't love them and that is okay for them to go away and do whatever in order to realise their mistakes? Unfortunately in all seriousness and honesty, I haven't been lucky as you have to have a man go okay I did wrong and I actually had to go away to realise what I've done. My relationships all were men coming back and forth for motives. Yes, a man can come back and genuinely miss us and realise his mistakes, but that doesn't happen often at all. There's a difference between someone making mistakes and someone taking you for a ride, we all can rock up to an exes door crying and begging for them back but it depends on the true intention behind it and a man typically shows with actions his feelings than words.
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