Author Topic: Wait for contact or make contact?  (Read 5730 times)

Offline Star_01

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Re: Wait for contact or make contact?
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2019, 12:48:21 AM »
I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

Before I got to that point in your message I thought the same; he’s either not giving an answer for that purpose or wants you to keep chasing to feed his own ego and to feel like he’s in control. To not even give a “yes, leave me alone” is pretty immature.

When me and my guy broke up we still talked. We actually had such a terrible fight that led to it but a couple days later I needed his help and he was there. I kept pushing though because he kept saying he “wanted to think about it” and that drove me insane to say the least. We ended up having a pretty rough fight, we both said some terrible things and I then blocked him. His parents also had some influence on our last altercation so I got that against me as well.

Yeah I was told that, too, so that he knows I am still there and he can dip in when he fancies. I agree, very childish and heartless to ignore someone and not give them a frank answer, just makes me less and less forgiving to his behaviour.

From him helping you it seems like he must have obviously cared about you, and I couldn't say how he feels now or how long it has been but we all say things in anger and regret the words we said or reminisce and think of the person so even though you had this bad fight which unsurprisingly probably makes you left feeling kinda sceptical, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you feel the contact isn't over. If you blocked him when you both argued maybe he is waiting on you to come forth and wondering what the heck is going on, missing you. I'd sit on it and whatever feels right.

Offline Girly1998

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Re: Wait for contact or make contact?
« Reply #31 on: July 29, 2019, 01:03:07 AM »
I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

Before I got to that point in your message I thought the same; he’s either not giving an answer for that purpose or wants you to keep chasing to feed his own ego and to feel like he’s in control. To not even give a “yes, leave me alone” is pretty immature.

When me and my guy broke up we still talked. We actually had such a terrible fight that led to it but a couple days later I needed his help and he was there. I kept pushing though because he kept saying he “wanted to think about it” and that drove me insane to say the least. We ended up having a pretty rough fight, we both said some terrible things and I then blocked him. His parents also had some influence on our last altercation so I got that against me as well.

Yeah I was told that, too, so that he knows I am still there and he can dip in when he fancies. I agree, very childish and heartless to ignore someone and not give them a frank answer, just makes me less and less forgiving to his behaviour.

From him helping you it seems like he must have obviously cared about you, and I couldn't say how he feels now or how long it has been but we all say things in anger and regret the words we said or reminisce and think of the person so even though you had this bad fight which unsurprisingly probably makes you left feeling kinda sceptical, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you feel the contact isn't over. If you blocked him when you both argued maybe he is waiting on you to come forth and wondering what the heck is going on, missing you. I'd sit on it and whatever feels right.

Ghosting is probably one of the major deal breakers for me, I don’t think I’d be able trust again after that. Not sure what happened between you but unless you done something to him to warrant it, I think there’s no excuse. And I how if he does come back, you have the strength to turn the other cheek to him.

I unblocked him not long after to find he also blocked me. I only know of him doing it on one form of social media, not sure if my number is blocked but I’m too scared to find out lol. I think one day I will reach out, just waiting for when it feels “right.” I wish I could find a psychic who could see into his reaction/feelings.

Offline Star_01

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Re: Wait for contact or make contact?
« Reply #32 on: July 29, 2019, 01:11:47 AM »
I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

Before I got to that point in your message I thought the same; he’s either not giving an answer for that purpose or wants you to keep chasing to feed his own ego and to feel like he’s in control. To not even give a “yes, leave me alone” is pretty immature.

When me and my guy broke up we still talked. We actually had such a terrible fight that led to it but a couple days later I needed his help and he was there. I kept pushing though because he kept saying he “wanted to think about it” and that drove me insane to say the least. We ended up having a pretty rough fight, we both said some terrible things and I then blocked him. His parents also had some influence on our last altercation so I got that against me as well.

Yeah I was told that, too, so that he knows I am still there and he can dip in when he fancies. I agree, very childish and heartless to ignore someone and not give them a frank answer, just makes me less and less forgiving to his behaviour.

From him helping you it seems like he must have obviously cared about you, and I couldn't say how he feels now or how long it has been but we all say things in anger and regret the words we said or reminisce and think of the person so even though you had this bad fight which unsurprisingly probably makes you left feeling kinda sceptical, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you feel the contact isn't over. If you blocked him when you both argued maybe he is waiting on you to come forth and wondering what the heck is going on, missing you. I'd sit on it and whatever feels right.

Ghosting is probably one of the major deal breakers for me, I don’t think I’d be able trust again after that. Not sure what happened between you but unless you done something to him to warrant it, I think there’s no excuse. And I how if he does come back, you have the strength to turn the other cheek to him.

I unblocked him not long after to find he also blocked me. I only know of him doing it on one form of social media, not sure if my number is blocked but I’m too scared to find out lol. I think one day I will reach out, just waiting for when it feels “right.” I wish I could find a psychic who could see into his reaction/feelings.

Being ghosted sucks. Everytime things got serious between us he would back off and go cold and quiet on me, I tried talking to him one night and he sulked with me and called me controlling etc, I always felt like I was on eggshells. It led to arguing and that's that.

And I find actually readers struggle to really get someone's feelings right, they tried telling me that this guy did and the other POI who clearly are showing otherwise. Reach out when you feel ready to and when it feels right, you never know he could be waiting for you to make contact too. It depends how fresh the argument is and if things were said unforgivable, you won't know 100% til you take the plunge.

Offline Girly1998

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Re: Wait for contact or make contact?
« Reply #33 on: July 29, 2019, 01:34:46 AM »
I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

Before I got to that point in your message I thought the same; he’s either not giving an answer for that purpose or wants you to keep chasing to feed his own ego and to feel like he’s in control. To not even give a “yes, leave me alone” is pretty immature.

When me and my guy broke up we still talked. We actually had such a terrible fight that led to it but a couple days later I needed his help and he was there. I kept pushing though because he kept saying he “wanted to think about it” and that drove me insane to say the least. We ended up having a pretty rough fight, we both said some terrible things and I then blocked him. His parents also had some influence on our last altercation so I got that against me as well.

Yeah I was told that, too, so that he knows I am still there and he can dip in when he fancies. I agree, very childish and heartless to ignore someone and not give them a frank answer, just makes me less and less forgiving to his behaviour.

From him helping you it seems like he must have obviously cared about you, and I couldn't say how he feels now or how long it has been but we all say things in anger and regret the words we said or reminisce and think of the person so even though you had this bad fight which unsurprisingly probably makes you left feeling kinda sceptical, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you feel the contact isn't over. If you blocked him when you both argued maybe he is waiting on you to come forth and wondering what the heck is going on, missing you. I'd sit on it and whatever feels right.

Ghosting is probably one of the major deal breakers for me, I don’t think I’d be able trust again after that. Not sure what happened between you but unless you done something to him to warrant it, I think there’s no excuse. And I how if he does come back, you have the strength to turn the other cheek to him.

I unblocked him not long after to find he also blocked me. I only know of him doing it on one form of social media, not sure if my number is blocked but I’m too scared to find out lol. I think one day I will reach out, just waiting for when it feels “right.” I wish I could find a psychic who could see into his reaction/feelings.

Being ghosted sucks. Everytime things got serious between us he would back off and go cold and quiet on me, I tried talking to him one night and he sulked with me and called me controlling etc, I always felt like I was on eggshells. It led to arguing and that's that.

And I find actually readers struggle to really get someone's feelings right, they tried telling me that this guy did and the other POI who clearly are showing otherwise. Reach out when you feel ready to and when it feels right, you never know he could be waiting for you to make contact too. It depends how fresh the argument is and if things were said unforgivable, you won't know 100% til you take the plunge.

Also, the reader may be right on the persons feelings but the person may just never let you know their true feelings or they may not act on them. Without going into much detail I think the “said” things were worse on his part but my actions were pretty bad. I’m such a forgiving person though. A genuine apology goes a long way for me. I think when you also mess up enough you come to learn that not everybody has malicious intentions when they hurt you. People just suck when they’re angry and their ego gets in the way of them apologizing.

If I do reach out you guys will surely hear about it!

Offline Star_01

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  • Posts: 403
Re: Wait for contact or make contact?
« Reply #34 on: July 29, 2019, 02:16:06 AM »
I think that ultimately, it's upto you to decide what's right with reaching out to someone, and to sit on it not making rash decisions. If you are looking for an answer and just are fed up then it's probably best to reach out with something and at least you have the closure. I reached out to my newest POI multiple times and he is just ignoring me, so I kinda got my answer which was in total contrast to the "he's scared/he is worried he will reach out and you'll reject him/he misses you" crap I got told.

The problem is, readers have told me themselves they advised someone either not to reach out or to send a lighthearted message and the woman is texting and ringing him like 50 times a day wondering why it has pushed him away more.

That’s what I’m scared of. I’d rather a rude response than no response at all tbh. It’s not in his character to respond harshly but he’s definitely an ignorer. I don’t believe readers when I’m told he’ll reach out but I also don’t believe that we’ll never talk again either.

I feel like my POI is playing games with and punishing me. When I last contacted him I texted him to ask if we could stay as friends or if he wanted no contact again and I'd respect an answer and leave him alone delete his number etc. He just read and ignored all of my messages whereas in other relationships that were very toxic the guys at the end had a decency to at least be honest or leave things like adults. By ignoring me, my friends and a couple of readers have said it's like he won't give me an answer incase he needs me some other time and wants to keep me hanging. My exact words were I'm stuck here not sure what's going on could you at least tell me.. And nothing. So he couldn't even be decent enough to make a response and tell me where things were at, he hasn't blocked me either on anything.

With your situation I don't really know it, so I can't really comment but it depends on if your guy was genuine and not a dick like my guy is. If he does ignore you, he may genuinely be in his own mindset, need his space or time to think. But hopefully he wouldn't ignore you and leave you hanging either.

Before I got to that point in your message I thought the same; he’s either not giving an answer for that purpose or wants you to keep chasing to feed his own ego and to feel like he’s in control. To not even give a “yes, leave me alone” is pretty immature.

When me and my guy broke up we still talked. We actually had such a terrible fight that led to it but a couple days later I needed his help and he was there. I kept pushing though because he kept saying he “wanted to think about it” and that drove me insane to say the least. We ended up having a pretty rough fight, we both said some terrible things and I then blocked him. His parents also had some influence on our last altercation so I got that against me as well.

Yeah I was told that, too, so that he knows I am still there and he can dip in when he fancies. I agree, very childish and heartless to ignore someone and not give them a frank answer, just makes me less and less forgiving to his behaviour.

From him helping you it seems like he must have obviously cared about you, and I couldn't say how he feels now or how long it has been but we all say things in anger and regret the words we said or reminisce and think of the person so even though you had this bad fight which unsurprisingly probably makes you left feeling kinda sceptical, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. Especially if you feel the contact isn't over. If you blocked him when you both argued maybe he is waiting on you to come forth and wondering what the heck is going on, missing you. I'd sit on it and whatever feels right.

Ghosting is probably one of the major deal breakers for me, I don’t think I’d be able trust again after that. Not sure what happened between you but unless you done something to him to warrant it, I think there’s no excuse. And I how if he does come back, you have the strength to turn the other cheek to him.

I unblocked him not long after to find he also blocked me. I only know of him doing it on one form of social media, not sure if my number is blocked but I’m too scared to find out lol. I think one day I will reach out, just waiting for when it feels “right.” I wish I could find a psychic who could see into his reaction/feelings.

Being ghosted sucks. Everytime things got serious between us he would back off and go cold and quiet on me, I tried talking to him one night and he sulked with me and called me controlling etc, I always felt like I was on eggshells. It led to arguing and that's that.

And I find actually readers struggle to really get someone's feelings right, they tried telling me that this guy did and the other POI who clearly are showing otherwise. Reach out when you feel ready to and when it feels right, you never know he could be waiting for you to make contact too. It depends how fresh the argument is and if things were said unforgivable, you won't know 100% til you take the plunge.

Also, the reader may be right on the persons feelings but the person may just never let you know their true feelings or they may not act on them. Without going into much detail I think the “said” things were worse on his part but my actions were pretty bad. I’m such a forgiving person though. A genuine apology goes a long way for me. I think when you also mess up enough you come to learn that not everybody has malicious intentions when they hurt you. People just suck when they’re angry and their ego gets in the way of them apologizing.

If I do reach out you guys will surely hear about it!

If this guy truly had feelings for me after how he acted then I'd genuinely faint lol. And I agree ego gets in the way lots, especially with guys. Many don't like accepting they did wrong or apologising and it can cause them to stay distant. But best of luck to you 🙂

 

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