Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
When your gut tells you prediction is wrong
Star_01:
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 25, 2019, 01:26:47 PM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on July 25, 2019, 05:39:26 AM ---
--- Quote from: FlutterShy on July 25, 2019, 03:27:47 AM ---I’m dealing with a ghost situation
And I think something we need to remember is we’re dealing with is unexpressed anger and abandonment, plus now whatever trust issues and hang ups from whatever baggage of previous relationship. And remember we can’t even express our anger to the individual at hand because well... they’ve become a ghost.
So, I ... I’m going to blunt: I do not think what you’ve written is from your gut instinct/spiritual insight. There is way too much going on, too much back and forth and self doubt and caught still in fear. And if you feel that way, fine, but I see you questioning it... and remember this is part of that ghost course: They have you questioning everything you did know. If it was true inner gut intuition insight I think you would say, “he’s not coming back, that ok it’s not personal reflection of me.” And move along your day, and by pass psychics to begin with.
But here is what I can say and do know:
1. Ghosting is immature
2. It’s a reflection of them, not you
3. However, what you do after because of it is a reflection of you.
4. When you do do the right thing or act from your true gut instinct, and rise above, it rattles people to their core!
I want to say more... about using affirmations and I do think if you put a positive spin on the situation, or look for the positivity in this, they will help...ish and eventually give closure and confidence to move thru... but I feel I need to do eft, and also check myself (and of what I said was offensive take it with grain salt, I’m just projecting) here’s is my positive “even if I was ghosted I still have love and respect for myself” saying this is the only thing that keeps me from contacting them and looking like desperate fool trying to get answers from someone not even there
--- End quote ---
I get gut feelings on many situations and it has never proven me wrong once, I've ignored it every time and even been told by readers that I never trust my intuition and have ability to suss things out and should listen. It has nothing to do with fear, it is definitely my gut speaking. I also said to myself "oh you're just worrying as you're so pessimistic", but it was screaming at me all the time and I couldn't shake it off. I've said it before but all the readers were wrong, even QOC who is supposed to be good with the amount of 3rd parties around someone. I listened to them over my gut and I regret it, and I don't even need readings myself.
And that's why I'm skeptical of LOA, I've tried it in various ways and I don't believe you can manifest someone talking to and getting back together with you. Lots of people on this board are in unhealthy relationships deep down although wouldn't want to admit to that, and so for some situations, trying to manifest someone come back is just unrealistic. I've seen so many people practice LOA since I was on the board thinking it would get their POI back and they still are waiting for contact. A couple of people said on the Lanie Stevens thread and LOA on here that you can manipulate someone to try and contact, but you can't get them to get back with you. I'm sorry I just think some things are really unrealistic, I think we can all hold our hands up we have wanted an ex back who really wasn't (looking back) interested and we knew deep down that they were not returning and it would be unrealistic them coming back even via LOA.
I was told and given various affirmations to do and none of them worked on more than one situation I tried LOA and my gut overrode it and told me my answer over and over again, and I do trust my gut and that's why I stopped readings each time because I began to mistrust readers and readings and I thought to myself "well I'm just wasting money here on something I know isn't realistic to happen", and that helped me whereas LOA would have prolonged and given me false hope on a non existant situation.
But I have to say I agree with all of your other points, you can still choose to be positive in a negative situation. You can choose to take revenge on the ex or be adult and leave karma to do it's work. You can choose to learn lessons and experience from a situation. If someone treats you shitty then that's with them and their personal issues within them going on, most of the time it's not a reflection on you.
--- End quote ---
How did you distinguish it as being your gut? Usually I only realize it after the fact instead of during.
--- End quote ---
I know when it's a gut feeling when I just can't shake it off no matter what I do to keep busy or what hope I try to keep. There was an instance with my first POI I got addicted to all of last year. When I was last staying with him I had an awful gut feeling I just wasn't sure about, and when I came to say goodbye and go home from staying with him I was hugging and kissing him goodbye and as I did I had this voice thought in my mind, never experienced it ever before or since saying "this'll be the last time you see him". I just had this "knowing" feeling that we were over, and I remember feeling like "wtf?" And really upset and confused, not knowing what to do and I remember going home knowing it was over before it was over. A couple of days later the relationship really broke down and we did split up, I tried to reconcile with him and he wasn't interested and told me himself he didn't love me at all but these readers kept me hanging on "ohh he's in denial he was mad etc etc", I just pushed my gut feeling down as worry or going mad and in the end when it got to 6+ months I used common sense that if someone did have feelings they wouldn't leave it that long without talking. I spoke to guys on forums and they said if a man likes you he will make it known as he doesn't want to lose you etc. That is why I believe some things are set.
Star_01:
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 25, 2019, 05:30:50 PM ---
--- Quote from: Fidget1028 on July 25, 2019, 05:07:36 PM ---
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 25, 2019, 04:51:26 PM ---I think ghosting is either the person doesn’t want to deal with knowing they hurt your feeling or they are keeping you around in case they want you at some other point. In some cases I also believe some may do it because they know it hurts and are being petty. None are okay, and I honestly don’t think I could ever trust a ghoster again. Who’s to say they won’t do it again?
I’m sorry your dealing with this, I hope you get the closure you need and if reconciliation of what you truly want I hope that for you as well.
--- End quote ---
It's the chicken s**t way out.
--- End quote ---
Exactly. But you’re the “crazy” one if you keep trying to contact them.
--- End quote ---
I agree with this. With my recent POI we fell out and I texted him to ask him if we could at least keep as friends, or if he had no intentions of ever talking again be honest so I could please move on. He read my messages okay, didn't block me or anything of the sort and I was left in limbo. One reader said "well you should get the message he wouldn't wanna talk just by ignoring you", but this guy was a headfuck, we always argued and he said it was done ignored me to punish me and sulk, and then would calm down blah blah repeat x100 type. For me, I shouldn't "just get the message", by ignoring someone you're leaving them in limbo quite possibly on purpose incase you need to "dip in" again later at some point. Most adult people would say "take care this isn't going to work out best of luck". I have had some toxic relationships but we managed to end things as adults, this recent guy ignored me and knows I hate that as I don't know what's going on. So it probably also is punishing me.
This happened before, we argued very aptly before he was due to go on vacation and he ignored me whilst he was away so I deleted his number and all, and he came back and texted me as though nothing had happened and making excuses which I fell for.
Girly1998:
I do get both points in the aspect. I don’t respond back to a certain person but I know his intent isn’t at all good and he doesn’t “miss me.” I guess it depends on their approach is.
Star_01:
--- Quote from: Fidget1028 on July 25, 2019, 05:07:36 PM ---
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 25, 2019, 04:51:26 PM ---I think ghosting is either the person doesn’t want to deal with knowing they hurt your feeling or they are keeping you around in case they want you at some other point. In some cases I also believe some may do it because they know it hurts and are being petty. None are okay, and I honestly don’t think I could ever trust a ghoster again. Who’s to say they won’t do it again?
I’m sorry your dealing with this, I hope you get the closure you need and if reconciliation of what you truly want I hope that for you as well.
--- End quote ---
It's the chicken s**t way out.
--- End quote ---
To add to the whole crazy thing, this most recent POI of mine has kinda ruined my esteem with this. Whenever things would go serious between us he would back off and I naturally would get confused and try talk to him to be called crazy and controlling etc and usually we would argue he would sulk ignore me then we would move on as though nothing happened. Part of me knows I did nothing wrong and actually he was quite the controlling and jealous one who wanted power, even an empath told me this. Another part makes me feel crappy about myself and maybe I pissed him off and gave him hassle and I can see why some men can easily come in and out because they're really good at making you seem the baddie and they're the poor victim.
Girly1998:
--- Quote from: Star_01 on July 25, 2019, 07:27:40 PM ---
--- Quote from: Girly1998 on July 25, 2019, 01:26:47 PM ---
--- Quote from: Star_01 on July 25, 2019, 05:39:26 AM ---
--- Quote from: FlutterShy on July 25, 2019, 03:27:47 AM ---I’m dealing with a ghost situation
And I think something we need to remember is we’re dealing with is unexpressed anger and abandonment, plus now whatever trust issues and hang ups from whatever baggage of previous relationship. And remember we can’t even express our anger to the individual at hand because well... they’ve become a ghost.
So, I ... I’m going to blunt: I do not think what you’ve written is from your gut instinct/spiritual insight. There is way too much going on, too much back and forth and self doubt and caught still in fear. And if you feel that way, fine, but I see you questioning it... and remember this is part of that ghost course: They have you questioning everything you did know. If it was true inner gut intuition insight I think you would say, “he’s not coming back, that ok it’s not personal reflection of me.” And move along your day, and by pass psychics to begin with.
But here is what I can say and do know:
1. Ghosting is immature
2. It’s a reflection of them, not you
3. However, what you do after because of it is a reflection of you.
4. When you do do the right thing or act from your true gut instinct, and rise above, it rattles people to their core!
I want to say more... about using affirmations and I do think if you put a positive spin on the situation, or look for the positivity in this, they will help...ish and eventually give closure and confidence to move thru... but I feel I need to do eft, and also check myself (and of what I said was offensive take it with grain salt, I’m just projecting) here’s is my positive “even if I was ghosted I still have love and respect for myself” saying this is the only thing that keeps me from contacting them and looking like desperate fool trying to get answers from someone not even there
--- End quote ---
I get gut feelings on many situations and it has never proven me wrong once, I've ignored it every time and even been told by readers that I never trust my intuition and have ability to suss things out and should listen. It has nothing to do with fear, it is definitely my gut speaking. I also said to myself "oh you're just worrying as you're so pessimistic", but it was screaming at me all the time and I couldn't shake it off. I've said it before but all the readers were wrong, even QOC who is supposed to be good with the amount of 3rd parties around someone. I listened to them over my gut and I regret it, and I don't even need readings myself.
And that's why I'm skeptical of LOA, I've tried it in various ways and I don't believe you can manifest someone talking to and getting back together with you. Lots of people on this board are in unhealthy relationships deep down although wouldn't want to admit to that, and so for some situations, trying to manifest someone come back is just unrealistic. I've seen so many people practice LOA since I was on the board thinking it would get their POI back and they still are waiting for contact. A couple of people said on the Lanie Stevens thread and LOA on here that you can manipulate someone to try and contact, but you can't get them to get back with you. I'm sorry I just think some things are really unrealistic, I think we can all hold our hands up we have wanted an ex back who really wasn't (looking back) interested and we knew deep down that they were not returning and it would be unrealistic them coming back even via LOA.
I was told and given various affirmations to do and none of them worked on more than one situation I tried LOA and my gut overrode it and told me my answer over and over again, and I do trust my gut and that's why I stopped readings each time because I began to mistrust readers and readings and I thought to myself "well I'm just wasting money here on something I know isn't realistic to happen", and that helped me whereas LOA would have prolonged and given me false hope on a non existant situation.
But I have to say I agree with all of your other points, you can still choose to be positive in a negative situation. You can choose to take revenge on the ex or be adult and leave karma to do it's work. You can choose to learn lessons and experience from a situation. If someone treats you shitty then that's with them and their personal issues within them going on, most of the time it's not a reflection on you.
--- End quote ---
How did you distinguish it as being your gut? Usually I only realize it after the fact instead of during.
--- End quote ---
I know when it's a gut feeling when I just can't shake it off no matter what I do to keep busy or what hope I try to keep. There was an instance with my first POI I got addicted to all of last year. When I was last staying with him I had an awful gut feeling I just wasn't sure about, and when I came to say goodbye and go home from staying with him I was hugging and kissing him goodbye and as I did I had this voice thought in my mind, never experienced it ever before or since saying "this'll be the last time you see him". I just had this "knowing" feeling that we were over, and I remember feeling like "wtf?" And really upset and confused, not knowing what to do and I remember going home knowing it was over before it was over. A couple of days later the relationship really broke down and we did split up, I tried to reconcile with him and he wasn't interested and told me himself he didn't love me at all but these readers kept me hanging on "ohh he's in denial he was mad etc etc", I just pushed my gut feeling down as worry or going mad and in the end when it got to 6+ months I used common sense that if someone did have feelings they wouldn't leave it that long without talking. I spoke to guys on forums and they said if a man likes you he will make it known as he doesn't want to lose you etc. That is why I believe some things are set.
--- End quote ---
Well I’ve had men come back after 6 months. I don’t really agree with that. People change their mind everyday. More time is usually better imo because the past somewhat becomes a blur and it easier to forget the bad and focus on what was good. But it also gives you the chance to move one.
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