Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Having a rough week

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WinterElf:

--- Quote from: Lpoche on July 02, 2019, 03:01:56 PM ---I just want to vent to someone, and feel like I don’t have many people to turn to that I can unload on. Hoping I can get some good vibes and well-wishes from you guys. I was feeling much better the past couple of weeks, until yesterday and today.

All of my readers keep mentioning that my most recent ex is returning. A majority of them say he is the one. I just have a hard time believing this, but that’s neither here nor there. What this really boils down to is I feel so rejected and unable to connect to people.

Recently this guy started dating someone. We have been out of touch, so it’s no surprise and it really isn’t something I should be mad about. My problem is, this girl is just like a step up from a stripper. Literally. She has a picture of her on public social media with her fake boobs showing drinking straight from a bottle of jack daniels. I’m not one to judge but, y’all. I do not understand it at all. He is a grown adult who I would assume wants to settle down. They have met each other’s families, introduced their kids, like fully committed to a serious relationship.

My mentality at this point isn’t even about him. I’m more just at a loss for why my “happily ever after” never comes, and I get left for this. I am not someone who nags, I’m not jealous, I’m a good mom and provide a good life for my daughter and I, and I am attractive... I. Do. Not. Get. It. Obviously I am not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, I’m not perfect nor the best there is out there understandably. But eventually can’t I be SOMEBODY’S preference?! Does anyone else get this?

I went through a very abusive relationship previously, it’s been about 5 years since I left. And I guess I’m just getting to a point that I have been through enough bad, I finally want some good to come into life. Psychics have just been something I’ve turned to for hope, but it’s starting to crush the little hope I had left.

--- End quote ---

The part where you said why your happily ever after never comes.....  I feel you.  I KEEP WONDERING THE SAME THING.  It is a horrible feeling. I thought i was the only one feeling like that sometimes.

lp1111:

--- Quote from: sawthelight on July 02, 2019, 05:42:21 PM ---I honestly don't even want to know if my first POI is with someone else, I really don't.  I just take his lack of communication and behavior while I knew him as closure...that's just me though lol. 

If he is with someone else though, she has my sympathies LOL.

--- End quote ---

Haha! I hear ya! I feel like if I didn’t know I would still be holding on to that, “well he has a lot going on and isn’t quite ready” mentality. Which let’s be honest is BS, but it still somehow makes us keep hope.

lp1111:

--- Quote from: WinterElf on July 02, 2019, 06:21:00 PM ---The part where you said why your happily ever after never comes.....  I feel you.  I KEEP WONDERING THE SAME THING.  It is a horrible feeling. I thought i was the only one feeling like that sometimes.

--- End quote ---

I’m sorry you feel that way too. Sometimes it can seem like everyone has it together but you. I guess it’s comforting in a way to know there are plenty others out there in the same boat. Wishing you the same happiness we all deserve.

sawthelight:

--- Quote from: Lpoche on July 02, 2019, 06:22:04 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on July 02, 2019, 05:42:21 PM ---I honestly don't even want to know if my first POI is with someone else, I really don't.  I just take his lack of communication and behavior while I knew him as closure...that's just me though lol. 

If he is with someone else though, she has my sympathies LOL.

--- End quote ---

Haha! I hear ya! I feel like if I didn’t know I would still be holding on to that, “well he has a lot going on and isn’t quite ready” mentality. Which let’s be honest is BS, but it still somehow makes us keep hope.

--- End quote ---

Such BS most of the time..that's why a lot of people have their POIs move ahead with someone else. 

honestly, unless there is something earth shattering going on in a guy's life, or they are a total player, they will move ahead with someone they want to be with...I just feel that's the reality of it.

Was just browsing Instagram, and saw this:

"If he can goes hours or days without speaking to you, chances are you are not a priority to him.  Do yourself a favor and bow out.  Never wait around to be chosen"...

So damn true.

lp1111:

--- Quote from: sawthelight on July 02, 2019, 06:36:57 PM ---
--- Quote from: Lpoche on July 02, 2019, 06:22:04 PM ---
--- Quote from: sawthelight on July 02, 2019, 05:42:21 PM ---I honestly don't even want to know if my first POI is with someone else, I really don't.  I just take his lack of communication and behavior while I knew him as closure...that's just me though lol. 

If he is with someone else though, she has my sympathies LOL.

--- End quote ---

Haha! I hear ya! I feel like if I didn’t know I would still be holding on to that, “well he has a lot going on and isn’t quite ready” mentality. Which let’s be honest is BS, but it still somehow makes us keep hope.

--- End quote ---

Such BS most of the time..that's why a lot of people have their POIs move ahead with someone else. 

honestly, unless there is something earth shattering going on in a guy's life, or they are a total player, they will move ahead with someone they want to be with...I just feel that's the reality of it.

--- End quote ---

Right! I think the thing that messed me up is there IS something earth shattering going on in his life, so if I didn’t have this I would have kept rationalizing. Regardless, he’s shown me his true colors. Just got to move it along now!

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