Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent

Which advice to take...

<< < (2/2)

Dreamer23:
Maybe the answer is somewhere in the middle...don't come on too strong, but do express how you feel.

Most of the time we are dealing with avoidant people, who love to run away when you get too close. And playing games might keep them interested and it might keep it going for a while.

Avoidants need their space and independence. Saying too much at the wrong time can backfire. But expressing your needs is important too, just make sure they are not overwhelming to the other party.

seeker123:
Love2lovenj  - I was in a similar situation more then 7-8 months ago. Will told me that I should keep things light and friendly, but not chase him. However, Yona essentially said I have to play hard to get by moving away from him & make him think I have moved on. But she also said not to play games as that might backfire.

I was torn for a while, but went with Will's advice. I kept things very cordial, but I did break down once and told him how I felt. But we are back to being just cordial, edging a little towards friendship.

It is like walking on eggshells, but my recommendation is to keep things in the middle too.

Flyingsoul:

--- Quote from: Love2lovenj on February 13, 2019, 07:37:29 PM ---What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

--- End quote ---

Believe or not, everything is fated, if it's meant to yours, regardless what, will be yours :) Hope this is the good news for you!

ladya:

--- Quote from: Flyingsoul on February 14, 2019, 03:41:13 AM ---
--- Quote from: Love2lovenj on February 13, 2019, 07:37:29 PM ---What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want?  I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is.  Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?

--- End quote ---

Believe or not, everything is fated, if it's meant to yours, regardless what, will be yours :) Hope this is the good news for you!

--- End quote ---

Agreed.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page