Relationship Psychology Discussions > The Vent
Which advice to take...
Love2lovenj:
What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want? I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is. Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?
Love2lovenj:
--- Quote from: Silverlightnmoom on February 13, 2019, 07:43:24 PM ---I say instead to living by the words of advisors and society standards, you do you :). If you want to message him, message him. If you want to express your feelings and not play games, then don’t play the games and express your feelings. The right person will not get scared off by these things, if anything, they will embrace them. But I always stand by to prioritize people as they prioritize you. So keep doing you! I sound like Dr. Seuss.
--- End quote ---
Lol, love me some Dr Seuss. Yes the advice to play hard to get was said so that he would break the cycle. Personally i think he needs a swift kick in the arse. It's always when you find someone new that they want to fight for you.
sawthelight:
--- Quote from: Silverlightnmoom on February 13, 2019, 07:43:24 PM ---I say instead to living by the words of advisors and society standards, you do you :). If you want to message him, message him. If you want to express your feelings and not play games, then don’t play the games and express your feelings. The right person will not get scared off by these things, if anything, they will embrace them. But I always stand by to prioritize people as they prioritize you. So keep doing you! I sound like Dr. Seuss.
--- End quote ---
LOL love this, great post! Bolded part is my new motto...
ladya:
--- Quote from: Love2lovenj on February 13, 2019, 07:37:29 PM ---What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want? I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is. Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?
--- End quote ---
You do what's best for you. Advisors give advice based on their own experiences, just as anyone else. It depends on the type of person. There's ways to express what you want without it sounding like an ultimatum. More like guiding them to what you want and see what happens. I don't like playing games, I've never been that person. So when someone tells me I have to not answer for 4 hours or seem unavailable, I roll my eyes because it's not me. Don't get me wrong, I don't jump just because they say jump but I don't like the tit for tat behavior. It makes me feel like Im training a dog not dealing with another person. However, it's common advice psychics give too I noticed.
Love2lovenj:
--- Quote from: ladya on February 13, 2019, 07:54:30 PM ---
--- Quote from: Love2lovenj on February 13, 2019, 07:37:29 PM ---What do you do when one advisor tells you to play hard to get and the other tell you to express what you feel and want? I don't like playing the guessing game but seems like i am more of a direct person than he is. Also if two people are guarded, how do you get anywhere?
--- End quote ---
You do what's best for you. Advisors give advice based on their own experiences, just as anyone else. It depends on the type of person. There's ways to express what you want without it sounding like an ultimatum. More like guiding them to what you want and see what happens. I don't like playing games, I've never been that person. So when someone tells me I have to not answer for 4 hours or seem unavailable, I roll my eyes because it's not me. Don't get me wrong, I don't jump just because they say jump but I don't like the tit for tat behavior. It makes me feel like Im training a dog not dealing with another person. However, it's common advice psychics give too I noticed.
--- End quote ---
Yes I've never understood the guessing game. Life would be so much easier if people would just say what they mean and mean what they say.
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